Name: Meg Ryan's Cheeky Attempt At A British Accent | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-11-06T23:00:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Meg Ryan's Cheeky Attempt At A British Accent | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Meg Ryan's Cheeky Attempt At A British Accent | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-06. Transcript available.

I can't tell you how much it means to me to have you on the show.
It's just great to meet you. Thank you very much, Meg.
Well, thank you, Dave. It's really great to be here.
Wow, that's unbelievable. I mean, you don't have, like, even a trace of a
British accent.
It's just amazing to me.
Well, actually, Dave, I'm American.
She's American!
That's funny! And I'm Japanese!
Our first guest stars in the brand-new blockbuster motion picture, French Kiss,
which is set in lovely Paris, France, just a short channel ride from here.
Folks, do me a favor. Please give a big welcome, London, hello, or words to
that effect,
to one of the world's biggest stars. Here's Meg Ryan.
Look at that. Man.
Look at that. Look at how...
Lovely.
It's so nice of you to be here. I've never met you, and you're, uh, we've
wanted to have you on the program for, like, years and years and years.
And finally, you're here. Thank you very much for your time.
Thank you.
Is this your first time in London?
No, no. I've been here a couple times. I came here, uh, first when I was about
17.
As a student traveling Europe?
Kind of, yeah. We came over in, like, the, uh, cargo hold of a TWA.
Really?
Yeah, yes. Very, very kind of, um, we did the whole youth hostel thing, and the,
uh...
You and a bunch of girlfriends? A bunch of classmates?
Yeah, two girlfriends. We had these, like, backpacks and those sweatshirts and
Adidas and all that.
We were completely stunned that anyone ever knew we were American.
Which is weird.
And the backpacks weighed, like, 70 pounds.
What kind of stuff did you bring? Where did you think you were going? Neptune
or something?
I don't know. We thought, I think, I, I think we, we didn't think we could buy
anything in England.
Or, we had, like, um, I had a distilled water, oxygen, whatever.
Do you, do you recall, uh, fond, fondly your first trip here? What was your
first impression of the country and the city?
Well, aside from those backpacks being so heavy, there was, uh, because we
would lay underneath them, practically.
But, um, I remember thinking that we were disappointed a couple times.
Like, there were no animals at the Piccadilly Circus.
Not, not like.
Well, wait a minute.
What do you, what do you mean?
Not one beefeater.
Nothing.
Yeah, but if, what would you do with one if you had one, for heaven's sakes?
We were expecting them at customs or something, you know.
The telephones were confusing.
They had to, I remember you had to wait for a series of rapid pips.
Do you remember those days? Do you still have that?
Probably not.
You would wait for a series of, of rapid pips and, and then, and then, and then,
and then Gladys Knight comes in and then she helps you play, she makes the call
for her exactly.
They have these separate coins you had to go.
Yeah, special, uh, coins for the phones, sure.
Yeah.
Did you get in trouble?
How long were you away from home?
We were gone for about three months.
Oh, man.
Now let's hear something.
Really, what went on?
Um, nothing.
It was just a whole mess of fun.
We did, like, all the, uh, we did, we were in France, we were in, uh, Greece, I
remember.
We were in, uh, Salzburg.
One of my girlfriends really wanted to see where Julie Andrews spun around and
sounded.
This is some cultural event, wasn't it?
Where are you from originally?
Connecticut.
Connecticut?
What part of Connecticut?
Yeah, Fairfield County.
You know, I, you know, I live not very far from there.
You do, that's right.
Yeah, it's a great place, isn't it?
Where are you living?
I can't really tell you because a friend of Salmon's comes by periodically.
Uh, but, you know, I, I've noticed that part of the countryside in that state
reminds me a little of the, uh, countryside here in Great Britain.
It's just beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, do you, do you, uh, as an actress, as the consummate actress, as, as, like,
a big, big deal, you have to speak with a British accent?
Can you do that?
If somebody said, we want you to play a British woman, could you do that?
Well, yeah, I tried.
You could use it, you do have an accent?
I, well, no, but I mean, I think I'd give it a shot.
Okay, all right, now see, we have some phrases here.
Okay.
All right, well, let's start out easy.
Try that one.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Uh, cheerio.
But that didn't sound right.
Wait.
Well, I, I, cheerio, it said, it said, no more English than when I said it.
Very nice.
Give me another one.
Okay.
Uh, okay, try this one there.
Can you see that?
This one?
Oh, that one right there.
This one, oh, okay.
Two pound, four shilling, please.
Oh, thank you, Gov.
Well, now we're getting to it.
Give us a kiss, love.
All right, let's try that one.
That's a little more advanced.
Oh.
Please, sir, may I have some more intestine pie?
The old home-baked intestine pie.
Mmm, man.
I remember when mom would make those up for the holidays.
God bless her.
Well, so when you're here, when you're abroad, you know, what I mean by that,
of course.
Yeah.
Um, folks, recognize you everywhere you go because you're a global film star,
aren't you?
No.
Yes, they do.
Yes, they do.
I was thinking about, what about you, though, now?
No, nobody knows who I am, and I like it like that.
I don't know.
You are now the global grand poop-off.
That's why I spend the weekends hiding under my house.
Yeah.
But have you noticed a difference in how people react to you in this country,
for example,
as opposed to the United States?
Well, no, not really, but we just made this film in France, and no one cared at
all.
No one cared there at all?
Yeah, they were like, no.
I find this hard to believe because I believe in my heart that wherever you go,
you're worshipped
as a goddess.
No.
Are you sure?
Yeah, no crowd control, no nothing, no security, you know.
Do you speak French?
Parlez-vous Francais?
No.
S'il vous plaît?
No.
Je m'appelle Kenny.
That's good, Dave.
What did I say?
My name is Kenny.
Your name is Kenny.
Yeah, I know.
It's as close as I can get.
Kevin Kline plays a Frenchman in the film.
He's great.
He's terrific, yeah.
And so he learned French, so I would depend on him for certain things.
That's what he was telling us on our show, that he actually could speak French
because
he did it for the film.
Was that true?
Yeah.
In the beginning, I kind of depended on him for a few sort of polite phrases to
get
me through, and then I would find out what he was really telling me to say.
He used to say that I should say merci beaucoup, instead of merci beaucoup.
And what's the problem there?
Well, it means thank you, nice ass.
Thank you, nice ass.
You know, still, I have no problem with that either.
And then he would have me say, what was it?
Oh, bonjour.
Je suis le grand salope américain.
Bonjour, hello, good day.
I am a...
Great American bitch.
That made for some very long elevator rides.
Yeah.
But you know, the two, the nice ass and the bitch, are not mutually exclusive.
You can have both, I believe, sure.
You could string those raises together.
And be a lucky woman.
You could string those raises together.
Absolutely.
The film is just doing unbelievable business, and this is a little silly.
It doesn't come to London, I guess, now until November.
Right.
Yeah.
But in America, it's like your box office blockbuster.
Well, it's okay.
Let's take a look at it.
Do you know what we're going to show here, Meg?
Yeah, I think we're going to see a scene where I finally come across my fiancé
who's dumped
me for a beautiful French babe.
Your fiancé being played by...
Tim Hutton.
That's right.
Here we go.
Roll the film, if you will.
And the fun begins.
My goodness.
Somehow it seems nearly sinful to take your face and cover it with goo for the
entire film.
Oh, this is a good stop for me, Dave.
Oh, good.
Will you come back again sometime?
Yeah.
What are you going to...
How much longer are you going to be in London?
Probably until tomorrow.
So you want to do something later?
You mean Salmon?
Go back to the room and pull the blinds down and hide under the bed.
Anyway, congratulations, and I hope you understand that this isn't just TV
nonsense.
I really am thrilled that you're here.
Oh, thank you.
I'm really happy to be here.
Because normally I am full of TV nonsense, but I really mean this.
I do mean this.
It's great fun to have you with us.
Thank you very much, Meg.
Meg Ryan!
I'm Meg Ryan!