Name: Macaulay Culkin's First Role On "Late Night" | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-01-02T23:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Macaulay Culkin's First Role On "Late Night" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Macaulay Culkin's First Role On "Late Night" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-02. Transcript available.

- Do a spit take for me.
- Do a spit take?
- Yeah.
- I can do one.
- All right, hurry and do one.
- All right, well, you say Uncle Tanoose is on his way.
- Uncle Tanoose is on his way.
- Tanoose is on his way?
- What are you getting at?
- Is he over there, Morty, is he over there?
You know who does the best spit takes in show business?
- No question about it.
- Who, who?
- Danny Thomas.
- He's across the hall.
Morty, go over and get him.
- Yes, sir.
- He's across the hall?
- Our producer, Morty, will go over there right now.
We'll get Danny Thomas.
A little Morty getting Danny Thomas music ball.
He's going on the air shortly.
- Got he hearing it?
- Oh man, that was Frankenstein ball.
- One second, did you spit that?
- What happened?
Get him out, hurry, Morty, hurry.
- One second, on here.
- Oh, they're going into the studio.
Oh, now, now you're going to see a fist fight.
We're not allowed, we're not allowed into the studio.
Are they on the air?
All right, peek around the corner and let's see.
You know, you know who does the second best spit take
in show business?
Liz Smith, right there.
Let's get Liz over here to do a spit take for us.
All right, bring Morty back, bring him back.
Where's Morty?
Have Morty return to home base.
There's nothing more to be seen here now.
Hey, Morty.
So now what happened, Morty?
Hey, now wait a minute, hey, hey, see it.
Well, how long's he going to be?
Well, that's just a little nickel and dime,
gum and cracker show.
What about, what about Liz Smith?
Ask her to do a spit take.
Oh, this will be good.
Now he is going to get punched.
Go, Morty.
Ask, wait a minute.
Hey, Liz, what are you going to do?
Oh, no, never mind.
Hey, stop it, stop it.
Get him back here.
There's Danny Thomas.
And he's, oh, maybe he'll do one.
Wait a minute.
He was, hold it, let's see it.
He was just drinking something.
Oh, and, oh, he's very close to--
he looks like maybe he needs some sort of bromo.
There he is now.
He's the wife.
He's certainly having the time of his life, isn't he?
You know, there's talk of putting him on Mount Rushmore,
and now he's looking at his watch.
That's a good sign that he's being fully
entertained over there.
Many of our audience members doing that now.
Oh, good.
All right, Morty, the second he's available,
bring him over here and we'll have him spit.
What better way to kick off the new year?
Let me tell you, it's on the program.
Macaulay Culkin is here from "Staying Home."
Home alone.
Oh, no, it's "Home Alone."
You know what the movie is, Paul.
Oh, it's the biggest.
The little kid, his family's going to Europe
and they leave him home alone and burglars try to get him.
It's the biggest blockbuster good time feeling hit.
That's right, it's made like $150 million.
A million dollars.
A little bitty kid, like 10 years old, stars of the film.
What is his cut of that?
Oh, I don't know.
I would think that he gets at least 30, 40% of that.
Yeah, let's ask him.
Morty, is Danny Thomas ready to come over and spit for us?
There he is now, telling us a story about Jessel.
I'm guessing that's what that story is there.
He and Jessel are in a steam bath somewhere.
That's how that story goes.
So, now, Paul, when I did my little spit take,
and it wasn't much of a spit take,
I turned this microphone off.
I burned out a microphone.
Did you?
You burned out a microphone?
Yeah, it got just a tiny amount of moisture on it.
It went to hell.
Wow.
What about those Jacques Cousteau things
where the guy is actually under the water
and you can hear him talk?
Yeah.
Well, here's your microphone, but don't spit on it.
All right.
Is he ready?
Bring out the young man.
Man, look at this, Paul.
Tonight it's like two shows in one.
Excuse me.
Pardon me, madam.
At the tender age of 10, 10.
This young man is 10 years old.
Wow.
Our first guest is one of the biggest movie stars
in American films.
His latest motion picture, Home Alone,
was one of the biggest hits of 1990.
Ladies and gentlemen, here's Macaulay Culkin.
Macaulay.
How are you doing?
Okay.
Boy, congratulations on all your success
and happy new year to you.
Thank you.
Are you very, very happy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
If this movie had not done well,
would you be any less happy?
Um, well--
Does it make any real difference in your life
is what I'm trying to say?
Mm, kind of.
Yeah.
How did you get into films?
Um, well, a friend of mine was like a stage manager
and they wanted a kid for this part in a play.
Well, I got the part and all these people,
you know, like directors and wanted me to audition
for their movie, so I got the--
You've been in other films, though.
This is not your first film, right?
Yeah.
What was the first film you were in?
Um, it was called Rocket Gibraltar.
Rocket?
Gibraltar.
Rocket Gibraltar.
Yes.
Is it a space movie?
No.
No.
It's a-- it's a what?
Um, it's just this movie about, like,
this grandfather wanted, um, a Viking funeral,
so all these kids found this boat named Rocket.
Yeah, it's a nice, nice movie.
It's a nice movie.
It's a nice movie.
But it-- it didn't make $150 million
like the other one did, did it?
Yeah.
What?
Now I hear Dan-- I hear Morty talking over there.
Morty, we're doing a show here.
What-- what's now?
Danny is ready.
Oh, do you know Danny Thomas?
Yeah.
Would you-- would you like to meet him?
OK.
All right, here.
Stay right there.
Bring him in.
Have a seat over there.
I finally got on your show.
Yeah.
Happy New Year, Danny.
Thank you very much for dropping five.
Thank you.
My best to Phil and Marlo.
Thank you.
You're very kind.
My best to Phil and Marlo, too.
You know-- you know why we were very excited that you were here tonight?
Uh-huh.
We-- we want you to do something for us.
What?
Well, you know what I'm talking about.
Here, this is-- this is fresh water.
Spit take.
Can you do us a spit take?
Paul, show him your spit take.
Oh, no, I couldn't.
There we go.
Let the master do it.
The master-- the master is here.
Hey, wait a minute.
You got a-- it looks like you have a brand new book here.
Yeah, I--
It's called "Make Room for Danny."
It's called "Make Room for Danny."
Oh, you're very kind.
You're very kind.
My best to Phil and Marlo, too.
You know why we-- we were very excited that you were here tonight?
Uh-uh.
We want you to do something for us.
What?
Well, you know what I'm talking about.
Here, this is fresh water.
Spit take.
Can you do us a spit take?
Here.
Hey, wait a minute.
You got a-- it looks like you have a brand new book here.
Yeah, I--
It's called "Make Room for Danny," Danny Thomason.
It's just out.
It's Putnam Press.
Let me see what this is going for.
30 bucks.
No.
Yeah.
22 something.
Oh, no, $30 in Canada.
That's right.
22.95.
Yeah.
And your life story?
It is a-- yes, it's an autobiography.
All right.
Do you mind if I keep this?
No, please do.
Thank you very much.
All right.
Hard to carry.
This little kid, by the way, is in the biggest money-making film
of like the decade.
I saw the promos.
I saw him interviewed, too.
He's brilliant.
God bless him.
Yeah.
You really want to be in this business, huh?
Yeah.
God bless you.
Well, have fun.
I mean, I mean, do other things that little boys do, you know.
Teach him the spit take.
Well, I bet.
I mean, do as I'm drinking this.
Come on.
They're working up a little thing.
This will be good.
Okay.
Anyway, it's great to be on your show.
Thank you very much.
Is that your nose or are you eating a banana?
Very nice.
Very nice.
Very nice.
Nice job, Danny.
Thank you very much.
Danny Thomas.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
Wow, now we're having fun, aren't we?
Yeah.
Okay.
Macaulay Culkin is here.
Do you have brothers and sisters?
Yeah, I have four brothers, two sisters.
Wow, big family, huh?
Yeah.
Any of the other kids in show business?
My younger brother, Kieran, he played Fuller, the bed wetter.
Oh, he was also in the film, huh?
Yeah, he played Fuller.
Wow, so this is like a bonanza for you and your family, isn't it?
Yeah.
Can I ask you how much you made for doing the movie?
Um, I don't know.
You have no idea?
No idea.
But it was a lot of money, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Now, they're talking about making a sequel to Home Alone, huh?
Yeah, in about 1992.
1992.
Now, and they want you to play the same part, right?
Yeah.
So now, is there a deal for that, do you know?
Um, like, I kind of know what it's about, you know?
Yeah.
But I'm talking about the financial end of things.
We can have the creative people work out the story later.
Yes.
Uh, are you pretty well taken care of?
Because this thing took off like a rocket, so you and your family should be
compensated.
Yeah.
Do you have anybody representing you?
Um, not really.
I don't know.
Yeah, all right.
Well, we'll talk a little bit later.
Yeah.
And the director of the film was John Hughes?
John Hughes.
Yeah, did you get along?
No, no, he was the writer.
He was the writer?
I see.
Did you get along well with those guys?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
How did you make the film?
Four months.
Four months.
Uh, did you get tired of it?
Did you get bored by it?
No, no.
Yeah.
What did you do when you weren't working on the film?
Well, well, I, you know, I had to do school and everything.
Right.
It's one of those pretend schools.
Yes.
Because you're not really in class with the other kids, are you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably smoking.
Yeah.
Probably smoking.
Were you smoking?
I was smoking in the corner.
Yeah, exactly.
Sure.
Sure.
With the Teamsters.
That's right.
While eating donuts.
Yes.
You were smoking and eating donuts with the Teamsters.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just as good as any American education you'll get anywhere.
Uh, so what do you, what do you do to pass the time when you're not doing that?
Um, well, because Columbus had this scooter because there was this, it was
filmed in this
high school.
Yeah.
And, um, it was just so huge, so many hallways that, you know.
You used it to get around the set.
Yeah.
Get around.
So, you know, I'd ride that around the school and everything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It must have been fun.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And you, and you gambled?
You played Liar's Poker?
Yeah, I played Liar's Poker.
Are you pretty good at that?
What's your name?
I'm from the hairdresser and the Teamsters.
Oh, wow.
I wouldn't be surprised if the state didn't take you away from your family.
Uh, do I have time to show the little clip?
Now, you were on this show a couple of years ago, weren't you?
Yeah, I was piping hot.
Piping hot.
Every year we have, uh, kids come in and dress up in little Halloween costumes.
And here, this is, uh, Macaulay a couple of years ago.
Was it two years ago?
I think so.
Okay, and you played one half of, uh, McDLT, I think.
Yes.
Okay, here, let's take a look at this.
We're running out of stuff.
Oh, my goodness.
What is this?
Come on in, kids.
Oh, look at this.
This is quite a production.
All right, stand right here.
Now, what do we have here exactly?
I'm piping hot.
You're piping hot.
I'm nice and cool.
You're nice and cool.
Oh, it's a McDLT.
Isn't that cute?
Do you want fries with that?
I don't think so.
Clams?
Okay.
That must have been a big night for you, huh?
Good to see you again.
Congratulations on your big hit movie.
And have a good 1991.
That's Holly Falcon, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.