Name: Bill Murray's First "Late Night" Appearance | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-02-01T16:00:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Murray's First "Late Night" Appearance | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Murray's First "Late Night" Appearance | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-01. Transcript available.

it's a pleasure for me to introduce my first guest with credits that include
saturday night live
the film's meatballs caddyshack where the buffalo roam and stripes bill murray
has become
one of the top box office draws in show business and besides that he's a very
funny man and it's pleasure to have him on our first program ladies and
gentlemen
hi bill how's it going fine nice to see you good thanks for being on the show i
certainly appreciate
that oh good well i just wanted i hope you don't take any offense offense at
what well i just came
in it's you folks in the studio probably don't know it but i had to go feed to
i had to go back home and
i came right back and uh i got caught in traffic they were a little nervous out
there and it was
no problem it's just that i'm not wearing shoes right now no i'm just kidding i
have to do that
oh there was a problem earlier no no they shouldn't they didn't tell you
obviously you look sedated so
obviously you don't know something happened that we uh don't fully understand
no well no nothing happened
well uh anyway i'm i'm happy that whatever the difficulty was you uh got it
ironed out
oh yeah no problem okay um can we go on with the questioning yeah where about
that or no okay go
ahead whatever uh you were in you were in the stripes i missed the first part
of the show by the way
what happened is it going well i know this is the first show and i think this
guy needs a little support
where were we
um you were going to ask me about the last time i was on your show oh yeah now
well this may not be of any
interest anybody and and it's barely interesting to me but let me uh they're
pumped up out there
what are you playing with there uh it's just lint it's just lint coming inside
my pocket here i got
more now this is interesting you you were in a movie last year that was number
five in the box office
tabulations that was number three number three you're a major star and yet here
you are playing with lint balls
well i wish that you would quit trying to run my life no i mean this
i mean it i'm really you've got everyone here under your spell it's obvious
uh you know you have them doing deep breathing exercises before the show
i don't like to see them you know i know you're on here in late night where no
one can stop you
but this kind of thing is not going to go on as long as i have some connections
here in this building
the rca building i saw what you did to mr wizard don herbert he has the wizard
in his pocket
if you just can't use science for your own ends you can't play god with people
when are you going
to get off the high horse smell the coffee brewing so do you miss saturday
night live
sure i miss it uh i miss going back i miss the old gang bob tischler of course
my old friend is
producing it my brother brian doyle murray is on the show and one of the stars
the show
wait a second what's happening to me i just fell back into your old trick your
old mind game
i'm reading these goofy questions answering your little questions off the card
do i miss saturday night you never missed anybody or anything
you got out of indianapolis and didn't look back
i oh yeah i'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall on you man and i want to
be there when it hits
the floor you know what i'm saying better yet i'm gonna do nothing about you
even though i could
you know it's interesting i had a chance to strangle richard nixon and i didn't
and i regret it
and here i am inches from i don't know what to keep me from doing so now that
you're well known is it
harder to be funny well it's a little bit different you know you go out to a
restaurant you can't eat
you know and people want your autograph and so forth and it's hard to eat am i
doing what's happening
i swear letterman if it's the last thing i'm going to do i'm going to make
every
second of your life from this moment on a living hell
for what you've done no no no go ahead and talk to them they're all singing
your song tonight
go ahead go ahead i'll never make it home tonight i'll tell you what i'll never
make it home
we should see the guys he's got in my dressing room waiting we're just waiting
to break the towel
off bill uh and then we'll be right back
the name of the program here is late night my name is david letterman this is
bill murray and
bill you were about to say i'm sorry i interrupted there i owe you the biggest
apology anyone has ever
given anyone i owe you an explanation for the way i behaved
i have been working like a dog on a project that no one else is even involved
in that's why it's so
damn hard i'm doing it all by myself and doctor has told me that i could crack
at any time and
unfortunately it had to happen here tonight your first show that's kind of a
breakdown here huh well i have
a sort of a chemical imbalance it's not anything it's just a salt problem and i
just need a certain
amount of maintenance and i forgot i was rushing around you know and everything
and i just forgot uh
you know to take the pill and everything but you're okay now
um well i'll tell you i i'm a little embarrassed but i i am okay now oh that's
great i just wish you
because i love this guy i love this guy so much and if you knew there's only
one person that's helped me
through all of us and it's been david with a phone call or a note just a little
scribble on you know
from the desk of david letterman it's so sweet it's there it's there you know i
opened the mailbox
candy gram the candy it's everything it's all these things they add up you know
it's like oh bill do you
need a ride for christmas or anything like that he's always been there the only
one and uh when you
called earlier today i said don't worry about a tie right yeah yeah yeah
he was he's been great ah i love this can we do this no we can't do this
okay enough with the small all right i got a little bit misty and it's over
i understand you brought a video tape with you something i made in my backyard
and i'm so proud
of this this is the project i'm talking about it's it's this is what you're
working so hard on this is
it and i've been working night and day all by myself i found a little animal
and uh this little guy
was being kept and forced to work in a chinese restaurant uh he's six six weeks
old that's four four
years in adult years old four years old and this little guy had to remember how
to prepare 50
different chinese meals now imagine a four-year-old trying to they were feeding
this guy msg every
every three hours and he was a wreck an emotional and physical wreck and i just
grabbed him and i said
we're going out the back door and i this guy's been in my backyard and just
raising just high holy
you're going to take a look at this bill i guess you just talk over this and
the folks watch the
monitors at home and use your tvs i guess his name is cancun and there he is
this is this guy's in my
backyard and look at him look at him i rented this panda so he'd have a
companion and look at this the
kids in the neighborhood they come and they visit and it's it's all for fun
with this guy and if
you could have seen him just a couple of weeks ago you know and it's quite a
place you got there
oh yeah it's great well they've i'll tell you my neighborhood's gone crazy ever
since this little
guy rolled in yeah and uh uh you know i it's cost me a heck of a lot of money
because all these
these children show up and you got to feed them you know and and here this one
you know when i like
him a lot i give him a little panda this one i'm crazy about here i gave her a
big panda a giraffe and
a camel but look at what they've done i had to put all these railings and stuff
in the backyard because
the bear has just taken over my life and look at him if you could have seen him
and now
look at him
wow that's amazing we're doing some wonderful work
can we look at a little of that again well i don't know if we uh do we actually
have time
it's all right well we're leaving now oh here it is a little more exciting the
second time around
i tell you what we're going to we're going to uh
we're leaving now we'll be right back bill don't you worry i understand bill
that uh on your road to
recent rehabilitation uh something that was very important to you uh you
mentioned earlier well
besides you
i uh my doctor told me told me 10 days ago bill you'd have been dead today that
would be that would
have been so i would be dead like uh like 13 days now yeah he said you would be
dead if it weren't for
aerobics aerobic exercise aerobic exercise to save my life turn my life around
and i will talk at length
about it but i know you don't know darn the luck
so
so you're going to
well what you're going to do you're going to do a little of that for us well
wait a minute
well it's a a little bit smell a little bit it's really part of a morning it's
a morning uh i like
to do it early while i'm still fresh or sometimes after lunch after a big meal
just to blow it up at
late night like this well technically this is morning now well anytime after
midnight generally
i gotta feed karen coon in a couple hours say do you guys know the new newton
john thing
i'm
you're saying all the things i know you like you're making with conversation
i gotta handle you just right do you know what i mean
i'm sure you'll understand my point of view
we know each other mentally
you gotta know that you're bringing out the animal in me
let's get physical physical i wanna get physical
i'm hurt i think i'm really hurt
i'm hurt i think i'm really hurt
you