Name: Dave's New Ideas For The CBS Show | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-08-30T22:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's New Ideas For The CBS Show | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's New Ideas For The CBS Show | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-30. Transcript available.

You know, when you begin a brand new television program, what you need, your
most valuable
resource, new ideas. And what better way to sample and obtain new ideas than go
right to
Mr. and Mrs. Front Porch. So a couple of weeks ago, we took our camera crew out
to
a lovely community in New Jersey to get new ideas for the brand new show. Roll
it here,
Hal. Hi, how are you? Well, we were talking to people about the television. Do
you have
a second? All right. Thank you. How much television today do you think the
average American watches
on an average? Five? 22 and a half hours a day. That's the average. That's
unbelievable. I have
cable and I get a thousand channels. I get some channels from Mars. What about
wardrobe? Would
you like to see me in a tank top? Sure, why not? Oh, well, thank you very much.
Do you
have any idea who you're talking to now? No, I don't. Oh, that's, that's, I
guess that's
all right. I'm totally embarrassed. No, you shouldn't be embarrassed. No, I'm
Bryant Gumbel.
Oh, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. When you turn on television, would you
like to see
more Norwegians, Mexicans. Oh, don't even start with foreigners with me. Forget
it. Goodbye.
Hexen, Egyptian, Canadian. Hey, are we talking to you? What are we supposed to
do with Mrs.
Abel? I don't know. Who is Mrs. Abel? She's just goofy and she won't shut up. I
gotta see
the outcome of this. You know, we're finished talking to you now. Go back into
your house.
So many talks. You know, we didn't bring that much tape. Okay, thank you. It
was a pleasure
meeting you guys. Yes. Would you like something cold to drink? Claro. You know,
I'll tell you
something. When you talk about foreigners, you know who gives me the willies?
Canadians.
Well, very very. Do they kind of make your skin crawl? I went to school there.
Oh, in Canada.
Oh, so, oh, you're out here, sure, shooting your mouth off about America. Oh,
no, I went for an
advanced hair styling school there. I didn't go to college there. I went to
college in the United States.
You know, the Canadians are very advanced when it comes to hair styling. We're
out here.
It's hot. Hotter than heck. The equipment's overheating. Will you do me a favor
and turn your
hose on the camera? Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm a tree climber. I can't, I couldn't
look up at the sun.
I had bust, I got hit by a tree. It busted a rib, so it was my first year of roping.
Yeah.
The first year, well, six years ago, it was the first year I really couldn't
look up. Yeah.
At the sun, anywhere near the sun, you know? Stuff works. Can you climb a tree
for us now?
Here's your show. Yeah. Now watch.
You got a busted rib. Be careful.
Not only is he climbing a tree, he's smoking while he's climbing a tree.
Oh, he's definitely good. Yeah.
Should we use more goats on the new show? Oh, I don't know. I really don't know.
Well, you know, the first rule of show business, you can't lose with goats.
Well, isn't that nice? Yeah. I got to say two words to you, and I want your
honest reaction.
If you're watching a television show, meat giveaways.
Would you watch a television program that had naked people on playground
equipment?
Well, I think you give me the business. You're not Dave Letterman on the TV.
That's the same one. Actually, for a while, I anchored the nightly news, and
then that didn't go so well.
You're not Dave Letterman. What is your real name?
Regis Philbin. Is it all right if me and the crew and everybody gets in your
pool?
I saw a Japanese guy coming down the street.
Oh, they can go back to Japan.
Oh, okay.
Well, we're done for the day.
New ideas.