Name: Chris Elliott Performs "Rocket Man" | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-06-06T22:12:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott Performs "Rocket Man" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott Performs "Rocket Man" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-06. Transcript available.

This is very exciting, ladies and gentlemen.
An old friend of ours has dropped by tonight to be on the program
and performed something very special.
He's going to be performing his dramatic interpretation
of Elton John's classic Rocket Man.
So please sit back, enjoy, and welcome the star of Fox's Get a Life, Chris
Elliott.
Chris!
She packed my bags last night.
Pre-flight.
Zero hour.
I don't know, I think it was about 9 a.m.
I didn't look at my watch.
And I'm going to be high.
As a kite.
By then.
Oh, I miss the earth so much.
I miss my wife, too.
It's lonely out here in outer space.
Oh, it's such a timeless, timeless, timeless, timeless.
Mars ain't a place to raise a kid.
Now, in fact, it's cold as hell.
And there wouldn't be anyone there to raise the little boogers if it did.
And I think it's going to be a long, long time till touchdown brings me around.
I'm in to find I'm not the man they think I am at all.
No, no, no, no, I'm a rocket man.
I'm a rocket man.
I'm a rocket man burning out his cumes out here all alone.
And I think it's going to be a long, long time.
I think it's going to be a long, long time.
And I think it's going to be a long, long time.
Chris Elliott, ladies and gentlemen.
That's how it gets you going, doesn't it?
Nice to see you.
You don't have to say anything.
I know it gets you going, too.
Chris, I think you made us all sick.
Now, what exactly...
Thank you very much.
What exactly...
Can I tell you, can I say one thing?
Can I interrupt you?
Please do.
Can I just thank the world's greatest band right over here?
They threw that together at the last minute.
And, you know, it's especially special to me
because I always thought Paul hated my guts.
Oh, really?
I didn't realize that you guys worked together
for years and years and years
and you thought that he hated your guts?
Well, it goes back.
I don't want to really talk about it.
It was a little dispute we had many years ago.
I don't even know if Paul remembers it.
It was something about Christmas versus Hanukkah.
But anyway, that was one.
What exactly was the thrust of the debate?
I don't know, but voices were raised.
Now, explain that to us, Chris.
You were doing your interpretation of Rocket Man.
Is there a purpose to that?
Is that...
What is...
Well, as you know,
my little show, Get a Life,
is no longer on the air.
That's right.
I don't know if you're aware of that.
That's very nice of you.
And so, in essence,
what I thought I would do
is kind of a little video audition,
as it were,
for all the movie executives
and all the TV executives out there in Hollywood
just to let them know
that I don't just do the weird stuff.
Sort of what I'm into now is that.
And I think something like that,
you know,
maybe it'll start some things
clicking in their heads out there.
Because I think maybe
that could be worked into a TV show.
You see that as a TV show.
Or maybe a movie or a book.
Yeah.
Sure.
Or books.
So it's an audition piece,
is what you're saying.
It's my little audition.
It could be many things, I think.
Yeah.
Now, you mentioned
that your show is not on the air.
How long was the program on the air?
And was it canceled?
Has Get Alive been canceled?
You know that it was canceled.
That's kind of one of those
little nasty rumors going around.
No.
I decided to leave the show
on my own.
Well, let me explain why.
You know,
I have been doing it
for so many years.
And I really,
once you're,
you know,
at the top of your game,
it's kind of like Johnny Carson.
I just wanted to step aside
while you're on top.
I wanted to let the fresh blood
come in and sort of take it over.
You know what that's like.
Yeah.
And you wanted to spend
some time shopping
for hair pieces, I guess.
Some of that free time here.
It was a barb, wasn't it?
Yeah, it sure was.
Spin Doctors,
we'll be here later.
Christopher Walken,
and we have with us tonight
a former ring boy
for the World Wrestling Federation,
Chris Elliott.
Chris, thank you very much.
I didn't think you remembered.
That's lovely.
Yeah, you do look
much different to me
than I last saw you
either here or on your show.
I don't know what your deal is with this.
It's just I was out in this.
You're a little lighter.
Your hair is lighter.
Yeah, it's a little.
You get a lot more
than you used to have.
I was out in the sun.
Yeah.
It's a little highlight-y, I guess.
Yeah.
But I think that's just about it.
By the way,
how's Minoxidil doing with you?
I don't use Minoxidil.
I have a full head of my own hair.
But now I heard
that you were using it
and it gave you a rash
and then you had to go to bed
with a shower cap
filled with medicated cream.
Yeah.
Is that true?
I do that,
but it has nothing to do
with Minoxidil.
Sometimes it's a shower cap
full of party dip.
Stop.
I'm going to take that barb out.
It's another barb.
I'm going to save this barb.
So what else is going on?
What have you been doing?
What's new?
Can I tell you something else?
Please do.
Since I'm out here
and I have the time.
And the rented tuxedo.
You're a regular pin cushion
tonight, aren't you?
I'm going to try
to work up one for you.
I've got to tell you,
your show still gets,
I know there's a lot
of other talk shows out there,
and your show still gets
the best guests.
Oh, sure.
And I haven't really...
I've got to tell you,
my wife and I...
The possible exception
of this evening,
I suppose,
you were right there.
That one went right over me.
My wife and I
were watching last night.
How is your lovely wife?
She's doing fine.
Please, give her my best.
I actually haven't seen her
in many years.
And we were watching,
and what is the deal
between you and Max Headroom?
You guys,
you boogers,
really go at it there.
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
I don't understand
what he is.
Is he a puppet
or is he a machine?
I don't know.
A toy?
I don't know.
Well, one thing...
All right, I'll tell you what,
let's just wrap this up now.
Well, I'll tell you right now.
Before I do,
let me just...
I have something
I'd like to give you.
I know that you're not,
you know,
the most outwardly
emotional person.
We all know that.
But this is something
all the kids are wearing
on the street.
Certainly not in your case.
Maybe I'd like to give you this.
This is a kiss hat,
and I don't know exactly
which tree to put that to
because everything
is love nowadays.
And I tried to get you
the one with the hug on it,
with the circle,
but they didn't have that.
They just had the kisses.
That's great.
You wear that.
Yeah.
Thank you.
That's very nice of you.
Yeah, thank you very much.
The man I bought it from,
well, he was rather agitated
with me,
and he called me a few names.
Well, I certainly appreciate it.
Yeah, this is great.
Thank you very much.
Well, there you go.
That's a kiss from me to you.
Yeah, all right.
Well, that's good.
Certainly close enough.
Oh, man,
this looks like
somebody's really bad dream,
doesn't it?
You and me.
Let's see.
Is that it?
Are you got anything else
you want to mention?
No, that's it.
All right, Chris,
always a pleasure to have you.
You're having a great summer.
Chris Elliott,
ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back.