Name: Stupid Human Tricks: The One Man Food Fight | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-08-22T22:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stupid Human Tricks: The One Man Food Fight | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stupid Human Tricks: The One Man Food Fight | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-22. Transcript available.

It's time now, ladies and gentlemen, for something we haven't done in quite
some time.
It's called Stupid Human Tricks, and we have people from all over North America,
and they have silly little oddity, peculiar things that they've taught
themselves to do,
and they're going to come out here and make us all sick.
No, no.
They're going to come out and be entertaining and cordial.
This is only an exhibition.
This is, how does that go?
Is there wagering on this?
No wagering.
There is wagering.
No, there's no wagering.
There is no wagering.
Only an exhibition.
No wagering.
That's right, no wagering.
So, let's get on with it.
Is there a Mr. Campbell Bromberg, a man with two last names?
That's pretty unusual right there, isn't it?
Mr. Campbell?
How are you?
Is that right?
You're Campbell Bromberg?
Yes.
That's a very, very important-sounding name, isn't it?
Yeah.
Where are you from, Campbell?
Texas.
What part of Texas?
Well, it's a very big state.
It's no wonder.
Are you from Dallas?
Dallas.
Dallas.
All right.
What a stroke of luck that I hit it on the very first one, because...
How old are you, Campbell?
Seven.
Seven years old, and I'm guessing you're about in the first or second grade?
First.
Okay, first grade.
And you're going to do a little something for us tonight that's kind of silly
then, isn't it?
All right.
Do you need a drum roll?
Do you need some help?
Just do it by yourself.
Okay.
Here is Campbell Bromberg, and he's...
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's...
That's what they're teaching them down there in the Lone Star State.
He's going to have an aneurysm by the time he's 14 from doing that.
How did you learn to do that?
From my brother.
From your brother.
Don't let Howie Mandel see you doing that.
Let's take a look at this amazing feat here in slow motion on the instant
replay.
Nice meeting you, Campbell.
Thank you very much.
Enjoy your stay in New York City.
Bye-bye.
So, the kid puts a balloon in his nose.
Yeah.
Our next participant here tonight is Peter Ross.
Peter, are you back there somewhere?
Hi, Peter.
Nice to see you, sir.
And where are you from, Peter?
From New Jersey, Ridgewood.
Uh-huh.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a broker.
Mm-hmm.
And you've taught yourself something goofy here to do?
Yeah.
Well, what is this?
Playing on my back while singing.
You're going to play this organ on your back.
So, you're actually playing it upside down then, I'm guessing.
Exactly.
Okay.
All right.
You need some help from Paul and the guys on the band?
If they would like to join in.
What do you think, Paul?
Let's see how it goes.
Okay.
All right.
Have you ever seen anybody do something like this, Paul?
There was a man in France who used to do it back in the day.
No, I've never seen this.
All right.
Peter Ross, a broker, will do whatever he does here with the organ, and then we'll
take a look at it.
Remember, no wagering, ladies and gentlemen.
All right.
I think I'll get a cab.
Uh-oh.
It's not on.
The organ's not on?
Yeah.
Paul, can you use your organ?
I wouldn't touch that.
Is it going to...
I'm working now?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, like that's going to make all the...
Felix the cat, the wonderful, wonderful cat.
Whenever he gets it a fix, he reaches into his bag of tricks.
Felix the cat.
The wonderful, wonderful cat.
You'll laugh so hard.
Your sides will ache.
Your heart will go pitter-pan.
Watching Felix the wonderful cat.
Thank you, Peter Ross, it's ideal for weddings and funerals, don't you think?
Let's take a look here at the replay of this on our...
Pretty much the same as it was the first time we saw it.
Thank you very much, Peter.
Nice meeting you.
Appreciate your help tonight.
Peter Ross.
Ladies and gentlemen, Peter Ross.
And finally, is there a Bob Forthin?
Mr. Forthin.
Bob Forthin.
Hi, Bob.
How are you?
Is it Forthin?
Forthin.
Nice to see you.
Where are you from, Bob?
San Diego.
San Diego.
Great town, San Diego.
I love it.
I spent a lot of time down there when I was much younger and I had a great time.
Yeah, Red Skelton was in San Diego the other day.
He said, say hi to you.
I don't know if you know him or not.
Well, I've never met him, but I appreciate that.
He said he went to school with you, but he's a little old.
Okay, Bob, what are you going to do for us here tonight?
Well, I'm going to do a portion of what's called a one-man food fight, Dave.
A one-man food fight.
I'm going to do just the portion, just the grand finale, which is smashing a 24-pound
watermelon.
What do you do for living in San Diego?
I am an outdoor education teacher.
I teach kids outdoor education of environmental sciences.
Oh, well, that's a worthy thing to be doing, don't you think?
Yeah, for sure.
Okay.
And you're going to hear now a one-man food fight.
And you have, go ahead, let's bring that out.
You want a drum roll or something, Bob?
If I can know that, sure.
Anton, do you want to?
Is that all we need?
That's all we need.
This is it.
And you better get out of the way.
And remember, he teaches kids.
Okay, go ahead, Bob.
Bob, four, three, one-man food fight.
You've got seeds in your nose, don't you?
Yeah.
Sure, Mr. Big Shot, you've got seeds in your nose.
Let's take a look at this carnage again, huh, kids?
Oh, my God.
Doesn't...
Oh, jeez.
Oh, God.
Thank you very much, Bob.
Nice meeting you.
Appreciate the trouble.
Mmm.
Mmm.