Name: Dave's Big "Late Show" Marquee Giveaway Update | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-11-16T00:59:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Big "Late Show" Marquee Giveaway Update | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Big "Late Show" Marquee Giveaway Update | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-16. Transcript available.

Hi, welcome to the Barbara Gaines Show. On today's show, the lovely Mary Barkley
and the
internationally known Dave Letterman. Well, thank you very much for the flattery,
Barbara. It's
always a pleasure to be on the show. And Mary, good to see you again. Thank you
for dropping
by on Barbara's show. I love the Barbara Gaines Show. I'm always happy to be a
guest on the
Barbara Gaines Show. Very swibbing. But let me just compliment you on the new
set. This is
fantastic. No, that's not a new set. Because on the old set, I would be sitting
over there
where Mary is, and Mary would be sitting here where I am. But you really mixed
it up. Nice
going. I think these production tips are invaluable to keep things fresh. Sure.
Do you feel differently
looking at that side of the room? It is. It's a little weird, but kind of
exciting in a weird
way. Yeah. And we're all dressed alike. That was my second point. We're all
dressed alike.
This is great. So congratulations. And I'm glad things are going so well. It's
like a staff uniform.
Yeah, kind of. Now, one of the features you do on your program is shoutouts.
Show shoutouts?
Yeah, sure. I just want to shout out to the Indiana Pacers. I was happy and
lucky enough to go see an
Indiana Pacer game in Indianapolis with some of my old lifelong friends. And oh
my, what a bunch of ballers
these Pacers are. And we saw them defeat the Utah Jazz. And god, we got to sit
right at courtside.
It's sort of like being here on your show. We're right here where the action is.
Same excitement, yeah.
And these guys are tremendous athletes. And like I said, they beat the Utah
Jazz. And then they went on
and won two other games that week. And then last night they beat the
Philadelphia 76ers in the
in-season play-in thing. And I've had my basketball people have explained that.
It's a tournament
that it's not the NBA championship, but it's a tournament
in the season. But it's not the NBA championship. That'll come later. But the
Pacers look really,
really good to me and my basketball people. We have a little betting thing here,
the bet Dave, bet big,
where you can win money just looking at me. Wow. Yeah. Tell me that the Pacers
are favored now.
They'll probably meet Denver in the championship round. They're just that good.
And by the way, the
people at the Pacers, the top flight organization, they were very, very kind to
me. And I had a very
nice time. So that's my shout out. So it's tree lighting time here in New York
City. And I think
today they light the tree. Al Roker will be there with his cast of friends from
the Today Show.
You're too early. It's not even Thanksgiving yet. They do it after Thanksgiving.
Do they? They do it early. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the tree's been
delivered. It's not up yet.
You're thinking of some other tree. I don't know. I'm under the impression
today they're lighting the
tree. And it's Al Roker, and it's Ryan Seacrest, and it's Kelly Ripa. They're
there for the tree
lighting. Now, because that's such a popular event here in New York City, I
will be hosting the festivities
when they turn the lights off. So that'll be sometime around Easter. And they
turn the lights off, and they
take all of the ornaments down from the tree, and we'll have area musicians,
and they'll be cheering,
and it'll be a grand old time. So look for that one, won't you?
I think this is a legitimately great idea. Every part of this is monetized. Why
not the wrap-up?
Exactly. But you should do that in January.
The other thing is I've been looking through my TV guide for listings on The
Barbara Gaines Show.
Honest to God, I don't see anything.
I don't think there's a TV guide, and we're not on TV.
Oh, yeah, I think the TV guide I'm looking through is from 68.
Yeah, well, that's the first problem. Mary, should we mention Prizo, Prizio,
Prizo?
Oh, this thing, yeah.
Yeah, an update.
What a scam.
The marquee giveaway.
The big marquee giveaway.
It's going gangbusters. It's really great.
Mm-hmm. How about the comments? Let's go to the comments.
Here's some comments that Walter found for us. One was...
A lot of this money goes to Walter.
No, none of it goes to Walter.
Because Walter has kids to put through college.
One was...
Habitat for Walter.
That sign will be in Jimmy Kimmel's driveway, I guarantee it.
Oh, that's cute. I think Jimmy Kimmel's wife put that on there.
Oh, one was from Jimmy Kimmel's wife.
Yeah, yeah, it's cute.
That's not the one, though.
But that's not the one.
No, I like Jimmy Kimmel.
By the way, here's pictures of me at the Pacer game.
Okay, go ahead.
Jimmy Kimmel's wife said, "Oh, God, this is going to end up in my living room.
I just know it."
Jimmy Kimmel then said, "I was thinking more of the front porch."
Yeah, yeah.
But see, that's the thing.
It's this big...
It came off the marquee of a theater.
This theater has been there for a hundred years.
The sign was part of the end piece of the marquee.
So you're saying, "Why the hell would I want this?"
I couldn't agree more.
Here's why you want it.
Let's just say you own a theater,
and I happen to be doing a nightly talk show in that theater.
Then this is ideal for you.
Well, what if you just love the show so much?
Nobody loved the show so much.
And you have a big yard.
But the neighbors will complain.
There will be some sort of citation, and you'll have to have it taken away.
Zoning.
Yeah, zoning, ordinances.
You can't live with trash like that.
How about a big rec room?
You don't know how big the son of a bitch is?
8 by 20.
Yeah.
Who's got a rec room that will facilitate that?
Here's another comment.
Win the sign, nice.
Meet Dave, nice.
Appear on the David, wrong.
Appear on the Barbara Gaines show, nice.
But tell me, will Barbara's daughter, Mary, be there?
Meeting Mary, incredible.
You know, this is interesting because I think that it's time for complete
transparency.
We've tried to keep this under wraps for reasons, and I fought this in
production meetings in the
beginning when I came in to consult on this mess.
And they said, we can't let people know that Mary is Barbara's daughter.
And I said, you're making a huge mistake.
And now that it's out, I couldn't be happier to be right about this.
It's Mary Gaines, Mary Gaines Barkley, Barbara's daughter.
What was she like as a mom, Mary?
Loving, very loving.
I was very loving, but I was always at the show.
I couldn't do it.
There was a distance.
This is exciting.
I love this.
I think we look alike.
Yes.
Yes, you do.
The resemblance is striking.
And I'm about a foot taller than you.
Well, I was a little mom.
And the last one is, this has all the feel of Jerry Lewis at the 23rd hour.
Yeah.
Now, there's a great discussion about that particular comment.
Some feel it's derisive.
It doesn't bother me.
I don't care.
Paul is a big fan of Jerry Lewis and the Jerry Lewis telethon.
And Jerry, for whatever else one might think of Jerry, raised a lot of money
for a good cause.
So, to me, it's a win-win.
Mary, you thought otherwise.
You thought it was snarky, right?
It seemed a little snarky to me.
I mean, by the 23rd hour, like, A, nobody's watching Jerry, but nobody watches
this thing.
Exactly.
That's why it seemed fine to me.
People love this show.
And then at the end, Jerry was like, the tuxedo was like, all sweaty.
And he just seemed kind of desperate and ready to hang it up.
Well, I think that is aptly descriptive.
Yeah, I love the tie-open tuxedo look.
Yeah.
Come on, wrap it up, Gaines.
All right.
So, that's all.
Don't forget to smash.
And...
Oh, yeah.
You got to subscribe.
It's giveaway day right here.
Don't forget to do the thingy thingy.
Yeah, hit the button and ring the bell and subscribe.
And the first...
Do all of that.
The first 2,000 subscribers get a new car.
No, that doesn't happen.
And thanks for watching.
A brand new car.
No, they don't get anything.
Yes, they do.
No, they don't.
Can we...
That sucked.
What?
It is better than most, I thought.
Okay.