Name: Harrison Ford Was In "Leave It To Beaver"...Or Was He? | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-06-29T22:00:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Harrison Ford Was In "Leave It To Beaver"...Or Was He? | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Harrison Ford Was In "Leave It To Beaver"...Or Was He? | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-29. Transcript available.

You know, Harrison, I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate you being
on the show.
I'm very, very excited to have you with us. Thank you so much.
Pleasure to be here, Dave.
Now, you know the movie, Sabrina?
The plot is about two men, in this case happen to be brothers,
who are interested in the same woman.
Right.
Yeah. And I'm just thinking to myself, kind of a funny thing occurred to me.
I wonder what would happen if you and I were kind of in that role competing for
the same woman.
I wonder what would happen. You know what I'm saying?
Well, why don't we find out?
All right, great.
Why don't we ask them?
Oh, yeah. One of my assistants, Casey.
Hi.
Casey, how are you?
Good.
Go on, you ask her.
All right. Well, what do you think between Harrison and myself?
Well, Dave is my boss.
Right.
But I'd have to say Harrison.
Absolutely. No doubt I'm going to say Harrison.
Yeah, but that's not fair because she knows me.
Listen now to the list of this film, so I'm going to read it off here.
Just listen to this and consider each of these as you hear them.
American Graffiti, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark,
Witness, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Fugitive, Patriot Games, and
now Sabrina.
And that's not his entire list of films, but my gosh, what an impressive film.
And now, of course, Sabrina, which opens tomorrow.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the biggest box office star in the world,
Harrison Ford.
I'll take that.
Thank you very much.
Welcome to the show, Harrison.
It's nice to see you.
It's a thrill to be back.
Now, let's talk about that for a second.
Please enjoy your complimentary beverage.
Okay.
The last time you were on this show, this show was at another network, and it
was about six or seven years ago.
It was steam-driven, as I remember.
Yeah.
And we have been, you know, clamoring, chomping at the bit, as they say in the
bit business, to try and get you back as a guest.
Have you?
Yes.
Well, no one told me.
I find that hard to believe.
Have you been avoiding us?
No, no, no.
I'm thrilled to be here.
I would have been, you know, I have a lot of evenings where really nothing very
important is going on.
I would have been here if I had known that you cared.
We do.
We cared desperately.
Well, I'm glad you found the time in your schedule to be here today.
You know what I like about you?
And I don't know you well as a person, but I feel I know you from watching your
various roles on screen.
What I like about you, you're always cool.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Now, when you approach a role like that, any role, do you think to yourself, I've
got to be cool, whatever happens, I'm always going to be cool.
Is that kind of your acting operandi?
Yeah, that's it.
Got to be cool, nothing more than that, just got to be cool.
I thought I knew that.
Now, this movie, this is more to it than that, Dave.
Yeah, no, I understand.
I understand.
But with everything else that's going on in your head to remain cool, that
tells me that as a guy, you actually are cool.
I'm acting cool.
You're acting cool.
That's acting.
Well, that's just as good.
But this film, Sabrina, is regarded as somewhat, if not completely, a classic
motion picture.
The original.
The old one.
Yeah, with William Holden, Humphrey Bogart, and Audrey Hepburn, and on and on
and on.
This is a tough group to follow, isn't it?
Were you nervous about embarking on this project?
No.
No.
Well, it was a long time ago.
Yeah.
You know?
And we were going to remake a story, which I thought was a good story, and with
different people.
Yeah.
So it's going to be a different movie.
Yeah, but you know, obviously, people are going to say, okay, he's playing the
Humphrey Bogart role.
Greg Kinnear is playing the William Holden role.
So there will be comparisons, of course.
That didn't trouble you at all?
Troubles me now.
Tell us a little bit about your, tell us, you know, I've never been to Wyoming.
You have a home in Wyoming.
You live there, I don't know, most of the year, part of the year.
What is life like in Wyoming?
Tell us about that state and the experience of living there.
It's quiet.
It's beautiful.
You know, we have this nice piece of property with a lot of wildlife.
How much property do you have?
I mean, acres.
You have seven acres?
Is that what you're saying?
I've never needed acres.
You've got a seven-acre ranch.
No, we have, it's a nice piece of land.
And is it out in the wilderness?
It's towards the edge of town.
It's remarkably close to town and still feels like wilderness.
Are you near mountains, in the Tetons?
You can see mountains.
And what do you do when you're there?
Do you have horses?
Yes.
Do you get on the horses and go riding and play cowboy?
I get on the horses and, well, I don't play cowboy.
You mean, like, with the hat and the pistols?
Yeah, a little outfit.
Sure.
You and your wife dress up like Roy and Dale.
That's, you know, none of that goes on.
No, I like to ride.
I like to walk in the woods.
You must be good for the soul, good for the head to be in an area like that.
Do you go fishing?
Do you go hunting?
Yeah, I fish a little bit, but I don't hunt.
No?
No.
And do wild...
Do wild animals...
Poison stuff.
No, no, no.
Do wild animals come down onto your property?
Yeah, they live there.
Yeah?
They were there before us.
What kind of animals do you see on a regular basis?
Deer, elk, coyote, all kinds of goats.
Yeah, you get any goats?
You could have goats out there, couldn't you?
You could have goats.
No, I've never seen a goat there.
I tell you what, I'll send you a goat.
You know what?
Start a little petting zoo.
You would.
No.
Well, no, I mean, what am I going to do with a poor goat?
But I would think that there might be wild goats out there.
Don't send me.
No, all right, you won't get a goat from me.
Okay, fine.
Now, you know, Harrison, there's a book.
I have a copy of this book right here, by the way.
This is a contemporary theater film and television.
And it tells...
Looks serious.
All about movies and television and everybody who was in television shows.
And there's a listing in here under your biography that says you were on an old
episode of Leave
It to Beaver.
As a child, you were an actor on Leave It to Beaver.
Now, I want you to consider that.
Just consider that, and when we come back, we'll get a little deeper into this
issue, all
right?
Okay.
All right, we'll be right back here with Harrison Ford.
Indiana Jones returns, and this time, he's bringing his dad.
Junior?
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
I like Indiana.
We're named the dog, Indiana.
Rated PG-13.
Starts Wednesday, May 24th.
Harrison Ford, Bonnie Hunt, and Bruce Springsteen.
All right, Harrison, here it is, a contemporary theater, film, and television.
There's a nice picture of you right there.
And on the other page is Beth Fowler, who's doing quite well for herself.
It says right here, among credits, this, that, you appeared on the show, so on,
so on,
so on.
1958, Chester Anderson, Leave It to Beaver.
You played Chester Anderson on Leave It to Beaver, I don't remember.
No, I didn't.
It's right there in the book.
No, I didn't, Dave.
You were not on Leave It to Beaver?
No, that's wrong.
Really?
Yeah.
The big book here of theater and movie actors?
Wrong.
Well, we have a little clip of that particular episode of Leave It to Beaver.
So now, I'm not, you know, I'm not saying you're lying.
I'm just saying we have some old videotape, old film of Leave It to Beaver
where you are,
or maybe not, Chester Anderson.
That's right.
Roll it.
Leave It to Beaver, Chester Anderson, Harrison Ford.
Like a pick-me-up?
Is that the same junk you're selling before?
No.
This is different.
Oh, well.
Say, it's not too sweet, is it?
No.
Well, I bought some.
How much is it?
Well, I sent you a big one.
Okay.
There you go.
Now, is that?
L-E-L-E-T-T.
I'm not in there, Harrison.
L-E-T-T.
No, you're wasting valuable time.
I'm not.
I was never on Leave It to Beaver.
No, no.
No, but now.
Is that you there or not you?
That's not me.
That's not you?
Let's see.
Put up the split screen here and let's see if that, in fact, Chester Anderson.
It's not even close.
That's not me.
It's not even close.
No.
All right, let's go back to Sabrina, which opens tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm in that.
You're in that.
I'm in that.
I don't deny it.
Julia Ormond is in that.
Yeah.
Lovely woman and a fine actress.
Lovely woman and a fine actress.
And Greg Kinnear.
Who?
Greg Kinnear.
Who?
You know, he has a talk show of his own.
Yeah.
And he's very successfully now become a movie star, perhaps, actor.
No, no, you're confused.
A talk show host can't be an actor.
Well, no, I mean, they're mutually exclusive categories.
Did you happen to see me in Cabin Boy?
My point exactly.
Let's show the folks a little bit of Sabrina.
It looks like a terrific piece of work.
Well, you're very kind.
Thank you.
This was directed by Sidney Pollack.
Sidney Pollack.
Very, very talented man.
Very talented.
Do you know what the clip is we're going to look at here, Harrison?
No, I haven't a clue, David.
Oh, my.
Oh, my.
You could have read up in the cab coming over.
It is, I believe, it's the scene with you and Greg Kinnear, I believe.
Oh, good.
All right, here we go.
A couple of seconds from the soon-to-open motion picture Sabrina.
Here you go.
It's an excellent, excellent film.
It's funny.
A lovely romantic comedy.
Thank you.
It's a real pleasure to have you here with us.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Now, can you come back sooner than the last time?
Please do.
Yeah.
It would mean a great deal if you could come back every now and then.
I'm not saying every night, for heaven's sakes.
No, no, no, no.
Just, you know, whenever you feel like it.
Wednesdays, maybe.
All right, good.
Thank you very much, Harrison.
Nice to see you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Transcription by CastingWords