Name: Holiday Fun With Dave's Mom | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-12-18T16:00:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Holiday Fun With Dave's Mom | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Holiday Fun With Dave's Mom | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-18. Transcript available.

Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, here is my mom on the phone.
Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from Indianapolis, Indiana, let's see the...
There it is.
Okay.
Now, originally, we were going to have her live via the satellite, but because
of the snow...
You know what the hell that snow can play with a satellite?
You get snow at 30,000, 40,000 feet in orbit.
That's difficult.
So instead of having her live, we have her live here on the telephone.
The next voice you hear will be that of my lovely mother in Indiana.
Hello?
Hello.
Hello, Mom.
It's me, Dave.
Hi, Dave.
There she is right there.
Mom, how are the holidays going for you out there in Indiana?
They're going just great.
Uh-huh.
You know, Indiana is the Hoosier state.
I know that.
What's the population of Indiana, Mom?
I have no idea.
Uh-huh.
You know the number one agricultural resource of Indiana?
Probably corn or soybeans.
Excellent.
Nice going, Mom.
Coincidentally, that's what Mom always gives me for Christmas, corn and
soybeans.
Soy.
You got a lovely gift assortment from Fannie Mae.
It's just delightful.
Fannie Mae.
Uh, so, Mom, are you getting any snow there yourself?
Yes.
We have about eight inches that fell today.
Oh, really?
Now, did it fall in one fell swoop or did it fall in two parts?
It snowed all day almost.
Snowed all day almost.
Now, see, here they're saying we get one batch of 12 inches and then another
batch of, like,
six inches.
But the first batch was only an eighth of an inch.
No, no.
What do you mean, no, no, no?
It doesn't work like that.
You're 1,800 miles away.
What do you mean, no, no, no?
Oh, you mean you're having that in New York, right?
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
All right, I'm sorry.
I misunderstood.
Speaking Chinese all of a sudden.
Oh, no.
Mom, and by the way, because it is so delightful with the snow, three lucky
audience members
right now are on their way downtown to a gutted building to frolic in the snow.
Well, I wouldn't like to frolic in the snow in a gutted building.
Okay, fine.
Thank you very much.
Go to Central Park to frolic in the snow.
All right, this concludes the question and answer portion of the pageant.
Let's go right to the evening gown competition.
Mom, now, the reason we're calling, we're interested in you showing us a
typical day in your life
during the holiday season.
And I know the boys were out there yesterday, and you were nice enough to spend
your afternoon
with them to kind of show you what life is like for you during the holidays.
Is that right?
That's right.
All right, we have the videotape loaded up and ready to go.
Here we go.
My mom, a typical day during the holiday season.
Hang on, Mom.
I'm going to put you on hold.
There you go.
All right.
Every morning, I give David a call at work.
Hello?
Hello?
David?
No, ma'am.
I've told you.
He doesn't work here anymore.
I'm sorry.
I always make sure to buy plenty of eggnog for when David comes to visit.
Then I bake pies with my other son, Chester.
I save money by wrapping all my gifts with David's old speeding tickets.
Even during the holidays, I make time to give Dave a hand.
I look forward each year to hanging one of my favorite Christmas tree ornaments.
Every year about this time, I can expect my gift from Dave to arrive.
This year is no different.
I constantly have to stoke the fire to keep the house nice and warm.
Time for an eggnog break.
Okay.
Okay.
Wow.
Nice job, Mom.
We all enjoyed that.
And it looks like you're enjoying yourself not only today, but throughout the
rest of the holidays.
And have a Merry Christmas, and I'll talk to you soon.
Thank you, David.
All right.
Take care, Mom.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
There you go.
Bye-bye.
There you go.
That's good.
Snowballs.
Oh, look, Paul.
We got the snowballs.
Oh, my goodness.
God, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anton, you ready?
Oh.
Well, where did it go?
Well, it was close.
Oh, okay.
Well, it'll only be a small electrical fire.
I'll see you later.