Name: CBS Mailbag: Dave's Breakfast Surprise | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-01-04T16:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Dave's Breakfast Surprise | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CBS Mailbag: Dave's Breakfast Surprise | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-04. Transcript available.

Actual letters, ladies and gentlemen, from actual viewers just like you and
your family sitting there in your family room, your den, your bedroom, your
front room, under the house, in your car, in your garage, in your tool shed,
enjoying the program tonight.
Actual viewers just like you. I'm trying to use more gestures.
I can see that, yeah.
Just like you folks watching along at home.
That's a good gesture.
Giving myself an adjustment, and believe it, it's not the first time I've done
it today.
All right. All right. Letter number one.
Letter number one.
Dear Dave, what's your favorite part of the show, and what do you do during
your commercial breaks?
Your loyal watcher, Crystal Fielder, marry Maryville, Tennessee.
Well, Crystal, during the commercial breaks, I am enjoying my favorite part of
the show.
Letter number two. Letter number two. Letter number two.
Letter number two. Dose. Dose. Letter number two. Dose. Dose. Dose. Dose.
CBS mailbag number two.
Hey, buddy. Do you surf the net, curiously edgy, David Michaels, Leawood,
Kansas?
You know, Dave, as you must know, I'm a huge computer nut myself.
I got myself a Pentium computer with a triple-speed CD-ROM,
and just last night, I installed a brand-new program.
Man, I remember it as though it actually happened.
Okay, insert disc into drive A, then type A colon backslash return.
Whoa! Cyber waffles!
Oh, man! Whoa!
Okay, that's...
Letter number three. Letter number three. Letter number three. Letter number
three. Letter number three.
Tres. Tres. Tres. Tres. Tres. Tres. Tres. Número tres. Tres. Dos tres.
Okay. My, you're quite a linguist.
Dear Dave, what is your favorite thing to do over the weekend? Jesse Broder Van
Dyke, Honolulu, Hawaii.
You know, Jesse, if I could be serious here for a second, I like to go to the
movies. Man, I enjoy the movies.
Do you like films, Paul? Of course I do.
I love the brand-new feature film releases, and I guess it was last weekend, I
went to see the number one box office success in the country right now.
You know what I'm talking about?
Which one?
Twelve Monkeys.
Oh, of course, yes.
Have you ever seen Twelve Monkeys?
Unbelievable.
I liked it so well, I brought in a clip from the movie. Take a look at this,
Jesse. Twelve Monkeys. Look at there. There's one of the monkeys washing a
kitty. I think, for me, that was probably my favorite part of the movie.
That was your best scene in the movie, yes.
Where the monkey is washing the kitty.
One of the clump.
It's interesting. You can get a monkey to wash a cat every day of the week, but
you'll never get a kitty to wash a monkey.
Interesting. Isn't that odd?
Isn't that odd? Don't you find that odd? Don't you think that's strange?
Oh, it's kind of strange.
A little bit strange, a little bit odd.
Yeah, exactly.
Letter number four.
Numero cuatro.
Numero cuatro.
Numero cuatro.
Quatro.
Here we go.
Dear Dave, I am bored. Will you come to California and cheer me up? What do you
do when you're bored?
Denise Carlos, Fremont, California.
You know, Denise.
Oh, you're pretending again, aren't you?
Well, Denise, you know, when I'm bored, here's what I do. It's simple. It's fun.
It's easy to do.
I invite my old friend, Marv Albert, Mr. Sports. He comes right over to the
house, and we watch hilarious sports bloopers.
Let's give it a try tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Marv Albert. Come on in, Marv.
We have for you a special, a special year-end edition of the Wild and Wacky
Late Show Achievement Awards.
Here we go. Knock us out. Roll them up.
The past year.
The Wild and the Wacky.
Here it is. Let's take a look at the tape.
We start with football follies.
Yes, while Super Bowl MVP Steve Young couldn't seem to hit a taxi to save his
life.
Watch as Joe Montana, Sybil Shepard, and Dave get in that first attempt.
Nice shot.
Now, here's a tip for a beginner TV host. When talking to Terry Bradshaw, don't
mention the word ball.
That's got to hurt.
Oh.
On to embarrassing moments. Chris Farley having some trouble with his chair. I
hate when that happens.
Don't you, Marv?
And here comes Letterman trying to impress the female diving champ.
Oh, that last step is a killer. Oh, that's it.
Unbelievable.
You've got to know how to land.
But perhaps no moment was quite as embarrassing as this.
My entrance on my son's Shetland pony.
And we close with the incredible and truly unforgettable Drew Barrymore giving
Dave the gift of a lifetime.
Well, that, in my opinion, was the play of 1995.
Thank you very much, Pat.
Got you.
Here's your friend.