Name: Jim Carrey Shaves His Head | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-12-15T23:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jim Carrey Shaves His Head | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jim Carrey Shaves His Head | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-15. Transcript available.

Our first guest tonight is a very funny man starring in a new film entitled
Eternal Sunshine
of the Spotless Mind. It opens on Friday. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Jim Carrey.
Oh, you missed it, man.
Oh, my. Welcome back to the show.
Yeah, baby.
First of all, thank you very much for coming in.
I mentioned this earlier, you don't need to be here.
You don't need to be doing this little nickel and dime dog and pony show.
I don't know where else to go.
I don't believe that, but we're grateful that you've showed up.
I'm so happy to be here.
Nice to see you. And your hair is different, and why is that?
I'm right.
Single white male, Dave.
Single white male.
I've been stalking you.
No.
And you're everything I want to be.
Well, there's a dream come true.
Uh, no, I just, you know, I have to change my look all the time.
Yeah.
Because, you know, I'm in show business, you've got to keep fresh.
It's, I'm kind of thought of as the Madonna of comedy, you know, always
reinventing myself
and stuff so that someday I can look out at that crowd and go, I'm 60 and sexy.
You know?
Madonna, 60 and sexy tour.
Uh-huh.
Well, it's certainly effective.
I mean, it's a real clean look.
A lot of people say I look like Lance Armstrong.
Especially when I do this.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
See, Dave?
Yeah.
Right now, what you're doing is drafting.
Yeah, I'm drafting.
You're drafting.
You're saving your energy for the end of the race.
And you're going to make your move pretty soon.
Okay.
Fantastic, isn't it?
There's no feeling like it, man.
It's great.
Yeah.
That's...
That could be a new dance.
Yeah.
See, around mile 50 is where I break away from the pack by just passing wind.
How you doing back there, Dave?
Fine.
That's something lovely to be near.
It's an image, you know.
Now, when you come to New York City, and I don't know how long you're going to
be in town,
but it's a beautiful day.
I mean, the spring, really, you can just feel it.
You can breathe it.
I love it.
It's fantastic.
And what is a guy like...
I'm like a rose in Spanish Harlem, creeping up through the sidewalk on a day
like today.
Do you get to...
I break through.
Do you get to go out and enjoy yourself at all when you're in town?
What kind of things can you do?
I love it.
You know, I was here for a long time last year.
I was here for about, oh, five months.
Well, they shot this film here.
Yeah, we shot the film.
And I had such a great time, because I'd never been here for more than a week.
Well, I had a blast.
I was using everything, man.
I was going down to, you know, I was Roosevelt Island playing tennis at night,
you know.
It was great.
I was in the subway.
I was eating stuff on the street, you know.
It's just not even from the vendors.
Yeah.
Just stuff on the street.
Yeah.
Because I was part of the city, you know.
I was part of it.
A real New York experience.
Yeah, exactly.
Steam over the manholes and stuff.
I just get a nice steam.
Please, your pours right out, man.
Fantastic.
And, uh, gosh, I went to Chelsea Pier to work out.
I worked out in the boxing ring at Chelsea Pier in front of the whole city.
And at the end of it, I would just say, that's right, New York.
That's what you call Krav Maga.
You know.
I'm sorry?
You call it what?
Krav Maga.
You ever hear that self-defense?
I don't know.
It's Israeli street fighting.
Oh, I see.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
It's fantastic.
See the corner of that?
Yeah.
I could force that into your brain right now.
All right.
But I won't.
Why not?
Go ahead.
It would be far too vulgar a display of my powers.
Now, you, uh...
Oh, my God.
My mom was right.
I'm stuck.
I'm sorry.
We had a point here.
Now, are you, uh, uh, I know when you're ever on the show, you're nice enough
to always
try new things, a little experimentational, uh, sort of, uh, interest in, in
always making
things, you know, like you said, keeping things fresh or...
I like to keep things interesting.
Experimental stuff.
Absolutely.
In my work and...
Do you have a little something for us tonight you're thinking about?
Well, even where I do the...
When I do the, uh, a talk show, it's, it's, it's really hard to do something
original.
You know.
I mean, you do it every day.
It's hard to...
Yeah, we gave up on that years ago.
Oh, really?
Okay, you let that go?
Well, you do the same old stuff so well.
You really do.
Well, that's what counts.
Uh, yeah, what were you talking about?
Oh, talking about, did you have something new you wanted to share with us
tonight?
Oh, yes, the experiment.
The experiment, the only thing I could think of, because I've been on so many
shows and promoting
and stuff, what's going to be rebellious nowadays?
Right.
You know, everybody's cursing, everybody's, it's like everything's crazy,
everybody's going
for the limit.
And I thought, well, what can be done?
And the only thing that I could think of on a talk show that has never been
done is not
to talk.
Sort of take a step back.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Well, just what, I mean, if we could do the little experiment, it'd be really
cool.
What are you talking about here?
Can we do it?
Can we experiment with this?
I mean, what it would be?
Well, I think it could be groundbreaking television.
I really do.
Well, you don't talk or I don't talk?
None of us talk.
Neither of us talk.
None of us talk.
You don't talk.
I don't talk.
We just sit here.
And the crowd, everybody, no one makes a sound or anything.
It's as if this isn't happening.
We're just sitting in the park all by ourselves.
The band doesn't play.
Nobody does anything.
Nobody speaks to each other.
And now, from now on, like in the next minute when people tune in all across
America, they're
going to see the freakiest television show they ever saw.
And they're live.
Right.
This will make history.
They'll just keep going.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's different.
It's counter-programming.
All right.
So when do we begin?
Let's begin right.
And we should continue directing the show as if we're talking, though, by the
way.
I'm a control freak.
I'll stop now.
Okay.
So starting now.
That's for both of us?
Yes.
Right now.
Oh, great.
That's really...
Can you excuse me, man?
Just a second.
Who is the cell phone?
Who's got the cell phone?
Who has the cell phone?
I see it coming from here.
Man.
Hey.
This is New York.
You should know better.
This is a theater community.
I'm sorry.
He can't speak to you right now.
No.
No.
No.
I'm sorry.
No, he can't.
I don't care.
I don't care how important his patients are.
Oh, oh.
Dan, go to commercial.
I've got to take a walk.
All right.
He'll be right back with Jim Carrey.
I was talking to the audience about this movie earlier, and it's helped me out
here.
It's people have their memories erased.
Yeah, Eternals Sunshine is about, you know, loss of love.
It's about being made invisible.
There are many people in here, I'm sure, that share the experience with me when
you realize
that they've gotten over you.
And that's basically what the movie is about in a figurative way.
It's my girlfriend is kind of compulsive, and she, played by Kate Winslet brilliantly,
by the way.
What a wonderful person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so she goes out and erases my memory.
And I find out about it.
And so I go back to do the same, but halfway through the process, it works in
reverse
inside my head.
So halfway through the process, we get to the good memories, the reasons why we
loved each
other.
And then I spend the rest of the movie trying to save whatever's left of her
memory.
Now, the man who directed this film is...
Michel Gondry.
French.
Yes, he's very French.
It was during the...
Now, what do you mean he's very French?
Well, there's French, and then there's very French, you know?
He's like, you know, he's like, you know, it's like, you know, don't say
anything bad
about the grape.
That was the grape.
You just have to really try hard to understand what he's saying.
It was very difficult, you know?
But he was such an innovator, so interesting.
All the special effects were done in camera, which means the, like, I would run
around the
camera and change my clothes if I'm in two places at the same time in a scene.
And it was just madness.
I was constantly arguing with him.
I can't do it.
It can't be done.
I can't physically do that back and forth three times.
And he would say, how do you know?
I'm going to do your job.
Oh, he's extremely French.
You know, with an attitude like that, there would never be a hot air balloon.
You must get in the balloon and fly.
And there's not a hot air balloon in the film, though, is there?
No, no.
But the French created the hot air balloon.
Oh, I see.
That's exactly right.
It goes right back to their core.
Now, let's just talk about this for a moment.
I'm stuck here.
Hold on.
I'm sorry.
If we did have the technology by which a person's memory could be erased, and I
guess it could
be done.
I guess it's some version of, like, electroshock.
What's your name again?
But are there things about your life that you would like removed from your life?
There's a couple of dates.
Oh, dates.
I wouldn't erase.
But I would definitely put them on the five-minute delay.
You know what I mean?
Because you say stuff.
You want to take back all the time, you know, constantly.
But I had one date, and you do things, too.
I have the Eugene factor working for me all the time, reminding me to not get
too serious.
And that is, you know, I put my date in the passenger seat of the wrong truck.
Well, I don't know.
What do you mean?
What is that?
I had a beautiful date.
We had a wonderful time, and it was going really swimmingly.
And then I got out on the sidewalk.
And I get nervous on the sidewalk, because people are looking at me,
photographers, whatever
is going on.
A lot of people waiting for their cars.
And I just saw a white vehicle come up, you know, in the thing, and I'm being
cool.
Hey, like that.
I'm going to give them a 20, by the way.
And I get her in the car, slam the door, walk around the car to the other side,
and there's
a woman getting in the driver's side of my car.
And I said, why are you getting into my truck?
And she said, why is this woman in my truck?
And I said, and then the valet turned to me and said, this is not your truck,
sir.
You know, and everybody's French now.
Sir, your truck.
Interesting.
C'est la garage.
No, so he told me it wasn't my truck, and I walked around the side again in
slow motion.
And I was like, I'm going to show her I'm an idiot.
And I opened the door and let her out of the stranger's truck and stood on the
sidewalk
for the rest of the time with people snickering behind me and stuff.
And I didn't even think about it.
I thought to myself later on, I'm rich, man.
I could have just bought the stupid truck right there.
That's right.
I could have bought the truck.
There you go.
Why be embarrassed by those types of things?
Crazy.
I tell you what, when we come back, we're going to take a look at a little bit
of Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
And then you'll see!
That's right, with Jim Carrey.
Now, we want to show a little clip of the film, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless
Mind.
Yes.
It opens on Friday.
It's interesting, it's different, it's fascinating.
Well, yeah, it's so original.
It really is.
It's Charlie Kaufman, who's completely, insanely original.
And by the way, you know, everybody has such reverence for his scripts that
there was like
a line I didn't understand.
So I called Michelle and I tried to get the explanation for him.
And he just went, and I went, okay, I'll call Charlie.
And I called Charlie and I said, this line, I want to make sure it goes well,
it's right.
Whatever, I gave him the line.
He said, I don't know, just take it out.
Just take it out.
Just take it out.
So, so, all this reverence for nothing.
He's like, I don't remember what I was thinking.
I think I was drunk.
I think I was drunk.
But anyway, so this, you know, this clip, I want to set it up properly.
Yes, please do.
And is John back there?
John?
John's going to come out and help me out with this.
Who is John, by the way?
Well, John is going to do a little thing with my hair.
Is he with you?
Yes, he's with the show.
With the show.
Don't you know him?
He's been here for 20 years, for God's sake.
Dave, go through the office every once in a while.
All right, I will.
Okay, so what, he's going to help me out by shaving a little portion of my head.
What?
He's just going to shave a tiny bit of hair off here, just to make the
demonstration go smoothly.
See, it's such a different film, you know, that I really wanted to give it a
different kind of platform.
It's kind of a heady project, you know?
And, yeah, thanks.
And so.
Thanks, John.
Nice job.
Thank you very much, John.
Good to see you again.
Now, thank you, John.
Now, this clip, this clip is a clip about, let me get ready here.
Okay, this clip is, and feel free to move my head if I'm not in the right place.
That's all right.
Are you, were you in the A.V. club?
Because I guess that's where this all comes from.
I was part of the A.V. club.
Anyway, so the clip is a memory in the movie that is being erased, an
unpleasant memory that
Joel's having that's being erased.
Uh-huh.
Let's talk about it later.
No.
I want to have a baby.
I don't think we're ready.
You're not ready.
Clem, do you really think you could take care of a kid?
No.
What?
I don't want to talk about it here.
I can't hear you.
I can never the fuck understand what you're saying.
I said I don't want to talk about this.
We're fucking going to talk about it.
I don't want to talk about it.
You can't just say something like that and say you don't want to talk about it.
I'm sorry, Clem.
I'd make a fucking good mother.
Wow.
The whole movie takes place inside my head, so I figured.
The weird thing is that my head, they found out, is the perfect aspect ratio
for this film.
That's why I'm doing it.
And let me ask you something.
Do you think shaving your head was worth it?
Walking around like that now is going to be okay?
I guess it'll be funny, me in the hotel room tonight, just watching it, going.
I've got to laugh, though, right?
That guy's fine.
I've got to laugh, though.
Well, thanks again, Jim, for making the effort to be here.
We always enjoy it.
No problem, Dave.
Anytime I can come here and self-mutilate, I'll do that.
I appreciate that.
The film opens on Friday, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Jim Carrey, ladies and gentlemen.
Nice job, Jim.
Thank you very much.
Have so much fun.

Jim Carrey Shaves His Head | Letterman

Our first guest tonight is a very funny man starring in a new film entitled
Eternal Sunshine
of the Spotless Mind. It opens on Friday. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Jim Carrey.
Oh, you missed it, man.
Oh, my. Welcome back to the show.
Yeah, baby.
First of all, thank you very much for coming in.
I mentioned this earlier, you don't need to be here.
You don't need to be doing this little nickel and dime dog and pony show.
I don't know where else to go.
I don't believe that, but we're grateful that you've showed up.
I'm so happy to be here.
Nice to see you. And your hair is different, and why is that?
I'm right.
Single white male, Dave.
Single white male.
I've been stalking you.
No.
And you're everything I want to be.
Well, there's a dream come true.
Uh, no, I just, you know, I have to change my look all the time.
Yeah.
Because, you know, I'm in show business, you've got to keep fresh.
It's, I'm kind of thought of as the Madonna of comedy, you know, always
reinventing myself
and stuff so that someday I can look out at that crowd and go, I'm 60 and sexy.
You know?
Madonna, 60 and sexy tour.
Uh-huh.
Well, it's certainly effective.
I mean, it's a real clean look.
A lot of people say I look like Lance Armstrong.
Especially when I do this.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
See, Dave?
Yeah.
Right now, what you're doing is drafting.
Yeah, I'm drafting.
You're drafting.
You're saving your energy for the end of the race.
And you're going to make your move pretty soon.
Okay.
Fantastic, isn't it?
There's no feeling like it, man.
It's great.
Yeah.
That's...
That could be a new dance.
Yeah.
See, around mile 50 is where I break away from the pack by just passing wind.
How you doing back there, Dave?
Fine.
That's something lovely to be near.
It's an image, you know.
Now, when you come to New York City, and I don't know how long you're going to
be in town,
but it's a beautiful day.
I mean, the spring, really, you can just feel it.
You can breathe it.
I love it.
It's fantastic.
And what is a guy like...
I'm like a rose in Spanish Harlem, creeping up through the sidewalk on a day
like today.
Do you get to...
I break through.
Do you get to go out and enjoy yourself at all when you're in town?
What kind of things can you do?
I love it.
You know, I was here for a long time last year.
I was here for about, oh, five months.
Well, they shot this film here.
Yeah, we shot the film.
And I had such a great time, because I'd never been here for more than a week.
Well, I had a blast.
I was using everything, man.
I was going down to, you know, I was Roosevelt Island playing tennis at night,
you know.
It was great.
I was in the subway.
I was eating stuff on the street, you know.
It's just not even from the vendors.
Yeah.
Just stuff on the street.
Yeah.
Because I was part of the city, you know.
I was part of it.
A real New York experience.
Yeah, exactly.
Steam over the manholes and stuff.
I just get a nice steam.
Please, your pours right out, man.
Fantastic.
And, uh, gosh, I went to Chelsea Pier to work out.
I worked out in the boxing ring at Chelsea Pier in front of the whole city.
And at the end of it, I would just say, that's right, New York.
That's what you call Krav Maga.
You know.
I'm sorry?
You call it what?
Krav Maga.
You ever hear that self-defense?
I don't know.
It's Israeli street fighting.
Oh, I see.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
It's fantastic.
See the corner of that?
Yeah.
I could force that into your brain right now.
All right.
But I won't.
Why not?
Go ahead.
It would be far too vulgar a display of my powers.
Now, you, uh...
Oh, my God.
My mom was right.
I'm stuck.
I'm sorry.
We had a point here.
Now, are you, uh, uh, I know when you're ever on the show, you're nice enough
to always
try new things, a little experimentational, uh, sort of, uh, interest in, in
always making
things, you know, like you said, keeping things fresh or...
I like to keep things interesting.
Experimental stuff.
Absolutely.
In my work and...
Do you have a little something for us tonight you're thinking about?
Well, even where I do the...
When I do the, uh, a talk show, it's, it's, it's really hard to do something
original.
You know.
I mean, you do it every day.
It's hard to...
Yeah, we gave up on that years ago.
Oh, really?
Okay, you let that go?
Well, you do the same old stuff so well.
You really do.
Well, that's what counts.
Uh, yeah, what were you talking about?
Oh, talking about, did you have something new you wanted to share with us
tonight?
Oh, yes, the experiment.
The experiment, the only thing I could think of, because I've been on so many
shows and promoting
and stuff, what's going to be rebellious nowadays?
Right.
You know, everybody's cursing, everybody's, it's like everything's crazy,
everybody's going
for the limit.
And I thought, well, what can be done?
And the only thing that I could think of on a talk show that has never been
done is not
to talk.
Sort of take a step back.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Well, just what, I mean, if we could do the little experiment, it'd be really
cool.
What are you talking about here?
Can we do it?
Can we experiment with this?
I mean, what it would be?
Well, I think it could be groundbreaking television.
I really do.
Well, you don't talk or I don't talk?
None of us talk.
Neither of us talk.
None of us talk.
You don't talk.
I don't talk.
We just sit here.
And the crowd, everybody, no one makes a sound or anything.
It's as if this isn't happening.
We're just sitting in the park all by ourselves.
The band doesn't play.
Nobody does anything.
Nobody speaks to each other.
And now, from now on, like in the next minute when people tune in all across
America, they're
going to see the freakiest television show they ever saw.
And they're live.
Right.
This will make history.
They'll just keep going.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's different.
It's counter-programming.
All right.
So when do we begin?
Let's begin right.
And we should continue directing the show as if we're talking, though, by the
way.
I'm a control freak.
I'll stop now.
Okay.
So starting now.
That's for both of us?
Yes.
Right now.
Oh, great.
That's really...
Can you excuse me, man?
Just a second.
Who is the cell phone?
Who's got the cell phone?
Who has the cell phone?
I see it coming from here.
Man.
Hey.
This is New York.
You should know better.
This is a theater community.
I'm sorry.
He can't speak to you right now.
No.
No.
No.
I'm sorry.
No, he can't.
I don't care.
I don't care how important his patients are.
Oh, oh.
Dan, go to commercial.
I've got to take a walk.
All right.
He'll be right back with Jim Carrey.
I was talking to the audience about this movie earlier, and it's helped me out
here.
It's people have their memories erased.
Yeah, Eternals Sunshine is about, you know, loss of love.
It's about being made invisible.
There are many people in here, I'm sure, that share the experience with me when
you realize
that they've gotten over you.
And that's basically what the movie is about in a figurative way.
It's my girlfriend is kind of compulsive, and she, played by Kate Winslet brilliantly,
by the way.
What a wonderful person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so she goes out and erases my memory.
And I find out about it.
And so I go back to do the same, but halfway through the process, it works in
reverse
inside my head.
So halfway through the process, we get to the good memories, the reasons why we
loved each
other.
And then I spend the rest of the movie trying to save whatever's left of her
memory.
Now, the man who directed this film is...
Michel Gondry.
French.
Yes, he's very French.
It was during the...
Now, what do you mean he's very French?
Well, there's French, and then there's very French, you know?
He's like, you know, he's like, you know, it's like, you know, don't say
anything bad
about the grape.
That was the grape.
You just have to really try hard to understand what he's saying.
It was very difficult, you know?
But he was such an innovator, so interesting.
All the special effects were done in camera, which means the, like, I would run
around the
camera and change my clothes if I'm in two places at the same time in a scene.
And it was just madness.
I was constantly arguing with him.
I can't do it.
It can't be done.
I can't physically do that back and forth three times.
And he would say, how do you know?
I'm going to do your job.
Oh, he's extremely French.
You know, with an attitude like that, there would never be a hot air balloon.
You must get in the balloon and fly.
And there's not a hot air balloon in the film, though, is there?
No, no.
But the French created the hot air balloon.
Oh, I see.
That's exactly right.
It goes right back to their core.
Now, let's just talk about this for a moment.
I'm stuck here.
Hold on.
I'm sorry.
If we did have the technology by which a person's memory could be erased, and I
guess it could
be done.
I guess it's some version of, like, electroshock.
What's your name again?
But are there things about your life that you would like removed from your life?
There's a couple of dates.
Oh, dates.
I wouldn't erase.
But I would definitely put them on the five-minute delay.
You know what I mean?
Because you say stuff.
You want to take back all the time, you know, constantly.
But I had one date, and you do things, too.
I have the Eugene factor working for me all the time, reminding me to not get
too serious.
And that is, you know, I put my date in the passenger seat of the wrong truck.
Well, I don't know.
What do you mean?
What is that?
I had a beautiful date.
We had a wonderful time, and it was going really swimmingly.
And then I got out on the sidewalk.
And I get nervous on the sidewalk, because people are looking at me,
photographers, whatever
is going on.
A lot of people waiting for their cars.
And I just saw a white vehicle come up, you know, in the thing, and I'm being
cool.
Hey, like that.
I'm going to give them a 20, by the way.
And I get her in the car, slam the door, walk around the car to the other side,
and there's
a woman getting in the driver's side of my car.
And I said, why are you getting into my truck?
And she said, why is this woman in my truck?
And I said, and then the valet turned to me and said, this is not your truck,
sir.
You know, and everybody's French now.
Sir, your truck.
Interesting.
C'est la garage.
No, so he told me it wasn't my truck, and I walked around the side again in
slow motion.
And I was like, I'm going to show her I'm an idiot.
And I opened the door and let her out of the stranger's truck and stood on the
sidewalk
for the rest of the time with people snickering behind me and stuff.
And I didn't even think about it.
I thought to myself later on, I'm rich, man.
I could have just bought the stupid truck right there.
That's right.
I could have bought the truck.
There you go.
Why be embarrassed by those types of things?
Crazy.
I tell you what, when we come back, we're going to take a look at a little bit
of Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
And then you'll see!
That's right, with Jim Carrey.
Now, we want to show a little clip of the film, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless
Mind.
Yes.
It opens on Friday.
It's interesting, it's different, it's fascinating.
Well, yeah, it's so original.
It really is.
It's Charlie Kaufman, who's completely, insanely original.
And by the way, you know, everybody has such reverence for his scripts that
there was like
a line I didn't understand.
So I called Michelle and I tried to get the explanation for him.
And he just went, and I went, okay, I'll call Charlie.
And I called Charlie and I said, this line, I want to make sure it goes well,
it's right.
Whatever, I gave him the line.
He said, I don't know, just take it out.
Just take it out.
Just take it out.
So, so, all this reverence for nothing.
He's like, I don't remember what I was thinking.
I think I was drunk.
I think I was drunk.
But anyway, so this, you know, this clip, I want to set it up properly.
Yes, please do.
And is John back there?
John?
John's going to come out and help me out with this.
Who is John, by the 