Name: Siskel & Ebert On Disney: Thumbs Up Or Down? | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-08-23T15:00:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Siskel & Ebert On Disney: Thumbs Up Or Down? | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Siskel & Ebert On Disney: Thumbs Up Or Down? | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-23. Transcript available.

for more than 20 years our first guests have confused moviegoers with their
cryptic thumbs
up thumbs down what the hell does that mean here now to usher in the summer
blockbuster film season
please welcome the lovely the talented siskel and ebert nice to have here you
know jackass
you're on a hidden camera excellent excellent you guys worked that out ahead of
time i appreciate
that happy birthday thank you can we tell the folks how old the men you are uh
39. no yes 55 55 yes
you guys have a little party a little soiree a little celebration i had no
party for roger at
all there was no party i gave him a piece of my cake that's nice did you give
him anything as a
gift i gave him absolutely nothing why now why you should you should do
something i give him something
every wednesday my presence his paycheck isn't that sweet i was waiting for him
to take me
to a bulls game but no luck i saw biff there he was quite yeah we saw you as a
matter of fact there
yeah chicago yeah it was a thrilling day he is the jack nicholson of chicago
you know i'm not that good
an actor hey hey i got questions here um it just occurred to me somebody called
this to my attention
that your show the show that you guys uh own and operate or run or whatever
your movie review show
is in fact produced by disney produced by disney sleepy yeah we were certainly
hoping you would bring
that up tonight but ah it's not hidden camera all right look they're not they're
everywhere there we
haven't but so now do you have any sort of creative editorial autonomy or are
you under the thumb of
the mouse well i just dumped all over hercules yeah hercules uh is out and i
knocked it so i would
think that would gene was incorrect in doing that i think it's a wonderful you
thought it was a pretty
good man yeah he's mike elizner's favorite dwarf now he's a little kissy to me
calling me a dwarf
we've at least given more thumbs down than thumbs up to disney pictures over
the years but now
seriously this raises an interesting question is there some sort of policy have
you had a meeting
was there a memo arms length arms length they stay away from us we don't talk
to them our whole show is
based on our credibility that was screwed up well that's right but that makes
me wonder now you have
to work extra hard to prove it no to protect that to protect that not to prove
it we just tell the
truth we've been doing it for a long time that's what we do gene didn't like
hercules he said so
yeah but but it must it rankle you does it rankle you doesn't it irritate you
yes rankle and irritate
that disney is co-opting and usurping american culture doesn't it just drive
you nuts that everything's
got to be disney i like the parks i do i do like the parks action park in new
jersey no that's damn
good go over there get the water slides get the go-kart tracks that's good
american entertainment
they don't have kids in costumes hey i like the uh you know some of the indiana
state fair i mean i
like that stuff but you know what state was that again the indiana indiana i'll
tell you it disturbs
me a little bit that's a big state that disturbs me a little bit that now times
square which used
to be sort of indigenous to this city you know i'm not saying it was good it
was probably not good but
at least it was indigenous to this city it was of this city and now you know
all of a sudden it's like
an e-ticket or something isn't there someplace else in some place else you can
go and find sleaze we're
hoping the sleeves will move into the theater here but you know you know what i'm
talking about
everything's now synthetic everything's plastic everything's you know we have
nothing real our
show is still real and it's very sleazy hey uh let's talk about the big blockbusters
we've already
taken care of hercules yeah i thought the animation was weak i thought that um
the whole character of
zeus was boring compared to king triton and the little mermaid you know paul
schaefer has a part
you're an adult paul schaefer how about the character how about the character
of hermes though
wasn't he did you like paul's uh efforts i thought it was like paul in person
much better than paul
listen i thought it was a terrifically entertaining movie it had a good look to
it
i enjoyed it i mean when he's comparing triton to zeus they don't perform the
same function
it's just a cartoon that's all it is it's just a cartoon that's all i call it
it's the cartoon
i'm not i'm not going i'm 50 i ain't going to spend two hours watching a
cartoon well they made
some good ones this is hey hey i want to tell you something get ready this is
the one get ready hang
on to your wigs and keys this is going to be the one top land haven't seen it
oh and i saw the uh
previews of it i saw i saw that well i didn't go to can but you saw the uh i
saw the half hour thing did
you hear that is it true that they had to reshoot some of it and stallone
wouldn't put the weight
back on i heard that anyway i don't know if it's true you're asking me i don't
know i don't have any
idea either how do i know this i'm over here ron you get the newsletters for
god's sake i tried to
judge them after i've seen the whole picture i don't know you liked what you
saw oh man didn't you
like what you saw i couldn't judge without having seen the whole film i'm a
professional how about
let's get into the movies that people can see batman no wait a minute wait a
minute wait a minute but
it'll be out but the thing that i liked about it you got harvey keitel playing
playing a bad cop so you know
we know we've seen this before we know it you have uh uh what's his name de niro
a guy with a toupee
we've seen we've seen that character before uh we have ray liotta yeah hothead
yeah we've seen that
before so it's like all our old friends are making another movie well but stallone
plays a different
character he plays a fat sheriff i think that's kind of a great career i think
this is going to be the
movie of the summer well it's going to come out it's got to be better than batman
i don't know anything
i'm so dumb maybe it'll be the movie it'll be the movie of the summer in australia
yeah well no it'd be spring in australia it's close at least i'm lateral
thinking crazy weather
what about batman and robin is also not good dave batman and robin gene are you
trying to get the
subject around of batman and robin somehow back to movies that people cannot
see no the i quit going
to see the batman movies when michael keaton stepped down as bad man you didn't
like val kilmer
i said what did i say i said i quit going to see the movies did you have a bad
experience
with val kilmer on the show i had no bad experience i just thought okay i went
to see the movie and i
paid my money i said yeah great michael keaton i know michael keaton he's batman
did you see both
of the michael keaton pictures yeah yeah which one did you like the best i
think i liked the first one a
little bit first one a little bit better right yeah but i liked i thought michael
keaton was your best
batman and i said okay there's batman i don't think i don't think it makes oh
it doesn't make
the slightest bit of difference who plays batman they just cast for the chin
well that's right
batman is not interesting in any of the movies compared to the villains it's
gotten too big and
the crazy exactly that's the problem with american movies in a nutshell which
is that everything is too
much action they're much more comfortable making special effects than they are
dialogue they don't know
how to write anymore let's go through a couple of these julia roberts picture
yeah she was here last
night i like julia roberts picture my best friend's wedding is a well-written
script by ronald bass
who won an oscar for rain man he's a fine writer he writes smart characters so
most of the characters
are dumbed down in american movies she was on the show last night and i wanted
to do well because i'm
hoping she'll think i had something to do with it oh you probably were
instrumental change your name to
ronald bass the nice thing about the movie is it doesn't end any way at all the
way you think it
will right everybody gets many comedies you think you know in the first well if
it stars uh julia
roberts you figure she's going to end up happily married and i won't give away
the ending
you know except they kill the shark is what happens they kill the shark uh all
right con air it's
amazing when she dives into that tank you know on air the big blockbuster of
the summer all about a
hairdryer have you heard that no good for you i've been i've been saving that
for you that was a good
picture yeah nicholas cage and john john malkovich john malkovich without a
doubt is the best
psycho creep working today don't you think he plays it he plays it seriously
and he plays it low-key and
he has that literate dialogue i wonder if he writes some of his own dialogue
maybe he does he's a bright
man he's a bright man he's kind of the worst killer in history he's good too
and he's just love your
work yeah did you did you like him in in the in the clint eastwood movie in the
line of fire oh he was
good in that one together yeah that was creepy i like that best uh psycho
creepy psycho working today
speed two cruise control this makes no sense i thought that was fun too the
cruise ship out of
control at what eight eight knots oh run for your lives nobody you know have
you seen it none of the
people they run out of shrimp it's a real disaster i liked it i liked it but
the sailors don't see
a giant ocean liner until it's three feet they look up it's as close as that
camera but what happened
oh my god it's an ocean liner they didn't see it coming why can't they jump off
why can't they jump
off well they do jump off oh they finally do jump off because they had that
breakneck eight
mile an hour do you know anything at all about computers david no nothing at
all i don't know
anything about well this one has a villain in it willem defoe who has a
computer and at one point
the computer on the screen it says when to detonate right right and he types in
now yeah you don't
know anything about computers i know nothing what would the computer do with
that i don't know is it now
now or now or is it now or when is now all right a computer wouldn't know what
now meant all i know
is i laughed and laughed when i saw that and nobody else in the theater laughed
nobody here laughed you
don't get it this is not a hidden camera you're on national television with
that story listen if
there's anybody out there who knows anything about computers that's very funny
we're really late let
me see what we're doing really for mike douglas if he comes back like a long
time to explain it what
mike douglas he comes he's coming back he's dead mike douglas is dead no he's
not dead merv griffin
oh okay
i can see they wouldn't be interested either hey you know what i like i like
that fifth element with bruce
willis i thought that was pretty good to look at and how about the woman in
that film it was peculiar
yeah wasn't she excited i don't remember was she yes the one who was wearing
the kind of ace bandage
for the body okay all right very exciting one more oh oh contact uh uh with jody
foster where
she builds a spaceship she doesn't build it yes she does well they fax her the
aliens fax her the
plans yes they fax her the plans they send it with a radio telescope they fax
are the plans for a
spaceship and she builds it where did you get this information we saw the movie
she was now you know
jody foster was now i know she was well we gotta go we're very late we're very
late happy birthday
always a pleasure gene happy birthday congratulations to you and the bulls we'll
be right back