Name: Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From A Gas Station Attendant | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-07-03T15:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From A Gas Station Attendant | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From A Gas Station Attendant | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-03. Transcript available.

Tonight's top ten list is brought to you by new miracle hair remover, Apple
Stop and Spray.
Hi, I'm Alan Coulter, Dave Letterman's stooge announcer.
You know, a while back I was saying to myself, Alan, what's the problem?
I mean, you're good looking, you have a fantastic personality, and you're hung
like a mule.
How come you can't get the hot babes to put out?
Well, recently a friend said to me, Alan, maybe it's your really hairy back.
Have you tried Apple Stop and Spray?
Here, take a look at this home video.
Look, the hair just melts away!
And the good news is my back hair is gone, and the babes are on me like a half-price
carnival ride.
Thank you, Apple Stop and Spray.
It worked for me, it'll work for you.
Apple Stop and Spray.
Now back to you, Dave.
Thank you very much, Alan.
Man of the year.
Yeah, I'm proud of you.
The Tri-State Stouts named him Man of the Year.
They took up a collection.
Yeah.
The category tonight, top ten things you don't want to hear from a gas station
attendant.
Well, this is the time when you go to a lot of gas stations to be driving
around, and gas prices are crazy, up and down, and so forth.
So you spend a lot of time at the gas station.
Ah.
Top ten things you don't want to hear from a gas station attendant.
Okay.
All right, ready?
Okay, here we go.
Number ten.
Hope you don't mind, I just took a leak in your tank.
That's right.
Just took a leak in your tank.
You don't want to hear that.
Number nine.
You do know there's a guy hiding in your back seat, don't you?
Number eight.
Sometimes I have the strangest feeling I'm about to burst into flames.
Number seven.
A regular premium orange flavor.
Top ten things you don't want to hear from your gas station attendant.
Number six.
You know, if a guy breathes enough fumes, someone like you starts to look
pretty good.
You don't want to hear that.
You don't want to hear that.
Number five.
Soda machine was on the fritz today.
I had to drink a quarter of Quaker State with my lunch.
Yeah.
Number four.
Does this uniform make me look pretty?
Number three.
This is my car.
You stole my car.
Number two.
I'll check under your hood if you check under my belt.
Hey, hey, easy.
You don't want to hear that.
I said that.
And the number one thing you don't want to hear from a gas station attendant.
Want to make out in the back seat?
You don't want to hear it.
You don't want to hear it.
You don't want to hear it.
You don't want to hear it.
You don't want to hear it.
You don't want to hear it.
You don't want to hear it.
You don't want to hear it.
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