Name: CBS Mailbag: Dave's Antiques Roadshow Rip-Off | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-10-12T15:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Dave's Antiques Roadshow Rip-Off | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Dave's Antiques Roadshow Rip-Off | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-12. Transcript available.

here we go letter number one dear dave why don't you do something for the kids
kathleen mcconnell
queens new york this is an excellent question and uh something we don't take
lightly around
here and we consider it all the time and i said you know enough of this we're
going to do something
for the kids so tonight right here on the late show we have a new segment
entitled alan coulter's
story time alan thank you very much dave today we'll be hearing the story of
the ugly duckling
once upon a time there was a family of ducks there was a mama duck and ten
little ducklings
but one of the ducklings just didn't seem to fit in so he asked the mama are
you my mommy
he didn't answer so he set out into the world to find his real mother
are you my mommy alan this is not a good time
are you my mommy security
are you my mommy are you my mommy are you my mommy are you my mommy are you my
mommy
are you my mommy you're my mommy no only a tourist
he's a tourist alan poulter ladies and gentlemen
that was great thank you very much alan alan would you like to finish up your
little story now
are you my mommy okay that's enough that's
just relax will you how many trees were destroyed to make that one cue card
which you're kind of sick when you realize what we've done with it doesn't it
uh dear dave over labor day weekend a jets baseball cap was stolen from my
friend jeff can you help him
find it kelly layman los angeles california
boy golly is my face red
oh man i i just i i'll bet this is what he's looking at
i don't know what got into me but it's a good looking hat that's what i was oh
it's great in it
i think uh you know i think i should do the right thing don't you absolutely
all right excuse me
absolutely one moment ladies and gentlemen i'll be right back i have to where
do i there do we know
where i go i'll go over here then
hi jeff dave letterman hi look i'm uh really sorry about this but uh
i stole your hat wow thanks just a joke i hope you're all right with that yeah
yeah thanks no
hard feelings no great good to see you
hey that's my car
oh
i just want to clear up a little uh production problem you may have some of our
more alert
viewers may have noticed what happened uh on the trip out there i spilled
something on my suit and my tie
on the airplane and they were they were nice enough to give me a suit and tie
that the the pilot had
oh so that's why so i put i put that on and then when i came back here this one
was ready for me
and i put that on so that's what happened
12 feet from the window there you go
uh letter number three dear dave do you believe if you see a penny and pick it
up you'll have good
luck the rest of the day don don francis denver colorado yeah yeah yeah i kind
of i kind of believe
that well we thought like everything else let's put it to the test so our head
carpenter harold larkin
is out there on 53rd street harold harold harold can you hear me harold harold
thanks dave
this is a brand new year 2000 penny let's see if it brings someone luck
that's not back to you dave
i guess not not at all
all right
ladies and gentlemen it's time once again for alan calter's campaign roundup
alan
who let the dogs back to you dave alan calter's campaign roundup letter number
four
dear dave have you got something in your house you could take to the antiques
road show do you ever
watch the antiques road show no i'm not familiar with it it's fascinating isn't
it it's unbelievable
people have items that they've been in their family sometimes for generations
and they take
them to the antiques road show and the guy will appraise them and and
occasionally you'll
have like a real treasure or something yeah and they tell you well that's that's
worth
a quarter of a billion dollars wow they appraise them but it's here's a little
tip never clean
whatever you have because that always reduces sure reduces the value yeah well
if you hadn't
cleaned it it'd be worth two million but since you did it's about 18 dollars
uh anyway uh yeah uh in fact last week did you see me i was on the coincidentally
i was on the
antiques road show this is kit uh cave creek arizona yeah take a look it's me
on the road show watch
judging by the wear and tear i would say this is worth about 25 dollars 20 25
dollars oh no are you
kidding me did you take a look at this have you seen the whole deal you know
what we're talking about
here come on maybe 30 30. 500 or we're walking 500 and that's it i'm sorry that's
the most we're going to get
here we go