Name: Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Letting Your Monkey Get Married | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-02-28T16:00:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Letting Your Monkey Get Married | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Letting Your Monkey Get Married | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-28. Transcript available.

We're doing something a little different. I don't think we've ever tried this
before,
but all items, all ten items on tonight's top ten list
are the work of one of the Late Show writers, Joe Grossman.
Joe, come on out, will you? Here's Joe Grossman.
How you doing?
Thank you very much.
Joe, by the way, newlywed. How's that going, Joe?
It's good.
Good. And your wife's name is?
She told me I'm not supposed to talk about her on television.
They're off to a flying start, aren't they?
Joe, thank you for doing this tonight.
You wrote the entire list, and I certainly appreciate all of the hard work.
The category, questions to ask yourself before letting your monkey get married.
We talked about that earlier.
Two monkeys, I believe, in India. They got married.
And with any relationship, any union, there are questions that come to mind.
We have ten questions to ask yourself before letting your monkey get married.
And Joe, if you don't mind, I understand you're going to read the list for us
tonight.
Joe Grossman, ladies and gentlemen.
This is his work.
That's a good look, by the way, the T-shirt, the pocket tee, and the hoodie.
Okay.
Okay, here we go.
All right, read the list, Joe. Take it away.
Do you read the numbers, or do I?
Start with the numbers, and they go down.
Top ten questions to ask yourself before letting your monkey get married.
Number ten, where can I hire a monkey rabbi?
That's if your monkey's Jewish, right?
Number nine, should he get a prenup to protect his bananas?
Solid.
Number eight, do I get along with the monkeys-in-law?
Oh, yeah.
Number seven, band or DJ?
That's an important question for any wedding.
For any wedding, right, right.
And at your wedding, you had a band, right?
That's good.
Number six, will I mind the newspaper headlines referring to me as local freak?
Or kook, kook, I might have gone with kook, local kook.
That's good.
Yeah.
Very strong.
Number five, can the bride's father pay for the wedding on his circus pension?
Number four, am I ready to attend the creepiest bachelor party of my life?
Did you have a bachelor party?
You didn't have a bachelor party?
Why not?
What about your writer buddies?
They didn't throw you up?
I asked them not to.
Oh.
Buzz kill.
Number three, when did my life turn into a Kevin James movie?
He did that to the zookeeper.
Number two, would he rather go to New York and have a gay monkey marriage?
And now you reprise the topic.
And the number one question to ask yourself before letting your monkey get
married,
does men's warehouse rent urine-proof tuxedos?
There you go.
Joe Grossman, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, Joe.
Congratulations on your wedding.
Okay, thank you.
Now you go, you just give me, give me that.
Joe Grossman.
Thank you.