Name: Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Steve O'Donnell, Part 3 | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-01-23T16:01:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Steve O'Donnell, Part 3 | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Steve O'Donnell, Part 3 | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-23. Transcript available.

Hello, yet again, once more. I'm Steve O'Donnell. I was a writer and head
writer for 13 years on
Late Night and Late Show with David Letterman. A lucky 13 years. I mentioned
lucky because I was
lucky to have the job, but also I want the theme for this passel of picks to be
luck and how good
luck can really make a piece wonderful. I had been a tour guide at Paul Revere's
house in Boston,
and I'd worked at a hot molten glass plant in Cleveland, and I wrote greeting
cards for a year
and a half, but writing on The Letterman Show remains the best and my favorite
weird job.
So that was my good luck. Making The Letterman Show, you would have luck come
your way in little ways
and in big ways. We were doing on-the-air experiments with super slow-mo camera,
and I suggested we have
a wet dog shake itself dry, and it hadn't worked in rehearsal. We tried it live,
and it worked.
Okay, now Noodles will dry off, and we'll see it in slow-mo. Come on, Noodles.
Come on.
There it is in slow-mo. Oh, that's pretty neat.
Another great bit of good luck with what could have been a fair piece was when
we were doing a week
of shows in Las Vegas, and we were going to spend the day getting a tour of Las
Vegas with an Elvis
impersonator. We ran into a drifter, like an old-fashioned hobo-type character
from the jumping
the boxcars era, named James T. Baggett, and he was such a colorful old coot
that the trio of Letterman,
the Elvis impersonator, and the drifter was unbeatable.
Well, what kind of work do you do?
I'm a merchant seaman.
Seaman? Is this a thriving seaport?
No, this is just a rescue.
The deal is we get a picture taken in front of $110,000 bills. It's a million
bucks. Pretty exciting.
I don't even know. You know whose picture is on the $10,000 bill, James?
No, I don't know.
Tony, do you have any idea?
I don't know. I don't know.
You know who it is? Slappy White.
Slappy White.
Checking out the city with a talk show host, you know it's gonna be a swingin'
time.
Hey, the blackjack poker on the U-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Another wonderful great good luck was sending a camera into the gift shop that
used to be on the ground floor
of the Ed Sullivan Theater and discovering these two guys from Bangladesh, Mujibur
and Sarah Jewell.
And I had great good luck with them touring the country. I got to go from coast
to coast with them.
We had great good luck in Las Vegas and I have wonderful memories of them
spending some time with Tom Jones.
What's new, Pussycat?
What's new, Pussycat?
Had some bad luck with Mujibur and Sarah Jewell.
We went to see the Mount Rushmore and got some funny bits.
We happened to stay in a pretty subpar motel that was run by a wonderful
character whose name was Red Pepper.
And they're the only, they had on the marquee in front, it just said super
clean.
Anyway, it was a moderately funny bit and we were looking forward to seeing it
on the air that night.
But there was a delay of several hours.
O.J. Simpson was leading the police on a chase in his white Bronco.
And I'm there in South Dakota going, oh, now we won't get to see Red Pepper and
the guys.
Welcome to the Bel Air Motel.
It's super clean.
It's super clean here.
It's super clean.
It's super clean here.
I used to be sad when we'd have a dark week, that is, not taping shows and we'd
be on vacation.
I'd be looking for things while I was, wherever I was.
But I was in Dallas, Texas and there was an old record store and I found this
great used record that was nothing but plug-in jingles for local radio shows to
use for local advertisers.
One of them we used a lot, maybe too much, but it was catchy.
Yes, the car and truck rental song.
Here we go.
Follow the bouncing ball, ladies and gentlemen, and sing your hearts out, if
you will, please.
Travel with me and I, carry a low range of, we supply the latest models, relic
bar or truck
from us.
I guess what I liked about that jingle was it was so aggressive and yet so
bland at the same
time.
Can't beat that combo.
I had good lucks.
I would write a, it wasn't even a joke.
I put all the weight on the performer.
Jim Carrey came on as a guest and I said, it'd be funny if you said, oh, I used
to work for
CBS.
And Dave says, oh, and then we show the opening of 60 Minutes.
And then I just said, and then you make a funny face.
And he did.
I had good luck sometimes getting a little notion for a piece from something
someone would
say.
I was home in Ohio and my mom made a little very Ohio throwaway comment.
She said, I noticed Letterman doesn't wear the wrestling shoes, the gym shoes
with his shirt
and tie and jacket.
Did his supervisor talk to him?
I wrote a bit about Dave's supervisor chewing him out throughout the show for
his various
incompetences.
And Charlton Heston played it and he did it, I thought, quite well.
There's your record.
Yeah, exactly.
Hold it!
Hold it!
What's wrong with you Letterman?
You know we can use these blue cards again.
Yeah, I know.
I'm sorry.
You know, we never had these problems with Sajak.
Oh, okay.
Also, good luck is to have someone with a sort of pleasant personality just do
all that work
for you.
When I was with Dave's mom in Lillehammer for the 1994 Winter Olympics, we
interviewed Nancy
Kerrigan.
And I told Dave's mom, just whenever there's a pause, just say, more cocoa.
See, now everyone has the idea.
You writers really didn't do much work, did you?
What have you been doing today?
No, I just went out for lunch and went shopping.
What kind of things do you buy?
Sweaters and stuff?
Yeah.
Sweaters are beautiful, aren't they?
Yeah.
So do you like cocoa?
Would you like a cup?
No, thanks.
All right.
Yeah.
Are you sure you didn't like some cocoa?
There was a viewer mail letter criticizing Dave's choice of shoes.
A young woman named Colleen Boyle out on Long Island.
We drove out there with a crew to surprise her.
Well, bad luck.
She wasn't at home, but good luck.
Her brother arrives and he tells us where she works.
Then good luck.
We go to the Sears and good luck.
She has a great giggle that is adorable and annoying at the same time.
The good luck comes out of the bad luck, which that's what you want out of life.
Are you Colleen?
Are you Colleen Boyle?
Yes.
Did you write this letter, Colleen?
See, what's the deal with the sneakers?
I don't think more of a brand would host their shows wearing high tops.
Colleen Boyle.
Colleen, can I stop?
Come here.
Come here a minute.
Here.
We have this little gift for you here.
This is for you.
This is for the yard.
We were over at your house.
Do me a favor.
Stop making that annoying noise.
Come here.
Come here.
Have a nice room.
You didn't go in my room.
We were in your room.
Ask me a question about your room.
You didn't go in, like, and see my room.
Listen, this guy right here was sitting on your bed.
Ooh.
Change the sheets as soon as you can.
There were several points in my time at the show when I had a lot of people mad
at me.
I remember the prop department being pretty mad at me when I wrote a new gift
item.
We called them wacky props.
But it was for a particular type of breakfast cereal.
Here's the ultimate in breakfast cereal of freshness.
Individually wrapped cornflakes.
Just take a look at those.
The flavor is sealed right in.
And after a few short hours of mind-bendingly tedious bag opening, you'll have
the freshest cereal in town.
So they'd spent a week putting little cellophane bags around separate cornflakes.
So, of course, they were mad at me.
I remember getting some letters of anger early on a book of hodgepodge, sort of
like this, but in book form.
Late Night with David Letterman book.
And somehow it was put together, there were a lot of blank pages at the end of
the first galleys that they couldn't change.
We couldn't rearrange things.
I said, here, just put a little box here that says, extra for experts.
Squeeze lemon on this page for a special surprise.
Well, of course, there was no special surprise.
And a couple people said they ruined their copy of the book and wanted to be
compensated for it.
I'm pretty sure they never were.
I also had people surprisingly unhappy with me and complaining about a recipe
that I created for the show, which was called Dave's Dog Jacks.
Basically, it was fried bologna, which both Dave and I love and people thought
was gross.
We served it to the audience and I think they lived.
Okay, here's the main ingredient in these dog jacks.
These are just normal weenies and we take them and take two of them.
You folks have seen busted weenies before.
Let me turn this on.
And they're mighty tasty.
Now, come on.
Stop it.
Oh my God, that's unbelievable.
I also had battles that are kind of like bad luck with the censors, the
broadcast standards people.
I'd written like a viewer mail response where somebody said, we know you taped
the show late afternoon.
How do you make people think it's, you know, late at night?
And the pre-tape was Wendell running a big spiral disc hypno wheel in front of
the audience going, it is now past midnight.
The standards people were like, you're going to hypnotize the audience and we're
going to be in for a, and I went like, first of all, I'm not even sure the hypno
wheel is even a thing, you know.
Ultimately, I pointed out, well, even if they are hypnotized, what are they
going to be hypnotized into thinking?
That it's past midnight, which if they're watching it in conventional broadcast
television, it would be.
Ladies, if you'll come out here and pass that out.
We're almost ready to get the show on the road, folks.
Just take one of those little cups.
The swirling motion.
It makes you believe it's getting later.
And later.
And later.
A strange extended argument that I had.
He had written a top 10 list that was about Reagan's would-be assassin.
I think his name is John Hinckley.
And our list was top 10 signs that Hinckley has been completely rehabilitated.
They were all indicating the opposite, that he was crazy.
But the standards were, you can't put that on.
He tried to shoot the president.
This is disrespectful.
I went, if you read the jokes, they're the opposite of what the title is.
Instead of signs he's rehabilitated, we went with the vaguer signs he's making
progress.
But what made it of interest is that I was wearing a giant furry rabbit costume
at the time.
We used to have these little parades that would top off a, we called them snappies.
Has the loitering policy changed here, guys?
Well, we're still here, aren't we?
It was always my great good luck to get a smile or a laugh from Dave.
From a sentence, from a strangely worded sentence.
Not even a joke.
Just because Dave savored the odd combination of words.
One, he may not even remember the origin of, but he quoted it for decades
afterwards.
Randy Cohen had written a funny prop item.
But I wrote the setup copy.
Since the dawn of civilization, eyeglass wearers have been subject to ridicule,
harassment,
and occasional jostling by husky idlers.
Well, now the shoe's on the other foot with this simple installation of an
optical blowgun.
Here's how it works.
Let me slip these on.
Okay.
It corrects your vision as it scatters any and all opposition.
Oh.
Dave liked the jostle by husky idlers.
And here's Rose, my assistant.
Look at that.
And then nearly knocked to the ground by a husky idler there.
We...
Oh, I'm sorry.
It was a joke, Madeline.
I didn't even know it was you.
Was it you, Madeline?
No, no.
Husky idler meaning in the most positive sense.
No, I know it was...
I chose the wrong words.
I think it was the lens on the camera did.
I'm sorry.
It was...
You're not...
Madeline, now don't cry.
We have a show to do.
Just leave the room, please.
The emphasis should have been more on idle than husky.
Another bunch of words that I put together that aren't necessarily funny,
but that Dave seemed to really like and repeatedly said he liked.
Joe Toplin had a funny idea that for the 8th anniversary show,
Tom Hanks was going to come out and say,
I made a bet that I would eat a thousand cocktail wieners in one minute
if you made it to eight years.
And I'm going to do it.
And then he starts eating them.
And we just go to technical problem.
Please stand by.
And I said, well, what if we did something more than a technical problem?
And I said, let's have a news interrupt that appears to be pointless.
And Dave liked the wording of it.
Here we go.
Ready?
Yes.
Set.
Go.
One, two, three.
Late Night with David Letterman, 8th Anniversary Special,
will return in a moment.
Here with an important update is Bob Jamison from NBC in New York.
Good evening.
The local, national, and international situations are essentially unchanged
since the news broadcast earlier this evening.
Repeat, the world situation is stable.
There have been no major developments.
Word of serious or unusual breakthroughs would certainly have reached NBC News
by now,
but no such word has been received.
Sources within the State Department, the Pentagon, and the Franklin Mint
confirm that everything is pretty much the way it was before.
Again, NBC News has established that nothing much is up, everything is okay,
or at least it's about the same as it was an hour ago.
This is Bob Jamison in New York.
We now return to David Letterman's 8th Anniversary Special, already in progress.
You wonder what happened to Bob Jamison.
You know, he was probably fired after doing that bit.
I had the great good luck to take part in a strange piece
that was various staffers recalling dramatic incidents with their high school
gym teachers.
On rainy days, there was an underground track, and it had a very low ceiling.
And as I was running, I had to sort of run as fast as I could, but I also had a
slouch.
And finally, I just decided to pour it on and ran directly with my head into a
pipe.
The part of Coach Bill Quayle is being played by TV's Regis Philbin.
Fuck this!
Oh, no!
Don't, this can't be happening!
Good Lord, kid, don't die on me now!
Please!
Don't!
Fight it!
Fight it, you sick, so Irish bastard!
You magnificent bastard!
Live, damn it, live!
I had a very functional idea that turned into something rather more memorable
when I was working on the top ten books, and our publisher was Simon & Schuster,
which was right across the street from 30 Rock.
And our editor's offices were on the 14th floor, which is the same floor as our
working offices.
And I thought, well, we could stick the camera out the window during a show
and call some random desk.
We lucked out with who we got to answer the phone.
Meg Parsont.
Congratulations, Meg.
You're our office worker of the month.
I don't care what you say.
I didn't say anything.
Okay, just now, you just stay right there.
Oh, there's Biff right there.
Thank God.
Meg was perfect because she was playful and smart and humorous, but not too
funny.
She wasn't going to joke it up with Dave.
She was in the office building next to our office building, and yet you never
really wanted her and Dave to be in the same place at the same time.
We'd try stunts.
She would drop things out her window at Dave's instructions, and Biff would try
to catch them.
Various celebrities would walk on into her office.
And I remember being touched when Dave sent a marching band to spell out her
name on her birthday.
Anyway, Meg, that was good luck.
Okay, here we go.
number 10, three-speed Q-tip, number 9, exploding nails, number 8, Lee Press-On-Rivets,
number 7.
The toupee clamp, number 6, the one-rung ladder, number 5, number 5, the groin
puller, number 4.
Uncontrollable chainsaws, number 4, number 3, number 3 is the birth control
nail apron, number 2, least popular craftsman tool, the imaginary hammer, and
the number 1, least popular tool, the gas powered clapper, there you go.
We call it "The moment of truth."
And Steve, that moment comes when he hands in his joke and nervously awaits a
verdict.
Yes, unlike the rest of the country, Steve doesn't have to watch the show, his
job is done.
Yes, unlike the rest of the country, Steve doesn't have to watch the show, his
job is done.
He has written an opening joke that brings new glory to late night, NBC, and
the entire
of the world.
He has written an opening joke that brings new glory to late night, NBC, and
the entire of the
American nation.
The show's just beginning as Steve's day is ending, but he'll be back tomorrow
because he
knows the show can't begin without him, and that's why he is one of the people
behind late night.
The show's just beginning to end.
The show's just beginning to end.
The show's just beginning to end.
The show's just beginning to end.
The show's just beginning to end.
The show's just beginning to end.
The show's just beginning to end.
The show's just beginning to end.

Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Steve O'Donnell, Part 3 | Letterman

Hello, yet again, once more. I'm Steve O'Donnell. I was a writer and head
writer for 13 years on
Late Night and Late Show with David Letterman. A lucky 13 years. I mentioned
lucky because I was
lucky to have the job, but also I want the theme for this passel of picks to be
luck and how good
luck can really make a piece wonderful. I had been a tour guide at Paul Revere's
house in Boston,
and I'd worked at a hot molten glass plant in Cleveland, and I wrote greeting
cards for a year
and a half, but writing on The Letterman Show remains the best and my favorite
weird job.
So that was my good luck. Making The Letterman Show, you would have luck come
your way in little ways
and in big ways. We were doing on-the-air experiments with super slow-mo camera,
and I suggested we have
a wet dog shake itself dry, and it hadn't worked in rehearsal. We tried it live,
and it worked.
Okay, now Noodles will dry off, and we'll see it in slow-mo. Come on, Noodles.
Come on.
There it is in slow-mo. Oh, that's pretty neat.
Another great bit of good luck with what could have been a fair piece was when
we were doing a week
of shows in Las Vegas, and we were going to spend the day getting a tour of Las
Vegas with an Elvis
impersonator. We ran into a drifter, like an old-fashioned hobo-type character
from the jumping
the boxcars era, named James T. Baggett, and he was such a colorful old coot
that the trio of Letterman,
the Elvis impersonator, and the drifter was unbeatable.
Well, what kind of work do you do?
I'm a merchant seaman.
Seaman? Is this a thriving seaport?
No, this is just a rescue.
The deal is we get a picture taken in front of $110,000 bills. It's a million
bucks. Pretty exciting.
I don't even know. You know whose picture is on the $10,000 bill, James?
No, I don't know.
Tony, do you have any idea?
I don't know. I don't know.
You know who it is? Slappy White.
Slappy White.
Checking out the city with a talk show host, you know it's gonna be a swingin'
time.
Hey, the blackjack poker on the U-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Another wonderful great good luck was sending a camera into the gift shop that
used to be on the ground floor
of the Ed Sullivan Theater and discovering these two guys from Bangladesh, Mujibur
and Sarah Jewell.
And I had great good luck with them touring the country. I got to go from coast
to coast with them.
We had great good luck in Las Vegas and I have wonderful memories of them
spending some time with Tom Jones.
What's new, Pussycat?
What's new, Pussycat?
Had some bad luck with Mujibur and Sarah Jewell.
We went to see the Mount Rushmore and got some funny bits.
We happened to stay in a pretty subpar motel that was run by a wonderful
character whose name was Red Pepper.
And they're the only, they had on the marquee in front, it just said super
clean.
Anyway, it was a moderately funny bit and we were looking forward to seeing it
on the air that night.
But there was a delay of several hours.
O.J. Simpson was leading the police on a chase in his white Bronco.
And I'm there in South Dakota going, oh, now we won't get to see Red Pepper and
the guys.
Welcome to the Bel Air Motel.
It's super clean.
It's super clean here.
It's super clean.
It's super clean here.
I used to be sad when we'd have a dark week, that is, not taping shows and we'd
be on vacation.
I'd be looking for things while I was, wherever I was.
But I was in Dallas, Texas and there was an old record store and I found this
great used record that was nothing but plug-in jingles for local radio shows to
use for local advertisers.
One of them we used a lot, maybe too much, but it was catchy.
Yes, the car and truck rental song.
Here we go.
Follow the bouncing ball, ladies and gentlemen, and sing your hearts out, if
you will, please.
Travel with me and I, carry a low range of, we supply the latest models, relic
bar or truck
from us.
I guess what I liked about that jingle was it was so aggressive and yet so
bland at the same
time.
Can't beat that combo.
I had good lucks.
I would write a, it wasn't even a joke.
I put all the weight on the performer.
Jim Carrey came on as a guest and I said, it'd be funny if you said, oh, I used
to work for
CBS.
And Dave says, oh, and then we show the opening of 60 Minutes.
And then I just said, and then you make a funny face.
And he did.
I had good luck sometimes getting a little notion for a piece from something
someone would
say.
I was home in Ohio and my mom made a little very Ohio throwaway comment.
She said, I noticed Letterman doesn't wear the wrestling shoes, the gym shoes
with his shirt
and tie and jacket.
Did his supervisor talk to him?
I wrote a bit about Dave's supervisor chewing him out throughout the show for
his various
incompetences.
And Charlton Heston played it and he did it, I thought, quite well.
There's your record.
Yeah, exactly.
Hold it!
Hold it!
What's wrong with you Letterman?
You know we can use these blue cards again.
Yeah, I know.
I'm sorry.
You know, we never had these problems with Sajak.
Oh, okay.
Also, good luck is to have someone with a sort of pleasant personality just do
all that work
for you.
When I was with Dave's mom in Lillehammer for the 1994 Winter Olympics, we
interviewed Nancy
Kerrigan.
And I told Dave's mom, just whenever there's a pause, just say, more cocoa.
See, now everyone has the idea.
You writers really didn't do much work, did you?
What have you been doing today?
No, I just went out for lunch and went shopping.
What kind of things do you buy?
Sweaters and stuff?
Yeah.
Sweaters are beautiful, aren't they?
Yeah.
So do you like cocoa?
Would you like a cup?
No, thanks.
All right.
Yeah.
Are you sure you didn't like some cocoa?
There was a viewer mail letter criticizing Dave's choice of shoes.
A young woman named Colleen Boyle out on Long Island.
We drove out there with a crew to surprise her.
Well, bad luck.
She wasn't at home, but good luck.
Her brother arrives and he tells us where she works.
Then good luck.
We go to the Sears and good luck.
She has a great giggle that is adorable and annoying at the same time.
The good luck comes out of the bad luck, which that's what you want out of life.
Are you Colleen?
Are you Colleen Boyle?
Yes.
Did you write this letter, Colleen?
See, what's the deal with the sneakers?
I don't think more of a brand would host their shows wearing high tops.
Colleen Boyle.
Colleen, can I stop?
Come here.
Come here a minute.
Here.
We have this little gift for you here.
This is for you.
This is for the yard.
We were over at your house.
Do me a favor.
Stop making that annoying noise.
Come here.
Come here.
Have a nice room.
You didn't go in my room.
We were in your room.
Ask me a question about your room.
You didn't go in, like, and see my room.
Listen, this guy right here was sitting on your bed.
Ooh.
Change the sheets as soon as you can.
There were several points in my time at the show when I had a lot of people mad
at me.
I remember the prop department being pretty mad at me when I wrote a new gift
item.
We called them wacky props.
But it was for a particular type of breakfast cereal.
Here's the ultimate in breakfast cereal of freshness.
Individually wrapped cornflakes.
Just take a look at those.
The flavor is sealed right in.
And after a few short hours of mind-bendingly tedious bag opening, you'll have
the freshest cereal in town.
So they'd spent a week putting little cellophane bags around separate cornflakes.
So, of course, they were mad at me.
I remember getting some letters of anger early on a book of hodgepodge, sort of
like this, but in book form.
Late Night with David Letterman book.
And somehow it was put together, there were a lot of blank pages at the end of
the first galleys that they couldn't change.
We couldn't rearrange things.
I said, here, just put a little box here that says, extra for experts.
Squeeze lemon on this page for a special surprise.
Well, of course, there was no special surprise.
And a couple people said they ruined their copy of the book and wanted to be
compensated for it.
I'm pretty sure they never were.
I also had people surprisingly unhappy with me and complaining about a recipe
that I created for the show, which was called Dave's Dog Jacks.
Basically, it was fried bologna, which both Dave and I love and people thought
was gross.
We served it to the audience and I think they lived.
Okay, here's the main ingredient in these dog jacks.
These are just normal weenies and we take them and take two of them.
You folks have seen busted weenies before.
Let me turn this on.
And they're mighty tasty.
Now, come on.
Stop it.
Oh my God, that's unbelievable.
I also had battles that are kind of like bad luck with the censors, the
broadcast standards people.
I'd written like a viewer mail response where somebody said, we know you taped
the show late afternoon.
How do you make people think it's, you know, late at night?
And the pre-tape was Wendell running a big spiral disc hypno wheel in front of
the audience going, it is now past midnight.
The standards people were like, you're going to hypnotize the audience and we're
going to be in for a, and I went like, first of all, I'm not even sure the hypno
wheel is even a thing, you know.
Ultimately, I pointed out, well, even if they are hypnotized, what are they
going to be hypnotized into thinking?
That it's past midnight, which if they're watching it in conventional broadcast
television, it would be.
Ladies, if you'll come out here and pass that out.
We're almost ready to get the show on the road, folks.
Just take one of those little cups.
The swirling motion.
It makes you believe it's getting later.
And later.
And later.
A strange extended argument that I had.
He had written a top 10 list that was about Reagan's would-be assassin.
I think his name is John Hinckley.
And our list was top 10 signs that Hinckley has been completely rehabilitated.
They were all indicating the opposite, that he was crazy.
But the standards were, you can't put that on.
He tried to shoot the president.
This is disrespectful.
I went, if you read the jokes, they're the opposite of what the title is.
Instead of signs he's rehabilitated, we went with the vaguer signs he's making
progress.
But what made it of interest is that I was wearing a giant furry rabbit costume
at the time.
We used to have these little parades that would top off a, we called them snappies.
Has the loitering policy changed here, guys?
Well, we're still here, aren't we?
It was always my great good luck to get a smile or a laugh from Dave.
From a sentence, from a strangely worded sentence.
Not even a joke.
Just because Dave savored the odd combination of words.
One, he may not even remember the origin of, but he quoted it for decades
afterwards.
Randy Cohen had written a funny prop item.
But I wrote the setup copy.
Since the dawn of civilization, eyeglass wearers have been subject to ridicule,
harassment,
and occasional jostling by husky idlers.
Well, now the shoe's on the other foot with this simple installation of an
optical blowgun.
Here's how it works.
Let me slip these on.
Okay.
It corrects your vision as it scatters any and all opposition.
Oh.
Dave liked the jostle by husky idlers.
And here's Rose, my assistant.
Look at that.
And then nearly knocked to the ground by a husky idler there.
We...
Oh, I'm sorry.
It was a joke, Madeline.
I didn't even know it was you.
Was it you, Madeline?
No, no.
Husky idler meaning in the most positive sense.
No, I know it was...
I chose the wrong words.
I think it was the lens on the camera did.
I'm sorry.
It was...
You're not...
Madeline, now don't cry.
We have a show to do.
Just leave the room, please.
The emphasis should have been more on idle than husky.
Another bunch of words that I put together that aren't necessarily funny,
but that Dave seemed to really like and repeatedly said he liked.
Joe Toplin had a funny idea that for the 8th anniversary show,
Tom Hanks was going to come out and say,
I made a bet that I would eat a thousand cocktail wieners in one minute
if you made it to eight 