Name: Dave Plays "May We See Your Photos, Please?" | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-05-24T14:59:59.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Plays "May We See Your Photos, Please?" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Plays "May We See Your Photos, Please?" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-24. Transcript available.

you know last night i mentioned that we're having some trouble with connie chung
uh connie has been
one of our best friends for years and years and years and we've had a little
falling out and now
i'm fearful that it might be turning into a full-blown feud oh no a feud
between you and
connie that's right because last night in an attempt to make it up by the way
have you seen
a commercial on television for something called molly mcbutter i saw this this
morning i thought
i'm dreaming yeah could we find some molly mcbutter and find out just exactly
what you do with molly
mcbutter it is good all right thank you very much uh so uh anyway yeah so i
think connie and i are
having a feud because last night in an attempt to apologize to her i i said
something about her
husband and i think that that kicked it up into a you did say something about
her call him a shiftless
gold digger but that's okay uh ladies and gentlemen my guys you're here on a
good night because tonight
we're going to play may we see your photos hal please turn on the external
camera take us up 6th
avenue to the fromx one hour photo developing store oh there's central park man
it's been a beautiful day
here in new york city today that's uh 6th avenue looking north obviously we're
going into the fromo
fromx photo store is there no music here paul there it is right there and we're
going to go inside
and play may we see your photos come on just just let's just just get right in
there let's just let's
just get in there come on like you're holding the dump up get in there there's
some there's some people
there hey wait a minute may excuse me excuse me sir hi how are you what is your
name please
excuse me i say what is your name hi nice to see you and and do you come here
often yes i do yeah all
right all right it's time now to huh was this regis yes it is
guy just getting up now listen it's it's time sir to play may we see your
photos please
all right all this slides okay all right hit the road sorry beat it thanks
anyway
how what are the odds of that happening we go to a photo store to look at some
all right you can
leave now now is there anybody else in there buying prints
yeah here's a gentleman hi how are you sir nice to see you hello and are you
picking up some photos
there yeah this is the best one yeah are these personal photos are these uh
okay i've been here
three times okay they're the best well i just got here myself yeah uh all right
sir it's time now to play
may we see your photos okay okay all right look how beautiful they are okay
there's one you see who
is that you see yeah who is that my friend that's your friend okay that's a
real keepsake and who's
that this is this is is that at a golf tournament let me tell you this guy is a
very friend of mine
by the way by the way they can't they don't they don't have change for a 50 in
that place i'm sorry
all right may excuse me may we continue to see your photos uh thanks paul i
appreciate that look
at this one there they are beautiful yeah yeah are you are you an avid golfer
sir no they did just
you know enjoying yeah i just took a picture later felled by an assassin's
bullet okay okay
all right well thank you very much sir for playing may we see your photos
he gets a gift carton of molly mcbutter uh so hal let me know when we have
somebody else
up there ready to play uh may we see your photos please okay
uh in the meantime we'll do our top ten list here it is from the the category
tonight uh top
ten tricks you can play on the census taker this i believe is is the first day
the government sends
out the census takers in in person to retrieve the data uh from folks who didn't
mail in their forms
most people were just too busy i i think to mail yeah yeah for me i misplaced
my form so a census
person will come to my home uh here we go top ten tricks you can play on the
census taker
may we see your photos please
okay never never mind it's too late too late
uh here we go ten excuse yourself from room and come back wearing different
clothes repeat this 15
times uh number nine shout all your responses as if you were a contestant on
family feud number eight
number eight have two-headed friend hang out in living room ask if he counts as
one person or two
number seven repeatedly asking how many eskimos did we count today number six i
invite them to take a
shower to freshen up then keep flushing the toilet ask if you have to fill out
form in pencil or is human
blood okay number four uh insist on first amendment right to answer question in
mime number three
number three after his sixth beer slip him a non-alcoholic one and see if he
notices the
difference number number two two words plastic vomit there you go
and the number one trick you can play on the census takers start going 168
million and one 168 million and two
so guy gets messed up and has to start counting all over again
so guy gets messed up and has to start counting all over again
hey let's go look at somebody's photos do we have time or not
oh we've screwed this up completely how do you do what is your name sir my name
is jeff jeff and
you're one of the fromx boys hey yeah that's me great all right you work there
huh yeah okay we'd
like to take a look at someone's photos now okay all right you got any uh some
customers here
man expecting some kind of run on the place thursday is traditionally photo day
here in manhattan
people line up for hours hey now you've opened someone's photos illegally you
can't do that that's a
federal offense pal are those your pictures yeah all right let's see those oh
man okay show us your
photos what are that uh these are lovely yeah you gotta you gotta blow that one
up that's nice
oh wait a minute yeah okay who is that sir i have no idea all right and there's
another uh lovely shot
okay all right well that concludes this segment of may we see your photos if
you're just tuning in uh
we're playing what's what are we playing may we see your photos please is there
anybody in there now
to understand this is a one hour photo processing place up on sixth avenue
there we go all right let's
barge right in do we have time to look at photos or not sure of course let's go
right in excuse me hi
hello pardon me hi hello nice to see you it's jane paulie look at that it's jane
paulie hi how are
you hey what the hell happened so are they gone there it is right there hi that
guy right there leaned on
something and we lost our photo uh may we see your photos please ma'am oh no i
can't it's all right
it's me regis oh hi just leaning in for a better look i'm sorry oh hey hey hey
are we gonna go up
there or not no we don't have a picture you know it's because we're passing now
the earth is passing
through the van allen belt yeah we're being bombarded by bits of radiation i
see i know we'll go to this
wait a minute here's the photos okay here we go the photos
we're gonna go up here we go up here we go up here we go up here we go up here
we go up here we go
privacy of your own home, man. I think we need to see that. Thank you very much.
Why couldn't the satellite go out then? God. It's a magic night. Now, was that
her? Was that woman? I'm not sure. I don't know. It was two people. I know it
was. It looked like a whole crowd. All right. Let's go back up there and see if
we can look at some more photos. May we see some photos, please? There it is.
Oh, hi.
Hi, sir. How do you do? It's Marv Albert, ladies and gentlemen. Hi. What is
your name, sir? Thank you very much. May we see your photos, please? There we
go. Let's see. All right. Let's have a look. Let's cut. Now, can we see him
again? I can't hear a word he's saying. Thank you very much. We'll have the
pants ready in about a week. May we see your photos, please, sir? Apparently,
no one can hear me.
Hey, there. Let's come back to Earth now. Can you hear me, sir? Yeah, I can
hear you. May we see your photos, please? Sure you can. Oh, God. All right.
There's one picture of my daughter I had done in Wallace's eyes. She's
beautiful. How old a girl is that? She's 19 months. Oh, you must be very proud.
Congratulations. I'm very proud of my daughter. Yes, I am. Okay. All right.
Thank you very much. Come back again. Bye-bye.
Coming up in this half hour, actor Timothy Hutton will be joining us. Phil,
Phil. And extreme skier Kim Reichelm will also be here. Phil, Phil, I have a
question.
Tomorrow on... Phil, excuse me. I've got a question. My husband likes to walk
around the house in the noon. Is this normal?
Hang on a second. I think I know what this is. Excuse me. Excuse me one minute.
We've had this problem before.
Phil. Yeah. Excuse me. Can you come in here a second? Yeah.
You've got a call. You've got a call. Good. Good. Listener. You've got a call.
That's a call. Yeah. Call here.
Is that it? Okay. Hello. Hello. Hi. Is the caller there?
Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Phil, I was wondering. Uh, my husband has this habit. Uh,
excuse me. You got 6A. I'm in 8G. You got the wrong studio.
I'm sorry. Oh. Would you mind calling back in a... In a... Call me back. Uh, uh,
sure. When... When are you gonna be there?
I'll be there in about 15 minutes. Uh, okay. I'll call you... I'll call you
then. Okay. Bye.
Bye. Thanks. Thanks, Phil. Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah. If I get any more calls, just take a message. Message.
Sure.
It's Phil Donahue.
It's Phil Donahue in a little comedy shift.
We have to do a commercial. We'll be right back here with, uh, Timothy Hutton.