Name: Fan Request: Woman Attacked By Fox | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-10-13T15:00:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: Woman Attacked By Fox | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: Woman Attacked By Fox | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-13. Transcript available.

okay now this is uh this is going to be exciting because this is a real life
story and what we
know about real life stories is we may learn something from one real life that
could apply
to our real life our first guest recently survived a harrowing encounter with a
rabid fox
rabbi fox no this is not terrible he should be really disbarred no never mind
uh please welcome
michelle felisetta ladies thank you good to have you here you're from uh where
in arizona chino
valley arizona man is that near phoenix actually it's about two hours north of
phoenix two hours
north of phoenix so what else is up there is that near the grand canyon it's a
little bit south of
the grand canyon right about smack dab in the middle and you know i heard about
this on the radio a
couple of weeks ago and i just thought whoa my god because they were saying a
woman's out running
jogging attacked by a rabid fox and and has to run with the fox bitten into you
uh back to where you
left your car and then you had to go to get some medical help tell us exactly
the circumstances of
what this is well uh this is on my normal jog and uh going down a little canyon
and about a little
over a mile into it fox came out from the left-hand side it almost ran to meet
me on the trail it was a
little bit ahead of me now had you seen the wildlife before on your run oh yeah
i see them all the time
and and most of the time you know you just be quiet and mind mind your own
business and they go right
along so this uh fox came and it stopped right in front of me on the trail and
you know i thought
it was really bizarre so it was just quiet stopped and it slowly like made eye
contact and slowly
started walking towards me and i knew something was definitely wrong and that
happened so um as it got
closer i was like okay this is bad it's probably a rabid animal i need to get
out of the situation so i
slowly went to back up as i stick back took a step backward lunged at my left
foot and and actually
clamped down bit onto your foot is that yeah my big toe yeah so people know
exactly what we're talking
about this is about the animal there it's a red desert fox is that what they're
called and uh they're
they look uh i guess harmless by and large i don't know and generally speaking
generally speaking they
would have left you alone oh they wouldn't even gotten near me okay so now what
do you do you
got the fox biting your foot and you're a mile from your car yeah so it goes
after the big toe
it's sorry you know going after it and painful must have been very painful oh i
by that time it was
just i was in shock so i wasn't feeling anything but i kicked it off um i think
i brushed it with my
hand it bit my fingernail off and i got it off and as soon as i saw the blood
on the foot i knew
i probably it's obviously a rabid animal i need to go get help and as i'm
thinking this it comes back after
right above my left knee just lunges on your upper knee coming for my knee and
so it had just broken
the skin and at that time i grabbed the back of its neck and uh so you grabbed
the animal and are
pulling it off your leg and it was it dug in when you pulled it off it had just
broken the skin oh
gosh yeah but but the i but the idea of now you've been attacked twice and now
you're reaching down
there to grab the animal that that must have been you you probably we didn't
really have chance to think
that over but normally you wouldn't be grabbing a wild animal well well i knew
i had to stop it from
attacking me i needed to confine the animal to take it in for testing and i had
to get the hospital
yeah there's no you left you no choice yeah okay so now you've got the animal
by the the scruff of
the neck got it by the neck so i got it like this it starts thrashing around
like this and uh it somehow
went over and just bit my arm just like that this is awful got me real good
yeah and and were any of
these really deep puncture wounds yeah the one in my arm one of the arm very
deep he got it right
around the muscle and just held on as tight as he could oh my god uh then what
do you do well
um for a moment i almost decided to pull him off but he was on there so hard he
had such a good
bite that i knew that uh after trying once to tug him off if i really panicked
and ripped him off he
would have just taken a big chunk of my arm with oh my goodness so i knew i
just had to start booking
it for help so now uh blood coming or it was all plugged up with his fangs
coming out of my foot but
but he had it was just you know puncture yeah so you say you had to take off
running is what you did
yeah i just started heading out of the canyon wow and and how long i think i
heard a mile yeah it was a
little over mile uphill too isn't it yeah it was uphill so uh i had a my arm
out perpendicular he
was hanging from here i had his neck and you know when you're running uphill
you kind of bend over a
little bit so i had to hold back because i didn't want to come after my face i'm
running the whole time
very awkward yeah well now that would have been alarming to other campers and hikers
don't you think
that they've seen yeah wow man well i i mean uh courage comes to mind took a
great deal of courage
to do this but again you had no choice yeah what are you going to do for god's
sakes now now could
you if the animal had not attacked you would you have been all right just
letting it go and then
gotten treatment for yourself or you needed to bring the the animal in well i
mean if the animal had come
and bit me around away i wasn't going to run for it or anything like that but
um when i knew that as
soon as it came back after me i knew i had to take it for you know i had to
contain the animal keep
it from attacking me and take it in for testing so so you get back to the car
you've run now a mile
uphill with a rabid fox clamped onto your arm and and are you are you must have
been terrified right
you're frightened or oh i wasn't i was pumped full of adrenaline i was just
yeah yeah and and what is the
animal doing while you're running you know well i had a pretty good hold on his
neck so he he wasn't
moving around too much you're you're tough honest honest to god this get back
to the car now that's
okay sure so you're at the car but the problem's not solved at all is it not at
all so i was wearing
a sweatshirt so he had bitten through the sweatshirt and by the time i got up
to the parking lot he was
tired enough that i was able to take him out of the flesh of my arm um i his
two bottom teeth i had
pinned up through the sweatshirt i held it held his neck in my left hand pinned
it up at an angle so he
couldn't move around and then i unzipped my hoodie swung it around me wrapped
him up in the sweatshirt threw
him in the trunk wow this uh wow you know you know that show survivor man with
that guy that goes on
i mean this makes that guy look like a student film no honest to god that's
just crazy
so you were able to immobilize by wrapping him in the uh hooded sweatshirt toss
him in the in the trunk
now did you have to get the keys to fumble around to get the keys and all of
that well i only run
with my ignition key that's the only thing i carry on me so i had that in my
pocket and i think foxes
know that i think that's why they attack runners because uh wow okay so now you
drive to the medical
center yeah started driving the hospital i there was no cell service there so i
had to wait for a while
before you call anybody good luck i mean this just gets worse and worse by the
way we have a cbs news
recreation animated recreation oh yeah let's take a look tell us what we're
going to see michelle there
you are running moving along pretty good there's the rabid fox well it's
beautiful out there in the
desert oh fox is now on your foot what's next look out oh there it is nothing
left to do but just
there she goes now finally we make it to the car there she goes wow
okay but the drama is not over you get to the medical center what happens well
on the drive you
finally called your husband yeah i called my husband uh he was the first one i
called and the
sales phone service was cutting in and out so as soon as i got him on the phone
all he heard was
fox and he thought he heard hit like i hit a fox with a car so um i ended up
hanging up because i had
no service then i called back and he's like so you hit a fox with a car is the
car okay you know
i'm like no i'm bit i got bit by a fox oh my god anyhow so i got a phone with
him he started
heading down to prescott to meet me and i called animal control so they had
somebody meet me out
the hospital yeah and how did they get the thing out of the trunk well they
came and got me while
i was in the emergency room and i was like oh well i'll take you out there you
know so we walked out
the parking lot and the woman was like so it's dead right like no yeah no it's
not dead she's hoping
it's dead yeah so we got out there and it was dusk and so it was pretty dark
and so she had you know
her tools and you know big stick with the thing at the end and um i went to
open the trunk for her
we opened just a little bit and the little thing just came right out still got
a little fight in it
oh had some fight in them so uh shut it again kind of got ourselves together so
i opened the trunk
back up she got her noose in it and it slipped right out came out and just bit
her right on the elbow
wow wow wow i mean had you done something to piss this animal i mean what
well i don't think it liked me carrying him by the neck for over a month oh my
god
uh so uh anyway now uh so do you have to go through the uh rabies injections
yeah yeah and
are they as bad as everybody wants you to believe they are they're they're not
as bad as they used
to be they've actually made a lot of progress um the vaccine does have quite an
effect on me it usually
takes me about a day to get back to normal kind of knocks you out a little bit
yeah and and where
where do these animals in the wild how do they contract the rabies well there's
different carriers i i know
that the the fox actually smelled like skunk and when i told it to animal
control they they said
it probably was eating a carcass of a dead skunk that had rabies yeah perfect
sense oh my god and
you're okay you're going to be okay yes uh and any lessons learned here i don't
know it seems like
you did everything right i might carry a knife with me yeah yeah what what do
you do for a living
michelle oh i work for the government well we we have a couple of things for
you i know it really
maybe this will just make you feel better there's a autograph photo of red fox
there you are
and we have a complete series of sanford and son there you go
there it is right there okay thank you very much well that's quite a story i'm
very well i'm very
proud of you what a tremendous ordeal and way to go by god nice job take care
of yourself
you