Name: Brian Regan Has A Brilliant New Invention | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-08-25T22:00:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Brian Regan Has A Brilliant New Invention | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Brian Regan Has A Brilliant New Invention | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-25. Transcript available.

here we go this guy this guy's very funny we're always happy and uh lucky to
have him on the show
he's a very funny man he'll be performing april 24th through the 27th at caroline's
comedy club
you can just see it out the you open the door you can see it down this right it's
right here yeah
uh please welcome back to the late show ladies and gentlemen brian reagan
thank you wow thank you very much i was uh driving the other day and i came
upon a truck pulling a
horse trailer with a sign on the back caution transporting show horses oh oh
ten and two
we're sharing the road with show horses if i start to lose control i'll hit one
of these cars with people
or at least a trailer with just plain old horses but those horses they gotta
put on a show
then i came upon another truck pulling a trailer with a sign in the back relax
just dumb old donkeys
i was crossing the yellow line boom boom boom boom who cares just dumb old donkeys
they ain't in show business
you need to concern yourself with it
hey you know who i feel bad for arab americans who truly want to get into crop
dusting
could be their lifelong dream every time they ask for a pamphlet all hell
breaks loose
i'd like some information on crop dusting and let me guess you need to make a
phone call
i've been through the rigamarole
i had my own little weird thing they just convicted an american of espionage
and they threw him in jail for
the rest of his life and his name is my name brian reagan i'm not making this
up the trial started i
knew nothing about this guy i'm half paying attention to the news i'm doing a
crossword puzzle and i hear
it's unclear whether the charges against brian reagan will lead to his
execution
i guess i can set this down here focus in on this news blurb
honey did we pay that parking ticket
we parked kind of murky and we weren't sure if that was going to be okay well
as it turns out
it's weird man i mean i'm just trying to figure out things to do i don't i'm
trying to get into
inventing and uh that's hard first of all you got to think of stuff
i'm working on an invention right now and i don't know if i'm being overly
ambitious but i'm
i'm trying to invent an ironing board that when you open it it doesn't sound
like this
every ironing board i've ever opened sounds like a witch being boiled in oil
you ever just look at an iron and an ironing board can you imagine getting that
approved in
today's safety conscious world what did you want to get an approval on um i
call it an iron and an
ironing board i want to have like a surfboard shaped device about this high and
i want to support it with
two thin crisscrossing poles so the center of gravity is precariously high so
the the slightest
nudge would be sure to topple it then i want to put a big hot metal thing on
the top of that
with water water the temperature of lava oozing out the sides and dripping off
the board for burn wounds
i want one side to be a white hot heat for scarring i want the sheer weight to
be able to cause blunt
force trauma and i want the whole thing to come to a point for puncture wounds
it just seems a little unsafe for adults i'm not finished i want a wire coming
down so you get the
toddlers involved thank you very much
ryan regan everybody we'll be right back with the exes
We'll be right back.