Name: Chris Elliott Is Jay Leno | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-10-02T15:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott Is Jay Leno | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott Is Jay Leno | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-02. Transcript available.

My next guest tonight is easily one of the funniest men in America.
He has television deals, commercial contracts, and concert dates all over the
world.
Next month, he will be at the Universal Amphitheater in Los Angeles, California
for two weeks.
Please welcome Mr. Comedy, Chris Elliott.
Chris, come on out.
Good to see you, Chris.
Good to be here, David.
Yeah, you look great.
Well, actually, I'm a little tired, to be honest with you.
You know, it's these 24-hour banking machines.
Now, have we seen these?
Have we seen these?
Now, I'm all for progress.
I'm all for progress.
But, I mean, honey, it's 4 a.m. in the morning.
Time to go to sleep.
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
I have to go down to the bank and make sure the check for the dry cleaner is
clean.
See, I didn't realize they were a problem.
I thought they were actually quite convenient.
Oh, they're a big problem, Dave.
Big problem.
Uh-huh.
Now, you know, Chris, it seems to me that you're changing your style a little
bit.
It looks like you're doing a little bit more like, you know, Jay Leno might be
doing comedy.
I think that's probably just your imagination.
Uh-huh.
So, I brought the TV guide with me.
Uh-huh.
No evil twins this week.
But take a look at these mind teethers in the crossword puzzles over here.
Yeah.
Now, look at this.
This is 48 across.
It's a TV show.
Four letters.
Miami blank.
Oh, I don't know.
Florida?
What are we, morons?
Are we morons?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
That was good.
We're morons.
Morons, yeah.
But, uh, now, that was good.
That was a little more like Leno, that moron thing.
That was close.
Dave, I'm not doing Jay Leno.
Yeah.
So, uh, anything else bothering you tonight, Jay, Chris?
You mean what's my beef?
Yeah, what's your...
What's fucking me?
Well, I've got a beef.
Now, here's something.
Now, this is something.
Now, have you seen this?
Now, have you seen this new McDonald's, Chicken McNuggets, Shanghai?
Now, what is going on?
What is this?
Is this Oriental fair?
I mean, does this go back to the Ming Dynasty, Dave?
See, that wasn't really quite on the money, because Jay's voice is more of a
baritone.
It's more of a booming kind of voice, you know?
Dave, I'm not doing Jay Leno.
I'll tell you what we can do.
Hal, do we have a clip of Jay Leno doing What's My Beef?
Let's take a look at that, and I think you'll see.
Dave, this is really embarrassing.
You don't need to show this.
This will explain the whole thing.
Hal, go ahead and roll the clip, and it'll be helpful here for Chris.
Jay Leno doing What's My Beef?
What are you angry about?
What's my beef?
Yeah, what is this?
I have a beef every time I come on the show.
There, see?
Had a big fight with the phone company the other day.
I hate dealing with a phone company.
They act like your parents, don't they?
You break your phone, they try to teach you a lesson by making you stay in one
day next week.
You broke your phone, you're grounded Wednesday between 9 and 5.
No, you do not know what time we'll be there, young man.
You just sit and wait.
See, he has a much deeper voice.
His voice is much deeper.
Go ahead, try it again.
Try it again.
No, I don't think so.
You've kind of ruined the illusion I was trying to create.
No, no, no, it'll be great.
Try it again.
I worked on this impersonation for six months.
This chin cost me 800 bucks out of my own pocket, pal.
Yeah.
How many men did it take to put it in place?
Three.
Why didn't you try another impression like Howard Cosell or Richard Nixon or
something?
They're all taken.
Yeah.
Well, that's too bad.
Now, you're going to be at the amphitheater for two weeks, right?
Yeah, but before that, I've got some other engagements right over here.
Take a look at it.
I'm going to be at the Laugh Belly in Utah for a while, and then I'm at the
Comedy Cabin
in Vermont, and then I'm down in Orlando, Florida.
That's near your neck of the woods, down there.
Bustin' the guts.
Bustin' the guts?
Bustin' guts.
Okay, great.
Well, good luck and continued success.
I'm over.
Yeah, you're done.
It's highly unorthodox.
Yeah, I know it is.
Chris Elliott, ladies and gentlemen.
Nice job, Chris.
What are we doing?
We'll pause here for our commercial.