Name: Dave's First Monologue & Top Ten At CBS | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-08-30T15:00:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's First Monologue & Top Ten At CBS | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's First Monologue & Top Ten At CBS | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-30. Transcript available.

This is CBS!
From the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City,
it's The Late Show with David Letterman!
Tonight, Bill Murray and Billy Joel!
Plus, Paul Schaefer and the CBS Orchestra!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
The Late Show with David Letterman!
You folks are now in a part of television and entertainment history here in the
Ed Sullivan Theater.
It's a marvelous, wonderful edifice, and we couldn't be happier to be here.
And I'm telling you something, there is a palpable sense of history here.
And a couple of weeks ago, the construction people were finishing up the
renovation on the building,
and they busted through a wall downstairs, and they found a 45-year-old woman
still down there
screaming Ringo.
It's unbelievable.
I have no idea what that was.
You know, every time you applaud that like that, it makes me feel I may have
won a Tony.
Thank you.
Other than that, I had a pretty good summer, kind of relaxing.
I think I must have gone two months without saying "Buttafuoco."
So I'm resting, ready to go.
What?
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my goodness!
From the NBC Nightly News, it's our old friend, Tom Brokaw.
Dave, big night for you.
I wanted to come across the street and say hello and, you know, wish you well,
wish you
reasonably well.
But I'm a little shocked, frankly.
Dave, I'm kind of disappointed.
The fact is, these last two jokes are the intellectual property of NBC.
Who would have thought you would ever hear the words intellectual property and
NBC in the same sentence?
It's stunning, isn't it?
Well, how are you?
Good to see you.
Thank you, Paul Newman.
Welcome to the program, Paul.
Thank you very much for dropping by.
Where the hell are the singing cats?
Oh, no.
This is not cats.
This is my TV show.
I'm in the wrong theater.
Oh.
She's well written.
Fair enough.
Thanks, Paul.
You know, I like, I like two things about that.
Paul has got a thing there that he does that I don't have.
He's standing up.
People are cheering for him and he turns around and he's doing this.
And they go nuts.
And then, and then to me, he says, where the hell are the singing cats?
Well, now you got it.
The spirit of Ed Sullivan drops by and introduces Paul Newman from the studio
audience.
We are lucky, lucky people.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of the night.
It's time now for our top 10 list.
Here we go.
That's about a million bucks right there.
Speaking of a million bucks, Paul Newman looks like a million bucks.
Where the hell are the singing cats?
The category tonight from the home office in Sioux City, Iowa.
Here we go.
Ways.
Top 10 ways the new show will be a lot better.
Here we go.
Number 10.
Kids watch free.
You can't beat that.
Number nine.
No more relying on cheap GE jokes, of course, unless we're really stuck.
Number eight.
My new Rappin' Dave character.
Number seven.
Asbestos particles from renovation makes me extra wacky.
If they applaud really loudly, everyone in tonight's audience gets a brand new
car.
You'll have to do much better than that.
Number five.
No more pressure to book NBC president, Robert C. Wright's son-in-law, Marv
Albert.
Number four.
It's the same show.
Better time, new state.
Oh, for the love of God.
Stop saying that.
Number three.
I'm more focused since my breakup with Lonnie.
Well, it's true.
Sad.
Sad, but true.
Number two.
Every Friday, Paul and I swap medication.
Watch for that.
You'll be glad you did.
And the number one way the new show will be better.
It's a whole new wardrobe for Vanna.
Oh, I could, I could use me some time off.
Paul Newman stands up and says, where the hell are the singing cats?
It's like, it's like a dream come true, but then there's also a little
embarrassing insult connected with it.