Name: Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Will Forte | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-12-12T16:00:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Will Forte | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Will Forte | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-12. Transcript available.

Hi, I'm Will Forte, and I apologize for my hat head. These guys let me reschedule
the timing of
this and come in early, and I had been wearing a hat, and I would have fixed my
hair up, but
I apologize. I was at the show, I think I came in June of 97? My agent sent
Dave a book of cartoons
that I had done. It was called 101 Things to Definitely Not Do If You Want to
Get a Chick,
and Dave seemed to like the cartoons, so he said that I could submit a packet.
I kind of look back on
the packet now, and I think it must have been the cartoons because the packet
was not fantastic.
Up to that point, I had just written things at the Groundlings, and you're
submitting them to peers,
and you get a chance to put them up on their feet. My stuff is kind of weird,
and I might sell it in a
way that another person might not sell it. So then I go to the Late Show, and
it's just absolutely
terrifying. This is one of my comedy heroes. The stuff that I was always very
interested in writing
would be like the CBS mailbag, kind of some of the more absurd stuff. The thing
I really remember was
this Mujibur and Serajul doing the news, and every segment was them, and it
just was, it was this really
dumb thing, but I loved it. Dear Dave, I was wondering, whatever happened to Mujibur
and Serajul?
Sincerely, Matt, new Bedford, Massachusetts. Mujibur and Serajul, a couple of
friends of ours
worked down the street. We haven't seen him in a while, and people don't know
what happened to him.
You don't know what happened to him? Well, here. Here's what happened to him.
Take a look.
Eyewitness 2, New York's number one source for news. With Mujibur Rahman, Serajul
Islam. Mujibur Rahman with sports. Mujibur Rahman with the weather. Mujibur Rahman
with the Wall Street update. Mujibur Rahman with local election coverage.
Consumer watchdog Serajul Islam plus Serajul Islam and Mujibur Rahman reviewing
this week's movies. And Mujibur Rahman and Serajul Islam with the style report.
Eyewitness 2 News. Take 2, New York.
Witnesses at 5 on WCBS.
They were doing a remote called Everything's Funnier When Somebody Gets Hurt. I
show them how I cut my hair, and then I cut my finger off, but then you see
that it's a fake hand. And then I'm laughing, and I accidentally stab him in
the hand.
Well, during the filming of it, I'm just terrified because I have to actually
take some real scissors and pretend like I'm stabbing him. I'm freaking
terrified that I'm going to, you know, pierce through Dave's hand. And, you
know, on day five of my job there, it actually probably would have been better
because it probably would have saved me a lot of misery.
And then I cut my own hair.
He cuts his own hair.
Yes.
Okay, go ahead. Take it away.
Okie-dope.
Cuts his own hair.
I just take the scissors, and I grab hair in my fist, and I just cut whatever
is in my fist.
There you go.
Everything's Funnier When Someone Gets Hurt.
They can.
Stab me.
Look at that.
What are you trying to pull?
You stabbed me.
I remember there was Dave's video collection.
I was assigned to find videos, and I worked incredibly hard on that, and I
found some great ones, and the segment was awesome.
This one's called It's Not Just Eating, and our first one is a guide to mealtime
etiquette entitled It's Not Just Eating.
Here we go.
Bones can come out again, or gristle, but don't spit it out.
What you should do is use your tongue to push the gristle onto your fork, then
put it on the plate quietly.
Eat it out.
That's fine.
That's fine.
Apparently these people purchased my mother's cookbook.
Here we have an Easy Rider video magazine. We'll be spending a moment with a
pair of motorcycle enthusiasts. Here we go. Easy Rider. Oh, hello.
Do you like this?
Oh, that's so neat.
Okay. I'll get my boots on and we'll be ready to go.
You look great.
There's a clip that you see of me in the shower smoking for the Late Show
cigarettes, and I still have the Late Show cigarette pack. My dog was a puppy
and chewed up a bunch of it, but I still kept this tattered. It's on its last
leg.
It's on its last legs, but I just can't get rid of it.
Late Show cigarettes. Moms love them. Dads love them. Doctors love them. The
perfect way to begin the day. The perfect way to end it.
If you want great taste and a fair price too, choose a cigarette that's good
for you. Smoke Late Show cigarettes. Try 'em today.
You know, I can't remember. I think it was probably a mailbag thing. How long
has Biff worked for me?
I think it was all about how pampered he was when I was his headset caddy, and
I would carry around his headset on this satin pillow.
Biff Henderson, stage manager. Susan Schreier, Biff Henderson's executive
assistant. Will Forte, Biff Henderson's headset tender.
Leslie Cahill, Biff Henderson's manicurist. Lyle Jones, Biff Henderson's tailor.
Ned Bennett, Biff Henderson's body double.
Father Philip Washburn, Biff Henderson's exorcist. David Letterman, Biff
Henderson's personal masseur.
The bane of my existence was know your current events. I didn't know how to
write those kinds of jokes.
But I would spend all my time stressed out trying to figure out how to crack
that nut and how to write good jokes in that style.
But I didn't spend as much time doing the stuff that I was good at because I
was trying to do the stuff I wasn't good at.
And so as a result, I wasn't really good at anything. I did go away from it
feeling pride in the fact that I got to work with my hero.
It was an experience I'll never forget. And again, a true honor.
When did you work here as a writer?
I was here, uh, '97 and '98.
And that apparently didn't work out because you left and actually found a life
for yourself.
Uh, it was a very pleasant experience working here.
Never liked doing talk shows, any of them.
Oh, what am I going to talk about?
This one was scary just because I had so much emotional baggage tied to the
show.
Like, here's my hero. I got to work at the show, but I didn't perform for him
in the way that I wish I had.
The last thing I want to do is annoy my hero and feel like my hero doesn't like
me.
And Dave was just wonderful to me.
I left there on cloud nine and I'm so thankful that he gave me that experience.
That was, that was a very special moment.
There is one scene in which I have to be completely naked and a piece of celery
figures into it in a very unseemly way.
A stalk of celery.
Yeah, a stalk of celery. You've seen the movie, so you know what I'm talking
about.
But, but, so I'm...
I think even by that description, even if I hadn't seen the movie, that would
be plenty for me.
Well, so I'm, I'm, I'm on this set and I'm completely naked and cupping my genitalia.
I'm about to place a piece of celery in a place that God did not intend celery
to go.
And, uh, I looked up and my mom had come to the set and she was there with her
two friends.
Oh, good.
And just the look on her face was...
And, uh, yeah, I, but, but, uh, so she's ready for the movie now.
Yeah, there you go.
Are we getting new McGruber soon?
We thought that it was dead after the movie.
So the fact that they let us make a TV show, but now it seems like it is dead
again.
So who never say never with McGruber.
I mean, obviously we would jump at the chance to do any McGruber stuff, but now
there is a complication because I owned the Miata.
It sat in my garage for 10 years until we did the TV show and we used it for
that until like a couple months ago.
And then I auctioned it off for, uh, my friend's charity and it's just made 55,000
bucks.
So that's a complication there.
We would need another, we would need that Miata.
So we'd have to rent the Miata or just get another Miata.
Here's a clip of me killing a guy with a shovel.
Roll it, Hal.
Sure.
No, I know.