Name: Stupid Human Tricks: The Guy With Zombie Eyes | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-11-15T16:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stupid Human Tricks: The Guy With Zombie Eyes | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stupid Human Tricks: The Guy With Zombie Eyes | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-15. Transcript available.

This is something very nice. People always love this. This is Stupid Human Tricks,
and we have
humans who have little tricks that they've taught themselves, and they're here
to present them for
you folks tonight. Do me a favor and say hello to Greg Lobel. Greg, come on out
and say hello.
Hey, Greg, how are you? Oh, good, sir. Nice to see you. Nice to see you, too.
Greg, you're from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. What do you do there? Yes, sir. I
work for PNC Bank. I'm in
sales. How are things in the banking in Pittsburgh? Okay? Really great. Thank
goodness.
Thanks for asking. It's going really well, considering we're doing great. So
did it look
kind of bleak for a while, but now it's looking brighter? Exactly. Yes, it is.
Now, don't let
me put words in your mouth. Well, that's good to hear. This is some positive
news there from
the Iron City. Yes, sir. Yeah, it is. It's looking really promising. And how
are the pirates
doing? They're getting better. They're doing better. Oh, and the penguins. Oh,
my gosh.
That's right. Whoa, buddy. How about that, huh? Hopefully, they're going to do
it.
So, Pittsburgh really is Championship City now, isn't it? We're thinking,
hopefully,
we can get that. All right. Now, I notice you have a beverage. Yes, sir. Does
that figure
into your stupid human trick here? Yes, sir. Yeah. All right. What is it going
to be?
I'm going to do an impression of a chainsaw? Okay. Impression of a chainsaw,
ladies and gentlemen.
He's a banker.
So, if you're looking for a loan, just walk into the bank and say,
where's that guy who does the chainsaw? Because I want to talk to him.
Take it away, Greg. Anytime you're ready. All right. Thank you. Just got to oil
it up a little.
Yeah, sure. Can I help with that? If you want.
Do that. I'm going to put it on my arm.
I wonder what the governor thinks about that.
Wow. Let's take another look. That was delightful.
Yeah. It doesn't get any better than that.
Congratulations, Greg. Good luck to you. Thanks for being here.
Greg Lovell, ladies and gentlemen. Whoa.
He could care less about the economy because he knows he's sitting on a gold
mine.
That guy has written his meal ticket for the rest of his life.
Next, say hello to Seisha Nielsen and Nate Nielsen, ladies and gentlemen,
husband and wife.
Nate, how are you? Nice to see you.
Good, how are you?
Nice to see you.
Seisha, nice to meet you. Come right over here. Where are you guys from?
Gilbert, Arizona.
I don't know where Gilbert, Arizona is. Where is that?
It's outside of Phoenix by Mesa.
Uh-huh. That beautiful country out there.
What desert is that? Is that the Sonoran Desert you're in?
We've only lived there for a few months, so I don't know.
Okay, well...
It's a desert.
Yeah, well, call AAA and get a brochure.
Well, what do you guys do for a living?
I'm a medical student finishing my fourth year at KCUM.
Good for you.
I stay at home and raise our three girls.
Oh, how old are the girls?
Six, four, and one.
All right. Are they watching right now?
They are.
Say hello to the kids.
Hi, girls.
And I see spaghetti out here.
Do you want me to rub that on you?
Is that the deal?
Nate, what are you doing with the spaghetti?
I'm going to feed the spaghetti to my wife in a unique way.
Okay.
That's how it always begins, isn't it?
Going to feed the spaghetti to his wife in a unique way.
Here we go.
Let's take a look.
All right.
Work.
Yo!
Whoa.
Wow.
You know, you don't have to do that.
Call me.
Call me later.
All right.
Let's take another look.
It would be even better in slow motion.
Here we go.
He's a medical student.
He's going to be a doctor, ladies and gentlemen.
He's got three kids.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
That was, well, that really was something.
Sesha, nice to see you.
Good luck in Arizona.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
You know, you travel sometimes to Europe and you're in the hotel and late at
night you'll
find stuff like that on TV.
And finally, ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Colin Mason.
Ladies and gentlemen, here's Colin Mason.
Hi, Colin.
How are you?
Hi.
Good to see you.
Where are you from, Colin?
I'm from Cheyenne, Wyoming.
Oh, how about that?
Cheyenne, Wyoming.
Yep.
It's beautiful there, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You born there?
Born and raised there?
Yeah, born and raised.
Yeah.
And what do you do?
Do you do horseback ride, fish, hunt, ride, climb mountains and stuff?
I like to hike.
Yeah, hike.
Where have you been hiking?
Snowy Range.
Ever been up in the Tetons?
You ever go up in the Tetons?
Yeah.
I love it.
Beautiful.
I love Jackson.
Yeah, good for you.
What do you do for a living there?
I'm just a student at the University of Wyoming.
Now, don't say just a student.
Well, I'm unemployed, so I'm looking for a job.
So I'm just a student for now.
Just a student for now.
But still in all, nothing wrong with...
Yeah, nothing wrong with me.
Yeah, no, of course not.
Yeah, yeah.
Business Administration and Finance.
Well, you'll never get a job.
You're, let's face it, you're just a student.
Yep.
Yeah.
All right, Colin, what are you going to do for us here?
I'm going to give myself zombie eyes.
Zombie eyes?
Yeah.
Zombie eyes.
I don't know what that is.
That's a reference to, like, a monster zombie in a movie, zombie eyes?
Well, let me show you.
Okay, all right, here we go.
From Cheyenne, Wyoming, ladies and gentlemen, Colin Mason.
Take it away, Colin.
Whoa!
There it is.
One more time.
Beautiful.
Beautiful job.
Thank you very much.
Colin Mason, ladies and gentlemen.
I know I'm wishing for too much, but wouldn't it be great if we had one guy who
could do all
three of those things at the same time?
Boy, then you'd have some.
Same amount of travel expenses.
There's your show right there.
There's your show right there.
There's your show right there.