Name: Jennifer Garner Went Head To Head With A Hammerhead Shark | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-02-14T23:04:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jennifer Garner Went Head To Head With A Hammerhead Shark | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jennifer Garner Went Head To Head With A Hammerhead Shark | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-14. Transcript available.

ladies and gentlemen our first guest tonight stars in a new film entitled valentine's
day
which opens on friday a sunday talk about marketing this is perfect yeah i mean
how
dumb would they be if they opened this thing on labor day uh it opens on a friday
valentine's
day is sunday please welcome the always radiant and delightful jennifer garner
hi jennifer hello
how you doing great thank you nice to see i'm fine thank you very nice nice to
see you always a
pleasure always a pleasure you know we have the uh the swimsuit uh uh model uh
and it's a big big
honor i'm aware did you you uh you modeled right you did some modeling when you
were before you're
acting no really no oh i thought you were i mean you know it's i mean when i
started models were
on the cover of magazines and actors were actors and then suddenly i started
and this trend had begun
where suddenly you're supposed to be on magazine covers which is just hell on
earth basically yeah
stand i mean it's just these girls get paid for a reason and now they expect
actors to look like
models we don't want to i don't want to look like a model i don't want to be a
model you you know you
look you look pretty good oh david you look pretty good uh would you consider
it i mean i i and i feel
silly asking this uh but i mean go ahead ask no no if if somebody came and said
we're doing a little
swimsuit no no no no no not enough money in the world not enough double-sided
tape in the world to
keep everything in place really you you've walked past a mirror lately right no
i mean you know you
just you don't it's fine clothes are great i feel great i mean and i can go
back if you want to see
me in a bathing suit you can look at season something of alias and i wore a
bathing suit
for an episode and go watch that because that looked good now i'm very happy
with myself
including as well you should be thank you what season was it
but they uh was what was the deal when they had to put you in a in a shark tank
well that wasn't alias
that was something else did they put you in a shark tank um yeah i've never
told this story i'm so
glad you brought it up thank you um yes so forever ago a long time ago back
when i would wear bathing
suits i was cast uh as a special guest star on an episode of the new fantasy
island that had malcolm
mcdowell on it as the the guy and um i was very excited it shot in hawaii and i
went there
and uh it turned out i was playing a dolphin but i wasn't just a dolphin i was
a fantasy magical
dolphin who could turn back into a girl so were you you half a human half
dolphin or one time you'd
be a dolphin one time you'd be a woman more like in my recollection that
sometimes i was a dolphin
sometimes i was a girl so anyway they needed a shot underwater and they said we're
going to take you to
the local aquarium and shoot it because the ocean is too murky and we can't get
the shot so we went to
the local aquarium and they said we'll just put you in the biggest tank and i
walk up to the biggest
tank and there it is full of hammerhead and tiger sharks no joke i'm not
kidding you no oh well that's
a mistake no they get it they'll get them out they'll partition the tank
exactly that's that's what yes
you would think there i'm a sag member there are you in rules you cannot put me
in the tank with sharks
no the insurance you know they said basically you live in l.a you live in a
city of sharks so there should
be a problem uh that was just a little something yeah but um anyways so they
said don't worry the
sharks have just been fed don't worry it's all good aloha that's what that's
they think everything's
fine they literally said it was fine hammerheads like this so i um i basically
was a young actress
and i said sure no problem okay if that's what i'm supposed to do i got in the
tank and they gave me
oxygen um because i wanted to see where they were and they said just take your
time when you feel like
they're all where you want them to be then go dive through this tunnel and come
up to the top and
tread water so i went down to the bottom i'm on my little oxygen i'm trying to
keep my heart calm
because they can smell fear and i'm thinking you know okay ready all right that
one's over there and
that dude's over there and she's over there and i dive down through the tunnel
and i come
hammerhead to jennifer head with the hugest shark and i swear to you the first
thought in my mind is
julia roberts does not have to do this oh boy no this you're right this is not
that's not good
wow now for heaven's sakes what do you do you know because you don't want to
keep going really you
don't stop and try to have a chat i just went under and then i had to go up to
the top and tread water
and they weren't killing cut and you're treading water and you don't you can't
see the sharks under
you but you know there are sharks under you and you've seen jaws so it's just
you're just there
thinking dun dun dun i mean it was but honest to god when you're face to face
thank you yeah that's right
what i mean at that moment uh i i mean the fright uh flight kind of mechanism
don't you think i gotta
get out of here how do you i mean could you just go right past the guy just
think i gotta get the shot
so this is done yeah but no i mean there i really didn't have a choice i just
had to i was either
going to make out with the shark in the tunnel or go under the shark in the
tunnel because he has a fin
on top yeah so i went under do we have footage of you on fantasy island i hope
so all right let's take a
look i don't know if this is this the shark story jennifer let's take a look
let's see oh bradley white
there's there that's you as the dolphin wait here i come wait for it
that was the magic wow
the special effects uh were fantastic weren't they i mean when you transform
that show didn't make it
more than five episodes wow wow uh now tell you have another story about this
uh oceans my dolphin time
dolphin yes when i played a dolphin i did research and i spent the day with
that very dolphin um
who was a he it turns out was a male dolphin yeah it was a male dolphin but you
know whatever so i was
on the side of this tank talking to the dolphin trainer and uh the dolphin was
swimming really close
to me and i was trying to reach out i couldn't quite reach because you want to
feel that that skin you
know it looked so cool what does it feel like well i'm going to tell you okay
so um i had my feet
dangling in the water right and the dolphin came and swam right over my foot
and i thought that was so
cool i mean i said look this dolphin is swimming he likes me or she so so i was
then i really wanted
to feel it again because it feels like this kind of cool leathery whatever so i
have my foot as far in
as i can go right and the dolphin comes around again and i said this is so it
felt like we were playing a
game it was so fun and the dolphin started going faster and faster right around
my foot and like
really rubbing against my leg and i thought this dolphin really is into me and
then
the dolphin does something and i said to the trainer oh i think the dolphin
just peed
and he said no ma'am no
and um i said the dolphin did something i think the dolphin just
he just pooped in the water and he said no ma'am and i said i what and he said
he was just saying mahalo
which means thank you in hawaiian david oh my oh my and i said to him that's so
weird i mean
he swear i didn't feel anything and he said that's often the way it is isn't it
ma'am
often the way it is
wow wow you should write a book i've never heard anything like that
i mean i've heard of people talking about being with the dolphins and swimming
with the dolphins but
i you know i never you've never heard no well i mean i just saved it all for
you yeah thank you
very much uh now let's talk about the uh the film valentine's day speaking of
romance
it's a huge uh huge uh huge cast uh and and i think yeah the and the title of
the film says
everything and the release date says everything and it's uh many many couples
uh various complications
how love can go right how love can go wrong and everything unexpected in in
between uh again gary
marshall is the director of the film and what is the part you play um i play
her name is julia fitzpatrick
and she's a school teacher um which came really frighteningly naturally to me
and anyway she's
a school teacher and she uh in the beginning of the movie she's in love with
love she's a real optimist
and she's in love with patrick dempsey which is always a good way to start a
film right and uh you
know things go awry and she turns to her friends to help her through and your
best friend in this is
ashton kutcher is that right yeah yeah and and he's uh concerned about you he's
your best friend
but so often with the case like this uh well i can't say anymore because i don't
want to spoil
don't spoil valentine's day you'll never guess that's right that's right
and let her and spoil the whole holiday
uh we want to see a clip here jennifer what is it going to be i think is it a
pinata clip
yes um so yeah after my heart has been broken i go to my best friend jessica biel
who isn't she
great yeah i think she's coming yeah she is um anyway uh jess might get in a
bikini for you if you
ask her now i don't put this on me i'll text you i'll ask you anyways um i go
to her party which is
an i hate valentine's day party right people have become cynical things have
been disappointing over
the years one reason or another i hate valentine's day i mean people feel that
way all right let's
take a look here we go it's called valentine's day and you can go see it on valentine's
day it's a
great date movie it's a great movie to see with your friends guys it's not too
it's a it's not too
sappy or chicky but you'll really win if you take a girl there if you know what
i'm saying
so go jennifer garner ladies and gentlemen nice to see you again that is
beautiful that is gorgeous