Name: Larry David Is Feeling Pretty, Pretty Good | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-01-31T23:19:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Larry David Is Feeling Pretty, Pretty Good | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Larry David Is Feeling Pretty, Pretty Good | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-31. Transcript available.

uh this is great uh we can't have this man on the program nearly often enough
and he
rarely comes to visit us so we're quite happy he's here tonight he is the
creator and star
of the popular hbo series curb your enthusiasm now in its seventh season here
is the very funny
the very troubled larry david gosh it's nice to see you welcome back to the
program and as i said
and i understand you haven't been here for a while things good everything good
yes dave uh
i don't want to offend you okay okay but i have to tell you that i'm really
glad my parents aren't
alive to witness this tonight yes really yes i'm sensing debacle in the in the
office yes i think
it'll be just fine do you think so i think so uh are you i have a good six debacle
sense
are your uh parents still with us no they're dead dave oh that's right you just
you said yeah i mean
uh well i bet they were very proud of you weren't they actually no no not
really
looking back i don't know i don't think they were they actually they lived in
constant fear that i
would embarrass them yes as you know does most people who i know yeah um
particularly my children
oh sure oh god they won't be seen with me anywhere really oh god they won't
even walk down the street
with me you know because i'm a singer and a whistler i like to whistle yes i
whistle a happy tune is there
a problem with that yeah it embarrasses them you know i'm not a spitter and a
urinator i could be that
you know that's bad and urinating as they could be saying to their friends my
dad's a urinator they're
not saying that you know that's right thank goodness for that yeah i i remember
when when i lived in new
york i'd go into the subway there were signs no no spinning or loitering yeah i
don't think they're
really enforcing that too well you know because i was a huge loiterer is that
right oh all friday
night i would loiter yeah never got in trouble for that yeah well that's good
to hear now is it true
larry that when you and maybe you still do this you walk the streets of new york
looking for a place
to live if you become homeless you know that was a long time ago i did that
yeah and it saddens me
that you would remind me of that terrible period of my life i'm very sorry yeah
well i did i was living
at home at the time i was 25 you know and i didn't have a job i had nothing um
you know i was on allowance
at 25. oh you know to go to your father on a friday night and say dad can you
give me ten dollars for
the movies you know it's not it's not that good yeah you know and uh i was i
was very depressed
and of course depressed were you at the time yes yes you know you can't really
tell your your parents
particularly your mother that that you're depressed you can't tell them that
why is that well they don't
take it very well you know you could be on the verge of suicide with your head
in the oven and they'll
come home they'll go how are you larry i'm good ma i'm good i'm pretty good
pretty pretty good yeah
you know god forbid you should tell them the truth things aren't going well it's
just i have nothing i
have no job i you know i am living at home i'm not happy mom i'm not happy oh
my god larry
no don't say that don't tell me that morty's not happy our son's not happy
you don't need that no no he certainly don't need that
now um are your parents still alive
dave i explained to you earlier that they were very dead it's got things going
on i'm sorry i don't
know why i'm rehashing that now here's some more exciting news from your life
uh your buddies from
the seinfeld show coming on curb your enthusiasm that's a great thing that's a
big
yes yes
how i i mean i know that you're a powerful fellow but how did you go about the
logistics of accomplishing
that well dave i begged yeah is that right yes i did i i begged and i don't
mind the begging part
right it's it's kind of fun to get on your knees grab somebody around the
ankles you know and plead with
them and uh i employed a new begging technique that i it's been successful what
is that i changed it
to uh to spanish i beg in spanish now i say por favor and it's you really evoke
a little more pity
that way yes yeah and that's what that's what you're going for on the bed i
think so yeah absolutely
and have you have you uh yeah absolutely of course have you uh have you worked
that in other aspects
of your life begging for other things it doesn't really work for dating yeah oh
really no no can i
can we talk about uh dating with of course why not okay we can talk about
anything are there uh is
there a special as they say a special lady in your life no there's not dave and
you know my parents
are dead i see well no no by all means have them give me a call there's not a
special lady in fact
you know i i would have to say this for a person uh i've probably broken a
record for the least amount
of sex for a person who has their own television show really wow at least i don't
have an inflatable
doll i'm not into that oh my god i mean have you have you known anybody who's
ever had it's a sad thing
these lonely men they they go buy an inflatable doll for companionship you know
the thing about
that is where do you where do you keep it you know where do you where do you
hide this thing you
got to hide it you can't put it on the couch that's probably introduce it to
people you know
i would be wrong this is this is my doll amanda you know you can't do that no
you don't want to do
that what do you do with this thing perhaps you know you know it's like trying
to hide a corpse
really right really what can you do when you get right down to it i i think i
would probably deflate
it then at least you can hide it in the jaw or something right but then of
course if you wanted
to use it you'd have to blow it up you'd be so exhausted you probably you know
nothing you could do
wow nothing's easy have you noticed that you know you probably wind up having
to apologize to the doll
i'm i'm really sorry yeah it's just not tonight yeah uh and and and and what
what about with uh
tell me about a real woman how are things going i mean you've got to do you or
not
no there's nobody there's nobody right now no there's nobody uh or on the
horizon well i'm sorry
to hear that um would you like to get married again you think i don't think
that's uh in the cards
unless there was a prenup of some sort right you know obviously that's true uh
you know it's it's sad
though uh when you observe married men they're very they're very frightened of
their wives you think so
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i've observed that i've observed that you know it's
like it's really sad
one of the saddest sides is you know you'll be with a married guy be playing
poker or something and
and all of a sudden in the middle of the game he'll look at his watch he'll go
oh geez
oh my god i gotta get out of here oh my wife is gonna kill me you know hey put
put you got fifty
dollars in the pot you idiot you know and i don't care keep it i gotta go you
know
oh it's sad yeah i'm sorry to hear that that's awful but um are you saying that
i was that guy
no no no i'm sorry to hear just generally i thought you implied that i was not
no no no
you know what i saw uh a few a few months ago was you starring in a woody allen
film i don't recall
the name of him what was the name of the film the woody allen film you were in
that's really none of your business day you know i i come out here you're
asking me a lot of personal
questions about woody allen i know woody allen i don't really need to discuss
him with you okay it
was it was a movie that's all you need to know okay you know dave i don't
really think you're
bringing out my best self in this interview sorry there's the best self inside
here somewhere all right
and i don't think you're getting to him okay well let me try another one okay
okay yeah uh you there
was a uh something with rosie o'donald does that ring a bell uh was there a
okay fist fight
yes we had a fist fight on my show this year oh man yeah
she's a formidable opponent
i would think so
everything work out though with that she's in the hospital
see i didn't hear that i had no idea and my parents are still dead
god rest their souls now larry the curb your enthusiasm now how about this
starts out a few years ago a nice little idea for a show and bang you're
beginning your seventh
season that's just tremendous congratulations thank you thank you yes 10 p.m on
the hbo
i thought it's 9 p.m says right here 10 p.m on the hbo i thought it was nine
you want to fight me
uh but i'm looking forward to the seinfeld stuff that's going to be a huge
television event yeah
congratulations on that thank you congratulations on being out here and being
charming and amusing as
always oh well thank you and i hope you come back very soon i'll try larry david
ladies and gentlemen
thank you larry nice job very funny you