Name: Super Dave Osborne's Celebrity Close Call | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-02-05T23:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Super Dave Osborne's Celebrity Close Call | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Super Dave Osborne's Celebrity Close Call | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-05. Transcript available.

Our first guest is in the third year of his own hit television program on the
Showtime Cable Network.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to this show the greatest daredevil
superstar entertainer of our time,
Super Dave Osborne. Dave!
Dave Osborne.
Hi, Dave, Maria. Nice to see you. Thank you for coming.
Nice to see you. Thank you very much.
There's a Super Dave sweatshirt for you. Are you a 15 1⁄2, 34?
Yeah, that's it, exactly. As a matter of fact, that's very nice of you.
I really appreciate it because a lot of times people will bring stuff out, but
this actually will fit.
Thank you very much.
Well, I'll tell you something. I receive a lot of gifts, and when I receive
clothing that isn't my size,
to me, I'm saying the guy didn't mean to bring it. It's a lack of respect.
Exactly. Well, this will be just perfect. Thank you very much. Thank you.
This is great. Exactly my size. Thank you.
I'm really, uh, very thoughtful of you.
Happy birthday.
Thank you. That's so thoughtful of you to get the perfect size.
Did you have a good Thanksgiving?
Great.
You know, I was, uh, I was watching your show, and it occurs to me, have you
ever done this?
Have you ever thought about having celebrities do any of those stunts?
I know they're very dangerous.
Well, um, I know what I'm doing.
Sorry.
And if I were to involve a celebrity without a lot of practice and years of, uh,
of experience that I have,
there could be a serious accident. We could be involved in a lawsuit.
Sure.
I tried something with a superstar on one of my shows, and it was almost a
total disaster.
Oh, that's too bad.
So, uh, that was a good lesson.
Yeah.
Fortunately, we didn't hear it, so, uh...
Oh, but it was actually taped?
Listen, I talked to your producer, Billy, tonight.
Bob.
Bob.
And he said that...
He said there would be no tape.
Mm-hmm.
That's the deal we made.
Yeah, we have some tape books.
Now, my staff, I know, they sent it over, but I don't think...
I'm here to push a book, so if we can just get onto that, I would love it.
Let's take a look.
Hal, if you have the tape loaded up, let's go ahead and roll that.
This would be the...
You don't mind.
I mean, it'll be a lot of fun.
We'll just see.
And if it's a problem later, we'll take it out of the show.
All right, just know that this involved...
It was a mistake.
It was a mistake involving a superstar, and we shouldn't be showing it.
Oh, okay.
Oh, well, this will be fun.
Kind of an inside glimpse, behind-the-scenes show business.
Here we go.
There you go.
Thanks, Hal.
It's Hal Gurney right there.
Wow!
What an incredible human being!
Whoa!
Look out!
Wow!
What's he gonna do now?
Oh, my!
Look at that!
A complete 180-degree spin!
What can he possibly do to top this?
Ah!
He's got to top this!
Super David!
Super David, you were right in your own point.
How are you?
Oh, boy.
Dave, let me be the first to congratulate you.
That was the most brilliant opening I have ever seen in the history of
television.
Guys, let's roll those opening billboards right now, okay?
Are we off?
Uh, yeah.
Guys, are we off?
Yeah, we're off.
Yeah.
Oh, I think I heard my collarbone snap.
I can't believe how much pain I'm in.
Whoa.
Let me give you a little help here.
Oh, my God.
Super, I just, uh, I had a couple of questions I wanted to ask.
What do you want?
Well, I just can't believe what you just did.
I mean, you could have killed yourself before the show even started.
What an incredible stunt.
Fat face, that wasn't the stunt.
I'm sorry, it's my fault we are late.
But my car is in the shop and this is alone and I'm not used to driving a stick
shift.
Wow.
Man, alive.
Who was that?
That was Ray Charles.
Yeah, I know.
No, it was a major mistake.
I know, but it was fun to look at, wasn't it?
Yeah.
All right.
We drove 42 miles, 28 of them in a circle.
Do you have any other tape we can look at?
We're not showing any.
Okay, let's do a commercial.
All right, we'll get to the book and then maybe there's some other tape.
We'll be right back here.
How about you know Jimmy Connors, being a great athlete yourself?
I don't know him personally.
You ever played tennis with him?
No, I haven't.
I haven't had the opportunity, but I'd love to.
Do you play tennis?
Yes, I do.
What about golf?
Yeah, I play golf too.
Softball?
Can we just push the book?
Basketball?
Yeah, I play basketball.
Touch football?
I touch football.
I box.
I wrestle.
Ice hockey.
Are you a bowler?
Are you a bowler?
Are you a bowler?
Yeah, the book, Letters of Hope, Super Dave Osborne.
This was, I guess, the original, and this did very well.
Well, I can thank you very much, the support that Showtime and you have given
me.
This sold out.
It's now in paperback.
Yeah.
That's great.
And I think you read a couple excerpts on the show.
Well, I read a beautiful story on the show, and this one dealt with letters
that people
have sent me throughout the years, showing how if your love relationship has a
problem,
you can overcome anything.
Nothing is insurmountable.
Absolutely.
And this would be, I guess, the sequel, and when you're looking in your
bookstore, look
for volume two there.
That's right.
You know, both of these photos, I can't help but notice that you're really a
very good-looking
man, Dave.
So do you have...
What about camping?
Do you ever go camping?
Do you have anything?
I would love to read a story.
Oh, I'm sorry, sure.
There you go.
This is a book.
I get millions of letters, and what we did is we're...
We're grouping them into books now, and this one has to do with father-daughter,
father-son,
mother-son, mother-daughter relationships.
No more important than it is now.
Absolutely.
Never more important than that.
There's one letter in here that is absolutely beautiful, and beautiful for the
holidays.
It shows how a father begins to understand his daughter at a later age in life.
It's absolutely beautiful.
And it was said to be by a Madeline Mandel, and the father's name is Joe.
I won't do the last name.
It seems that one evening, Joe went into his daughter Janet's bedroom, and
there was a vibrator
on the bed.
And Janet came into the bedroom, and the father said, what's going on here?
What is happening?
And she said, listen, Daddy, I'm 45 years old.
I still live at home.
I hate my job.
I don't have a man.
I have to have a life.
So the father shrugs his shoulders and walks out of the bedroom.
The next night, Janet comes home from work, and the father is sitting at the
bar, and he's
got a martini in one hand and the vibrator in the other.
And she says, Daddy, what are you doing?
And he says, what does it look like I'm doing?
I'm having a drink with my son-in-law.
That is his hope.
You know, that's just about the ugliest thing I've ever heard.
Volume 2, so look for the little Roman numeral 2 there when you're in your
bookstore.
Now, we have some more tape of you in action.
I don't want to show any more tape.
What is this other bit of tape?
I know what was sent over here.
You're in part of an association to promote some kind of highway, what is it?
The Singalong Society of North America.
Right.
And what I was going to do with my stunt coordinator, Fuji, the Singalong
Society of North America
believes that if I can promote singing along, it will end highway profanity,
because
you can't sing a swear word.
Oh, you sing in your car.
Absolutely.
I see.
So I was going to go on a five-day, 5,000-mile trip, and Fuji prepared this bus,
state-of-the-art
inside.
1,000 miles a day.
And on top, we had chaise lounges and patio furniture and an exercise bike and
a barbecue
and an upright piano.
And I was going to sing while traveling, and there was a slight problem.
I don't want to show this thing because I'm redoing it now.
I'll go ahead and roll it.
Let's see Super Dave here on his five-day journey around America.
Great.
Why don't you follow me to the county line?
Okay.
We'll get to see what it's like to sing along.
Sure.
Okay, food.
Start the bus.
And put on my favorite song.
You know what?
He even has the lyrics here for me.
He doesn't forget anything.
Have a great week.
See you next week.
Trailer for sale.
Rooms to let 50 cents.
No phone, no pool, no pets.
I ain't got no cigarettes.
Two hours of pushing broom visor.
Paid for 12 for a bedroom.
Mama.
Maid of means, but no means.
Gate of the road.
Third rock star, midnight train.
Remember, if you're going on a vacation, put a couch on your car.
Give this a try.
It's sensational fun.
Shoes.
I don't weigh no yin and dews.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
Short, but not too long.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
And I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
I smoke low stovies I have found.
Thank you.