Name: Fan Request: Dave Announces The Birth Of His Son Harry | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-02-23T16:00:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: Dave Announces The Birth Of His Son Harry | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: Dave Announces The Birth Of His Son Harry | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-23. Transcript available.

i was unable to be here on the television program last night and a couple of
months ago i said to
paul if it comes to that if there's like an emergency nature to this pregnancy
i would
like you if you don't mind to fill in and host the show you did another
wonderful job thank you
very much thank you what an honor though to be asked thanks for asking it it is
a privilege
to be doing under those circumstances but what a nutty uh thing you do every
night i'm telling you
well what a nutty thing i did last night yeah you did you had a few laughs last
night let's hear a
little bit i uh uh i don't even know where to begin and and like i pointed out
earlier many people have
had children yes but uh uh so here's here's the way the day begins you we go to
the hospital at like a
quarter of seven and you think you know we'll be having lunch and home by three
i i thought maybe i
could even you know be here on the show i was looking forward to it i thought
this would be
lovely and and so uh uh we get there at quarter of seven at 11 30 p.m this is
quarter seven a.m yeah
and and by the way uh labor my god what a biology lesson that is
get there early and sit down front if you can
man it just
you know where those babies come out i heard yeah
so uh and i and i'm there with uh our good friend uh dr lou erroneous a sweet
man he saved my life
he's been on the show many many times before and and and here's what lou did he
provided uh uh and how
how do how do women do this why why do they why do they i mean if somebody
explained if you had a
choice between being a male and a female and they gave you all the the pluses
and the minuses and then
they get to the part about being pregnant and giving birth well there'd be no
women on this planet
whatsoever everybody be checking the mailbox by the way check your mailbox
because there may be a check
in it from me uh because i got to doing the math on this thing and it's just
geometrically
geometrically it's an impossibility it just can't be done it's like going
faster than the speed of light
fine einstein it ain't gonna happen uh but anyway that's not why you called so
i'm i'm at the
the hospital there uh with regina and lou errone who shows up for all medical
procedures and i love
him for it and and pretty soon i realized that lou's got a stack of menus it's
about 11 o'clock in the
morning and and and and and lou's i think there's my personal consultant yes
well no lou's there to
order in food all day oh yeah so we had a lovely lunch and still no baby about
five o'clock in the
afternoon lou comes in again like this like he's been christmas shopping and it's
it's sushi he's
got carry out soon now you know like eight feet to my left is a woman ah ah and
lou's got tekamaki
california roll you want some wasabi on whoa ah so uh as as as day turns in
tonight and there's
still no baby lou is saying to me uh what about chinese and i said lou i'm i'm
not hungry i've eaten
i've eaten more today than i have all weekend and he said he said trust me he
said i know this from
medical school you'll be hungry later and it takes a while to get the stuff up
here we better order now
we ordered chinese dinner well it comes in around nine and and it's excuse me
honey lou and i and the
rest of the medical staff will be in the lounge yeah you know if there's a
thing you've got the thing if
you need us we'll be so we go over and we're eating chinese food okay so i
think that's the end of it so
finally i say okay i gotta take a walk so lou takes me over to this place where
they call it the
postpartum room where you go after the event but i'm thinking well there ain't
gonna be no event we'll
come back in another week we'll be back labor day coincidentally enough so we
go over there and there's
this big tub of chocolate chip cookies lou says would you like some cookies no
i don't i don't have room
for the sushi why would i and and plus it's like now the the birth of my child
is like an afterthought
it's an asterisk it's it's it's it's like eat out new york or something it's a
food fat testing tasting
festival so uh anyway then at 11 58 uh uh you got yourself a baby and oh my god
you know it just
nothing it just was crazy and and the the thing that first struck me is i i
could never imagine ever
being a part of something that turned out this beautiful it was just
overwhelming
and of course today i'm sick as a dog from eating too much uh and uh um he's a
uh uh they weighed him
in he's uh uh what is he's 11 pounds no no i'm sorry wait a minute he's nine
pounds 11 ounces
that's a great baby he's 21 inches long and and when he cries he he looks like
uh edward g robinson oh
well that's very nice yeah yeah and you have any idea what i named him have any
idea tell you tell
saddam
i know it's controversial
but what are you gonna do
wow
but i i can't say enough about uh poor regina i mean it's like they hooked her
up to a tractor
tractor and dragged her downtown and then dragged her back uptown
gave her a damp cloth and then dragged her back downtown and then dragged her
uptown again
um uh and and the the the staff i want to thank dr hudson uh ada and everybody
at new york hospital
what an amazing overwhelming experience and here here's the name of the boy uh
i named him after my
father my father this is interesting perhaps only to me my father passed away
when he was 57.
yeah i'm 56 years old and yesterday i had my first child so i named him for my
father
and his name is harry joseph letterman that's
god bless dad and god bless harry now i'll wrap this up in a second i do have
some photos that i want
to show you here's a rare picture of me and dr aroney when we're not eating
yes this is me this is dr aroney right there we're taking a break between
snacks
okay and then this next one let's see what this is this i think is what is this
this is oh that's me
testing the camera you gotta be you gotta be ready
here's the boy right here
in this picture here it looks like he's gotten a hold of one of my old hair
pieces i was gonna say
look at that head of hair and the color of it it's red isn't it and then
finally this
is uh this was me just holding him a little bit and there you go and that'll be
it for the baby
that's the best congratulations
you and regina congratulations thank you
so all you did was host a little talk show yesterday huh that's nothing i'll
tell you
congratulations that was beautiful thank you very much let me tell you who's on
the program tonight
our lovely dear old friend regis philben is here ladies gentlemen you know him
you love him you can't live
without him uh amy brenneman from judging amy is on the show this evening
indian larry do you know anything about indian larry i'm starting to learn a
little bit about him
indian larry is is like the world's greatest motorcycle guru uh-huh it transcends
motorcycle
riding it transcends motorcycle repair and design or even retail sales really
yes he he he is a
motorcycle guru i see and we're lucky enough to have uh indian larry on the
show tonight and all
night long on 53rd street indian larry will be doing a specialty motorcycle
riding tricks and stunts
well that's a fantastic in fact is indian larry ready now indian larry okay
what a great day to have
him on let's go outside and because it's such a momentous day for you and that's
right i'll always
remember this day how do we get because of the baby and indian larry yeah
and and of course it was so cute when the the little boy looked up at me and
said who's the old guy
the little boy who's the old boy who's the old boy who's the old boy who's the
old man who's the old boy