Name: CBS Mailbag: Pat & Kenny Debate The Issues | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-05-25T23:06:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Pat & Kenny Debate The Issues | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Pat & Kenny Debate The Issues | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-25. Transcript available.

i i had some disturbing news about our announcer alan calter really i'm told
that he wasn't here
for the opening of the show really yeah did you know that no i didn't know is
that true alan you
weren't here for the opening of the show no i was upstairs he doesn't seem too
worried about it does
it well who gave who told the people who were going to be on i uh well nobody
oh really yeah
we just oh that's why no there was why the music sounded so good i want to talk
to you upstairs
later too alan we'll both be there yeah all right these are actual letters now
from actual uh viewers
here we go dear dave uh how would new york city be different if you were mayor
chris gore
uh easton connecticut uh chris gore what a coincidence that is yeah uh i want
to tell you
something this mayor bloomberg i mean nobody really knows what he looks like
and nobody's ever really
seen him but he's he's a tough he's a tough guy and i'll tell you what you know
what they're really
cracking down on parking is that right oh my god i mean it's just crazy if you
make the mistake of
parking illegally forget about it i was i was coming to work today and you take
a look at what
happened when i was coming to work today is it a is it a thing yeah there we go
is this your call by the hydrant yeah all right you're coming with us
and you're standing until the show is over
that's exactly the way it was
the guy here where are they there they are right there
letter number two dear dave what is the best thing about living at this moment
in history monica
kerneka chicago illinois well monica there are an awful lot of good things uh
but but i know what you
mean times are very complicated in fact we have a new feature tonight starring
our own stagehands pat
farmer and kenny sheehan and they're going to help us now explore some of the
big issues it's a segment
we call pat and kenny debate the issues boys
i think violent crime is bad
that's what i was gonna say you ass
thank you kenny i think i think we all learned a lot there uh letter number
three dear dave would you
ever consider appearing on the new pyramid show with donny osmond melissa melissa
stiltner missoula
montana the great state of montana uh you know years ago i was actually a
contestant on the
pyramid i would i would come in and i'd be a contestant on the you know with
the folks and i'd be so
hung over because because i would fly in all night and i'd get really really
drunk and then i and then
i'd go to the hotel and i'd continue drinking all night and then they shoot the
damn show at like
seven in the morning and then they shoot like five of them so just just as they
were finishing up for
the day i was finally coming out of my alcoholic stupid and and i always cost
the the you know the
dentist from bayonne i always cost him the big money we never won big money
because i was just just
blurred you know um what the hell was the uh did you consider going on oh no oh
i i i love game
shows i love game shows especially that that hollywood squares they're always
doing something
interesting have you seen it that theme theme shows on the hollywood squares
take a look
from the celebrity capital of the world it's evil dictator week on the hollywood
squares with momar
qaddafi fidel castro manuel noriega kim jong-il yeser arafat augusto pinochet slobodan
milosevich
edi ame and joan rivers and here's your host tom bergeron
dear dave uh have you ever accidentally walked out of a store carrying six
thousand dollars worth of
merchandise now this i think that this is that uh winona ryder thing and it's
it's a very strange
weird uh story and but you know what our you know our building engineer george
clark of course it
turns out george clark was actually in the same store when uh she was shoplifting
winona ryder in
the sax fifth avenue no kidding what an unbelievable coincidence is that right
george you were in the
the same store yes it is watch oh okay
excuse me officer
i think winona ryder shoplifter
nice job brooke thank you very much