Name: Sandra Bernhard's Problem With Movie Sex Scenes | Letterman
Uploaded: 2023-12-26T23:00:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sandra Bernhard's Problem With Movie Sex Scenes | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sandra Bernhard's Problem With Movie Sex Scenes | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-26. Transcript available.

it's always a pleasure to welcome my first guest to this show she is the recent
recipient of the
harvard lampoon's rising young performer award and she will be appearing this
new year's eve
at the red creek in oh this would be a nice gig in rochester new york
a very talented woman please welcome sandra bernhardt
how you doing how you doing new year's eve at the red creek inn i can't wait is
that going to be tough
it's gonna be hot have you worked i've been i've been to rochester twice this
is a good place to be
i'm moving red creek inn i haven't played there yet it's my first time oh i see
but new year's eve
audiences have you ever worked on a new year's eve it's a policy of mine to
work new year's eve i'm
very superstitious because i feel like if i work the last day of the year i'll
work the first day
well that makes that makes sense makes a little bit of sense but you know it
can be tough you know
sometimes i can handle it i know you can't i know you can't no congratulations
on this lampoon award
oh it was thrilling it was absolutely thank you
what a bunch of arrogant little snot nose
oh well no i walked into this infamous castle and these kids didn't know who
the hell i was
talking amongst themselves you know the pimply face president all the
traditional things that
that harvard is famous for frankly i resented it i was now uh it didn't go like
you had hoped apparently
no it didn't not at all now what what is the award is it a trophy a cashier's
check yeah it was a trophy
of some sort of like a you know tacky cheap thing that they threw they threw
together the last minute
expect me to be excited about it and they all think i'm gonna call my uh
producer friends in hollywood and
get them jobs but uh i've taken care of that put an end to that little notion
it's a it's a refreshing uh
attitude you have here about winning this award uh now you did you did you have
to pay your airfare up
to uh harvard no i was up there working anyway so i killed three birds with one
stone yeah yeah well i'm
sorry that didn't go as you had hoped well that's okay let me ask you about
this uh this publication
here oh the bizarre this is uh harper's bizarre and you have an article in here
about uh bachelors and
you weren't in there unfortunately so i couldn't i couldn't write about you the
america's ten most
desirable bachelors yes right all right we have here uh and you wonder why they're
bachelors unfortunately
half of them are so it's really i guess that's why you weren't included david
now i guess we won't be
able to talk about them no we can't there's nothing we can say about them now
because you we can't talk
about tom cruise though he's one of the exceptions tom cruise from who was so
very very very hot and
risky business that i lost my mind several times now have you ever met tom no i
haven't he's going
out with somebody else and i'm furious uh-huh now is there anybody else here
that we would like to
mention uh burt reynolds do you know burt reynolds bert and i go way back we
have the same toupee maker
oh nobody knows let me let me let me read what you said here about burt
burt reynolds this is what sandra says man he's had every chicken hollywood
turned inside out
from dinah shore to sally field did you notice how hostile sally was in smoky
and the bandit part two
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah now richard gear here's richard gear uh i personally
am sick and tired
sweaty t-shirts well he's always nude funky underwear he's hideous put him away
somewhere
put him in a dark room and hope for the best he's just he just bulldozes around
in tank top t-shirts
running his fingers through his hair the best moment with gear was when he
mixed and matched his shorts
and ties in american gigolo i think it was shirts and ties although i think
shorts and ties would have
been more productive oh i see it is shirts and ties kind of a strange slip for
me isn't it
before i forget a little something for christmas and christmas wouldn't be
completed you know you're
very nice about bringing gifts here i really am let's do this we'll take a we'll
take a commercial
break we'll come back and we'll open the package sandra bernhardt and i will
return thank you paul
welcome back to the show sandra bernhardt is here dennis quaid is here here's
the key to the townhouse
uptown here's to my summer home the beach house the maserati uh-huh and the
rolls oh my so we'll
have these duplicated for you no they're for you i already had them duplicated
oh they're for me
oh very nice very nice and i have a lovely one of these cabbage patch dolls for
you
keep that in a hot place you'll enjoy it all year long oh new boots those are
new socks oh now this
looks like something that was a motorcycle thing it was a fringe benefit of the
space program like this
it was this is something that was developed the right stuff did you see that
movie yes i did it
wasn't dennis quaid terrific yes but he wouldn't say hello to me backstage well
he really wouldn't
he pretended he didn't know me we've met several times i was very hurt and very
angry but we won't
talk about it would you like me to introduce you to dennis quaid no it's too
late are you sure no of
course we could get him out here and take a little time away from you and have
him meet you no i think
all right now do you mind if i open all right and while i open this tell me
what you've been doing
where have you been lately um well i saw you at the imperial gardens out in l.a
having dinner with
sammy davis jr and everybody um which was super we were with paul schaefer as a
matter of fact and
george miller and meryl marco who by the way is never here when i'm on the show
i noticed that's
your girlfriend right no she's here she never says boo to me no she's here she's
having a long talk with
dennis quaid oh i see thank you you know what you know i'm writing a uh screenplay
you know this thank
goodness you know i'm out uh no christmas is complete without it that's right
that's right let's get
this let's get it out now let's take a shower now i waste another minute oh oh
it's it's a kind of a
it's more of a bracelet affair yeah something lovely that's very nice i used to
make the rope
a little longer and this is uh the old spice thank you very much those are both
very thoughtful gifts
i think so and i think they're beautiful yeah they're very nice thank you very
much for doing
them now what were you saying that you've been anywhere besides l.a i got a
deal to write my first
screenplay well you must be very excited i'm very excited about it um it's tentatively
called it came
from poland and um no that's true and it's for me and hana shagula my german
actress friend who by the
way sends her regards and calls you david leatherman david leatherman well my
friend david leatherman
i don't i've never met no you haven't met you well she'll be on the show when
we certainly look forward
to that uh um now uh uh so when when they have some films that have made me weep
this year oh sure
yeah they have some films for your eyes this year i mean weeping time i just
saw um terms of endearment
yeah broke down yeah total basket case the sounds thank god deborah winger wasn't
sleeping with
somebody again though i don't know what that means well you know every actress
i don't know if i don't
know if most people react sexually the way people like deborah winger and jacqueline
beset do but i
know that i'm a little calmer about it and frankly i think it's fascinating and
i want to meet them and
discuss it with them now are you it's no it's the it's the i'm losing i am
losing control thing you
know i did it with the jacqueline beset thing though oh oh kind of thing and it's
it doesn't work for me
it just doesn't work for me i've had some exciting i've had some exciting
bedroom experiences as you
know david and yet i've never really helped with it oh oh oh this is fabulous
oh i'm dying it's so
incredible incredible oh i've uh i've only i've only seen you've only just
and they have wait a minute but you're talking about now in the in the movie
you're not talking
about in actual real life no that's what yes i am talking about the movie i see
which is what i'm
trying to say that i don't understand they're portraying women as these mad
sexual beasts yeah well
now terms of endearment will make you weep just weep and weep and weep and you
just and testament
have you seen testament no i haven't seen that one i'll tell you i want to go
out and roast some
marshmallows afterwards that's also bad mood for you no it was real sad and uh
it's like the day
after only a little more real yeah yeah you know now uh you you're doing some
more modeling i am doing
a um lingerie layout for gq well that's nice i think so yeah and uh when when
could we look forward
to seeing that i don't know when that'll be out but i'm doing it thursday if
you want to stop by
no no and see me in my calvin klein boxer shorts i think it's really important
for a gal to have a
fly in her underwear just for those moments when you think you can go to the
bathroom standing up
well well uh that's certainly in keeping with the holiday spirit here uh sandra
it's good to see
again and have a have a good holiday and have fun have yourself a merry little
christmas new year's
eve up there in rochester for making this your very own special for me well
thank you very much for
for all your wonderful moments and the slow gifts and to the american public
for all they've made me
we'll be back folks thank you sandra nice job nice to see you