Name: Dave's Record Collection: It's Time For Regis! | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-01-01T15:58:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Record Collection: It's Time For Regis! | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Record Collection: It's Time For Regis! | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-01. Transcript available.

Here's a little story. Listen to this. This is a story about how I think Tom
Brokaw,
Tom Brokaw has been on our program. He's been very, very nice to us. The man
who anchors the
nightly news here at NBC, a more respected television journalist, journalist,
period,
you're not going to find him, Tom Brokaw. A nice man, solid family man, seems
to be reasonably
rooted in life and society and the global community, I might add. So this is a
little
story now, how I'm talking to Tom and in talking to Tom, I'm getting the
feeling that, hey,
Tom's a regular guy and if Tom's talking to me, therefore I must be a regular
guy. Tom comes
by rehearsal this afternoon and he invites me to go to a basketball game and I
can't go because I'm
very, very busy. And so we're talking and we're chatting and we talked about
sports and we talked
about the Olympics and I'm thinking, it's Tom Brokaw, Mr. Nightly News Big Shot,
solid member
of the global community, talking to me, Dave, with this little nickel dime
squirrel show we do.
And I'm saying to myself, well, Dave, you must be a regular guy because would
Tom be talking to
you if you weren't? And moreover, Tom must be a regular guy. And I'm feeling
pretty good about
the conversation and I said, Tom, you know how you get a little cocky in a
conversation?
I do. So I spoke right up and I said, Tom, using his name, I said, did you see
the NBA
all-star game? Because those are things regular guys talk about. And Tom says,
no, I was in
Moscow. Ooh, wow. Boom. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll just. That was the end of that.
Yeah, you can't talk. He got back in the limo and was dust. Just boom. Got back
in the big NBC News
limo. There he goes. Now, meow. He had been in Moscow. Yeah, you can't talk.
You know what he does? He goes over there. He told me he goes over there and he
buys up all the black market vodka he can.
And then he sells it at the airport and he says he makes a fortune.
Paul, now, wait a minute. This is the first new thing we've developed in five
years. I got to get on the stick. And if you don't get it, I'm going to have to
start levying fines. I'll get on it. Believe me, I will. Are you going to start
fining the band like James Brown? If you miss it once more. Okay. All right.
This is beverage music. This is all new for now.
Number 92.
Tom couldn't be nicer, but I must tell you one thing. It was 2.30 in the
afternoon. He was wearing makeup.
So I just, you know, what kind of a guy puts on his makeup for a 6.30 newscast
at noon?
Or is he leaving the house like that?
No, Dave. I didn't see the little basketball game. I was in Moscow.
You little weasel. I had my hands full over there.
Okay. These are actual records I brought in last night. I was up late listening
to some of my records and I thought I'm going to bring these in and share them
with the home viewers. Here's one.
Ronald McDonald visits America. Let's listen to a little bit of this.
Ronald McDonald.
Hi there. I'm Ronald McDonald. And you and I are about to discover America
together. We'll visit all the states and travel thousands of miles.
Ronald McDonald. And then we'll find out what a clown smells like after six
days in a van.
Thank you.
People actually screaming themselves hoarse.
Here's an old album from Wolfman Jack. We're going to be listening to Sweet
Caroline. Here we go. Wolfman Jack.
Touching one. Touching one. Reaching out. Touching me. Touching you.
Wolfman Jack. Wolfman Jack. Wolfman Jack. Wolfman Jack. Can we get you a Luden's.
Okay. This is Carlton Frederick's Ph.D. Let's listen to a little bit of this
now. Carlton Frederick's Ph.D.
You're overweight. You have a bay window. Your posture is bad. Skin is blotchy.
Your eyes are bleary or more specifically there's infiltration of the cornea.
The red blood vessels running into the white of the eye.
I said you've got a bad case of dandruff. Your feet evidently bother you. You've
got special shoes on.
Okay. Great. Now can you tell us about Siskel?
Oh, no.
Okay. This is Mr. Rogers. The album is entitled You Are Special and we'll be
listening to Troll Talk.
You know, I think he needs to ventilate the workshop when he's painting the
puppets.
But they liked it.
Okay. Let's go on. We're going to skip that one. Oh, can we skip one in a
record collection? We can skip one.
We have the capability of skipping ahead in record collection. We are truly
living in an age of miracles.
Karate for beginners.
Let's listen to this now.
Karate for beginners.
Uh-huh.
Punch six.
Punch seven.
Punch eight.
More power.
Punch nine.
Punch ten.
Sounds like a German shepherd trying to unload a bone, doesn't it?
Once again, they're howling with delight.
U-Haul Trailers.
The name of the group is U-Haul Trailers and we're going to be listening to
Rock On With U-Haul.
Here we go.
Rocking on with you all the rolling across the U-S-A.
Rocking on with you all the rolling across the U-S-A.
This is an unbelievable coincidence.
That's the same song that Mr. Big is going to do later on the show.
I don't know.
We didn't plan it.
It just turned out.
What an amazing...
Coincidence.
Fred Bear tells his secrets of hunting to Kurt Gowdy.
Here we go.
And really, if some of our teenage thrill seekers really want to go out and get
a thrill,
let him go up into the northwest and tangle with a grizzly bear or a polar bear
or a brown bear.
They'll get their feels that way.
I agree with you.
Hey, listen.
We could talk here all night.
We've got to go hunting in the morning.
We say we hit the side.
Good idea.
Kurt sounds like kind of a thrill seeker himself, doesn't he?
All right.
We're going down to the last one.
Here we go.
And as you can see, I have an album here entitled It's Time for Regis.
And we'll be listening to Toot Toot Tootsie Goodbye.
Time for Regis.
Yes, sir.
Bye-bye, Toots.
Bye-bye, Tootsie.
Soccer to them, Tootsie.
Now you understand why Regis and I don't carpool anymore.
There you go.
Actual records from my personal home record collection.
Ah, we have to do a commercial.
Debbie Chase will be out here in a minute.
Thanks for being on.