Name: Hello Deli's Rupert Jee Goes Skydiving | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-10-09T15:00:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Hello Deli's Rupert Jee Goes Skydiving | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Hello Deli's Rupert Jee Goes Skydiving | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-09. Transcript available.

-Rupert, how you been? -Oh, great, Dave, thanks.
-What's been happening? -Same old thing, working hard.
-Uh-huh, what's going down? -Not much.
-Uh-huh, what up? What up, dog?
-Uh, yeah. -Yeah, exactly.
Well, what's the 4-1-1?
-4-1-1? -Yeah.
-How's the go going? -It's going good.
-Hey, now, I don't want to beat a dead horse,
but you know that Slurpee machine?
And by the way, if you call it a Slurpee one more time,
you're going to get sued by 7-11, you know that.
-I know.
-But if you would take that Slurpee machine
and put it in the window,
you would quadruple your business.
Quadruple your business.
-Uh, I'll work on that. -Now...
Now, here's another thing, Rupert.
What time do you close the store every day?
-About 5:00, 5:30. -5:00, 5:00, 5:00.
And what time do we do this show?
-Uh, about 4:30, 5:30. -That's right.
-Yeah. -But so you close before we're done, right?
-Yes. -Yeah.
-Now, why don't you leave it open
so that all of these people who are starving for something...
See? They want to come in.
They want to give you some business.
They want to come in. They want to say hi.
They want to have, like, one of your triple-double-decker
cheese and matzo burgers or whatever you're making in there,
and a Slurpee.
-Well, okay, I'll work on that, too.
-I don't think you are going to work on that, Rupert.
Anyway, we have something interesting to show the folks.
Tell them what you did recently.
-Well, I went skydiving. -Oh, my God.
Is this something you always wanted to do?
-Uh, kind of. -Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Were you frightened about it?
-Oh, of course I was. -Yeah.
-And how was the experience?
-Oh, it's quite a thrill. -Yeah.
-Yeah, it's...
-And would you do it again?
-I would consider it. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -But you're going to consider
staying open a little later.
You're going to consider putting the Slurpee machine in the window.
See, this is where nothing happens, Rupert.
-I want a simple yes or no.
Would you go skydiving again?
-Uh, yes.
-All right, okay.
Okay, so we have some videotape of your adventures.
Where did you go?
-Well, I was at Williamstown, New Jersey.
The place is called Free Fall Adventures.
-Uh-huh, they're good.
They're damn good, those people.
-Yeah, they're real good.
-They know exactly what they're doing.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-
-How long ago did you go?
-About a month ago.
-I'm so distracted by that beautiful Slurpee machine
just over your shoulder.
God, I just want a Slurpee.
That's all I really want now.
I don't care about the lawsuit from 7-Eleven.
I want to...
God, that's beautiful, isn't it?
Wouldn't you just like to dunk your head in there, Rupert?
Drink all the Slurpee you can?
All right, let's take a look at the videotape
of Rupert skydiving.
All right, let's take a look at it.
All right, let's take a look at it.
All right, let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
All right, let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
All right, let's take a look at it.
All right, let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Let's take a look at it.
Hey, Glenn.
This is Rupert.
Rupert is going to be using the parachute
that you're going to be packing
for his tandem jump.
It doesn't seem like you have
much of a system here.
It's not.
You just got to get in the bag.
That's the tough part.
I got to start over.
Oh, God.
So basically, my life is in this guy's hands.
At this point, yeah.
I do this every day, dude.
I want my money back.
So, Glenn, can you show me the plane
that we'll be jumping out of?
Sure.
Come with me.
Oh, God.
Parachuting is a high-risk activity
which may cause or result
in serious injury or death.
Oh, God.
In case something happens,
I had the graphics people put something together.
Oh, God.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
If this doesn't get me laid,
wake up my money back.
Oh, we'll get you laid.
before I go up.
Let's light this candle.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
I see.
You're in hell, Letterman.
Go!
- Oh, my feet back on the ground, I felt exhilarated by my journey through the
clouds. As my new friends and I hugged and shook hands, my thoughts kept
drifting to something my instructor Glenn had told me earlier, and I
desperately hoped it was true.
- Oh, we'll get you laid.
- It looks like a lot of fun. - Yeah, it was.
- What a beautiful day, huh? - Yeah, great.
- Now, when the shoot opens, that's a pretty good tug, isn't it?
- It was, yeah. - Is it violent? Were you kind of whipped around a little by
that or not?
- It wasn't as bad as I thought it would. - How fast are you going? Is it 120
miles an hour at that point?
- That's right, yeah. - Oh, and what altitude did you jump from?
- About 14,000 feet. - Whoa.
- Yeah. - Now, guess what I got in here right now. You have no idea, do you?
- You got to, you got to... - Right.
- Okay, so beginning tonight, you're going to start your new summer hours. Is
that right?
- I'll do, yeah, tonight I will. - Yeah, okay.
So you'll be open to like 7:00 or something. That'll be great.
Rupert G, ladies and gentlemen, goes to skydiving.
Rupert G, ladies and gentlemen, go to skydiving.
Rupert G, ladies and gentlemen, go to skydiving.