Name: Greta Gerwig Used To Start Bar Fights For Money | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-07-19T15:20:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Greta Gerwig Used To Start Bar Fights For Money | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Greta Gerwig Used To Start Bar Fights For Money | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-19. Transcript available.

Next guest is a talented actress starring in a new film entitled No Strings Attached.
You can see it in theaters beginning Friday.
Here's the lovely Greta Gerwig, ladies and gentlemen.
Nice to have you on the show.
I'm so happy to be here.
Well, we're happy to have you here.
I like your dress.
Oh, thank you.
Tell me about yourself, originally in Sacramento.
Yes, I grew up in Sacramento my whole life.
My parents are still there, but I went to college in New York.
I was always dreaming about the big city.
Where did you go to school?
Oh, I went to Barnard College for women.
See, that's pretty impressive right there.
Yeah.
What did you study at Barnard?
I studied English literature with a concentration in theater and philosophy.
And like so many people who come to the city, they have to find ways to support
themselves,
even when they're in college, when they get out of college.
Did you have odd jobs early on?
Yes.
Well, I was an SAT tutor.
I was a nanny.
And I was kind of a kid who was paid to go to clubs and make trouble.
Okay.
Let's go down the list.
SAT tutor.
I think that's self-explanatory.
Right.
All right.
Nanny, how did that work out?
Nanny was mostly good.
There were sometimes you'd go to an interview for a nanny job and it would just
be kind of
clear that the guy wanted to date you because he'd ask me things like, tell me
all your favorite
things that I could buy for you.
And then I would not go to those jobs.
Yeah.
So the guy is there, is his wife there, the mother of the kid there?
Do you meet the kid?
No, yeah, I eventually met the kid and then the guy left and the kid was hungry
and he
wanted me to read to him and play a game with him while he was watching TV and
make him a
snack.
Yeah.
But they didn't have anything in the house except for Evian water.
So I had this starving, like, ADD child on my hands.
Wow.
It's tough.
I mean, it really is tough.
But what does it say about parenting today?
If the guy, what kind of a stooge is that?
I don't know.
He's just one of those Wall Street tapes.
Did you ever say to your...
Okay.
So now the third...
The third category, I don't know that I understand.
What was that again?
You go to bars and make trouble.
Well...
That sounds like a biker.
I was part of...
I'm not a lesbian.
I love lesbians, though.
But I was part of...
You know, I'm with you on that.
I'm not a lesbian.
But I'm crazy about lesbians.
Crazy about them.
Yeah.
But I was part of a lesbian performance art group.
And we would go make trouble at fancy bars so that the people would feel like
they're having
a real downtown experience.
Now, when you say trouble, what does it mean exactly?
Like starting fights with patrons and getting rowdy and maybe getting thrown
out, but accidentally
on purpose.
Yeah.
But I was too self-conscious to get drunk and really do it.
So I would just like kind of feel, ha, this is our 20s.
Now, I've never heard of anything quite like this as a career or even as a job.
No.
But so you would go into like a bar.
Yeah.
Now, would the bar know you're coming in?
Yeah, yeah.
We'd get paid.
Yeah.
And you'd start trouble.
And then the patrons would, oh, God, look out.
Here come the lesbians.
No.
Yeah.
Watch it.
Hey, you better watch it.
The lesbians are here.
Yeah.
They would be like, bring me another bottle of Stoli and what a crazy night are
we having.
Yeah.
Like.
And famous people involved?
Yeah, there were a couple of famous people involved.
One time, one of my lesbian performance art partners started a fight with
Laurence Fishburne.
Actor?
Yes.
Which I was, I thought we were going to lose.
I was sure of it.
So I pulled.
Sort of a fight.
Was she throw a punch at the guy?
No, she like drank straight from his bottle at his table and kind of blustered
in his general direction.
Sort of taunting him.
Here, what are you going to do?
I'm a lesbian.
Take that.
What are you going to?
It's like, like, I'm going to steal your dog.
Yeah.
Right.
Wow.
I, um, I want you to come back because I think we're just scratching the
surface here.
I want to know everything about this job.
How long did you have this position?
Oh, it was only, it was like a six month stint.
And then I eventually started getting paid for acting.
Whereas before I would just make movies because no one else would hire me.
So I just made my own.
Well, you're in a movie that opens Friday.
And who is the cast in this?
This is with Ashton Kutcher and, and, oh, why can't I, and Natalie Portman.
Yes.
Yeah.
Um, you want to show a clip here?
Yes.
No strings attached.
What are we going to see, Greta?
Um, this is, uh, Ashton Kutcher waking up in my apartment.
Okay.
Here we go.
And then the fun begins.
It's no strings attached.
Greta, a great pleasure to meet you.
So, uh...
Congratulations on your career.
Thank you.
Wonderful to meet you.
Thank you for being here.
Nice meeting you.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen, with Darius Rucker.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen, with Darius Rucker.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.