Name: Dan Aykroyd Jams With The Band | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-03-20T22:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dan Aykroyd Jams With The Band | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dan Aykroyd Jams With The Band | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-20. Transcript available.

Let's bring out our first guest. Here's a funny man. Here's a very talented guy.
He's never been, was not on this show, was not on the old show. We're very
excited that he's making his debut with us here this evening. From Blues
Brother to Ghostbuster to Conehead, our first guest has had some of the great
comic roles on film. His latest movie is My Girl 2 and it opens on Friday. It's
his first time here, so folks, please make him feel welcome. Dan Aykroyd.
Dan, nice to see you. How are you? Pretty good. It's a pleasure to have you
here. Yeah, thanks a lot. Of course, we did do Carson once. That's right, back
in like 86 or something, 87. You, me, Chevy Chase and Johnny were there. That's
correct, that's correct. You ever talk to John at all? I hear from him
occasionally. Yeah, the drummer. He's a drummer now. He spends a lot of time
working in the yard. Yeah.
It's okay. We're all headed that way. Some of us anyway. You know, I've always,
for years and years, I've admired your work. I think you're one of the few
people that really gets it right when they do it.
Well, thank you very much.
And I mentioned that you were supposed to be on the old show, but you weren't.
Yeah. And this is your first time here. Is there a reason? Have you been
avoiding us? Was there a problem?
Uh, well, uh, there was, uh, a ferry accident, uh, and a lot of cars went in
and the sound in Martha's Vineyard where I lived and I had to help the Navy
divers rescue some of, no, I, what happened that day was I slept in David.
Uh huh. I actually slept in. I was supposed to do the show. I was on Martha's
Vineyard. I set the alarm and it sort of, you know, went off too late and I
woke up and realized I have to be in New York in an hour.
Right. What, Dan. From a fog bound island. Dan, what time did you wake up?
Well, I was, I was up at, you know, I'd set it for like noon and then I woke up
at two and it was one of those. But, you know, the last time.
So you're just sleeping in is what you say. Yeah, I slept in and I felt like,
you know, that it was kind of like coming to the teacher with a bad excuse.
Well, Bill Murray, as you remember, came on the show and did make up for it
because, in fact, he came on in the old Peacock days and he drew blood from you.
Oh, that's right. We all became blood brothers.
Well, you know, he asked me for a liver enzyme sample from you.
So, uh, he said that, you know, that he's got the, now I've got the Monoject 1
or the Monoject 2 here.
These are horse tranquilizer. Now, I don't know if you want to administer
yourself here.
You don't need to do this because I keep a supply of that at the icebox
backstage.
Okay, well, why don't we just, uh, why don't we just, uh, are we ready?
Toss him in the Hudson. Sure, that's right.
Okay, fine. Bill, we'll be, uh...
What else do you have in there?
No, no enzyme sample.
What do you have in this bag? It looks like you're going to or coming from
class.
It's, uh, it's kind of, well, I've got a few harps. I've got some old Vaseline
here.
All right, I'm sorry I asked.
I've got, I have, I brought you a book.
Now, I know that, uh, you are one of the, one of the great skeptics of our time.
Thank you very much.
And, uh, I brought you the definitive UFO Bible.
Uh, this is by a gentleman, Timothy Goode.
Thank you very much.
It is, uh, the compendium of all that we know about UFO research.
The worldwide UFO cover-up.
That's right.
All right, I'll leaf through this, uh, tonight.
Yeah.
And, uh, uh, if you're in for, if, uh, if, uh, oh, oh.
Oh, that's a joke.
It might levitate.
Yeah.
But now, have you ever seen, uh, an unidentified flying object?
I, yeah.
Yeah.
Paul Schaefer the other night at House of Blues.
And now, wait a minute.
Hey!
That's a joke.
That band joke.
Um, I saw something once in Massachusetts, uh, that, uh, that three of us saw.
We saw two objects tracking across the sky at 100,000 feet, doing maneuvers
that, you know,
F-18s wish they could do.
So, now, if you actually believe that they exist, and I'm not saying that they
don't, but how
come everybody hasn't seen them?
Well, a lot of people have.
I think if you look in the book, you'll see that there are a lot of photographs
in there,
a lot of military people, a lot of pilots, a lot of people that are quite
credible.
A lot of cops.
Like how many?
A million?
Have a million people seen UFOs?
Uh, it's, it, there's, there's like 80,000 really credible sightings that have
been reported.
You call me when you get to a million.
Okay.
All right.
Actually.
Last winter, it was just bone cold.
It was like in, about this time last winter.
Bone cold.
I know that feeling.
Yeah.
And I thought I saw something.
I looked out, and it caught my attention, and I looked across the way, and it
was strange
lights, very low to the ground, and then later I found out it was the neighbor's
backing the boat trailer in.
Oh, yeah.
So, there you have it.
Yeah.
Well, this is the thing.
We need skeptics to look into these questions, but I do recommend Mr. Good's
writing.
He has the authority on it.
It might stimulate you.
Are you one of these guys who has been abducted and examined by those?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That was a fun night.
Believe me.
Hey, you know who was here?
Oh, they touched me.
I throttled those little suckers.
You know who was on the show last night?
Blues Traveler.
Oh, excellent.
John Popper.
Yeah, he is something.
Gave me this harmonica to give to you.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, I'm honored.
Now, is there anything you can do with that for us?
Do you have a little song prepared?
Well, certainly.
John Popper, of course, Blues Traveler, as you saw, he is one of the great
harmonic players
of our time.
Absolutely.
And it's so great that young talent is coming up and playing the blues.
We have a worldwide chain now opening, a house of blues.
We have an outlet in New Orleans and Cambridge.
We're going to New York, L.A.
We're opening a club, and we're very excited about it.
It's keeping blues alive.
And our director of musicology is Dr. Paul Schaefer for the Institute.
Thank you so much.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah, that's right.
Thank you very much.
You have all the money, don't you?
He's the money.
He's the money.
All right.
Well, we'll do this little transition here.
Are you going to use this one, or you got your own?
Well, that's a B. I've got an A for this particular one.
Oh, well, maybe I've got an A. Is this an A over here?
I've got an A here that...
What word does it say?
This just came in by Snowmobile from...
This one says Mattel.
Is that anything?
Yeah, that's...
That was from the military version.
All right.
Knock us out with something.
All right, my friend.
All right.
Stand up for a minute.
Now you've heard the jalapies, heard the noise they make.
Let me introduce my Rocket E.A.
Yes, it's straight, but just can't wait.
Everybody love my Rocket E.A.
When I'm moving through, right out on this side.
LV8 motor, baby, smart and designed.
Black ternurred of old top, and the girl don't mind.
Riding with me, sport and round-tongue.
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
Man, that's very impressive.
You can you can really do that.
You're not just goofing around.
Well, a little help, you know, you got the best in the world
behind you.
They're great.
But he can't really do that.
For a large man, you move really well.
I think I think that's part of the bonus, you know, when a man, you know,
pushing two
in the deuce, you know, it's it's that's what it is.
You and I think Paul, Paul went down to New Orleans for the opening of this
House of Blues.
Right.
Is that when you had the trouble with the law?
Was there an encounter where you were pulled?
Well, yeah, this is going to be a great story.
I just love telling it because I hope the officers who stop me are watching
because it's
kind of fun.
Why don't we travel with a motorcade of motorcycles and we have a so why is
that?
Well, we were just riding around in Louisiana after we'd opened the club and
having a little
fun, you know, and I was riding through the rain and it was, you know, a
transport truck
passed me and it was like just sheets of water.
And I thought, well, I could push on and be a little more macho and ride
through the night.
But no, I want to live another.
So I pulled over.
We were parking our bikes, putting them up on this trailer we carry in case
weather gets
bad.
And we're kind of, you know, Harleys are wonderful, but they love riding in
pickup trucks.
You know, it's like that American thing.
I don't know.
It's just to help your Harley along.
So we were loading the Harleys and I'm sitting in my truck just about to pull
out.
And I look and this police car comes Whitman in like this and two guys get out.
And this is in Point Coupe, Louisiana.
And these guys are obviously dads, you know, in uniform though.
And one of them had a parasol, you know, and he gets out.
Okay.
What's going on?
What's happening here?
Yeah.
Who's beer dad?
Who's beer dad?
And there was this orphan six pack that no one wanted to have anything to do
with all
of a sudden.
Probably just came with a truck.
Yeah.
Who's beer dad?
Dad, you beer?
My friend X-Ray says, no, sir, I was drinking Coca-Cola.
And the officer goes, where'd the can?
Where'd the can?
And he says, I threw it away in front of you, sir.
Well, people tell lies.
People tell lies.
People do tell lies.
I do let them get the story.
I guess this is nobody's beer, huh?
Nobody's beer.
Okay.
Mind if I pour this beer out?
Anybody mind?
He was looking around and of course, oh, no, we don't mind at all.
Okay.
And he looks around.
We're standing in front of a post office.
He goes, okay, y'all on federal property.
Let's roll them out.
Roll them out.
And then he gets in his car and before he goes, he goes, be careful, y'all.
Take care now.
Well, that's very nice.
It was beautiful.
Just beautiful.
And the other guy we have to mention tonight is an officer with the Lafayette
Motorcycle
Corps.
His name is Dale Patton.
He stopped us.
And he couldn't have been more courteous.
Uh-huh.
He is a king among officers, I must say.
But the story around Lafayette is that he is so conscientious that he actually
gave his wife a ticket.
I would just like to tell my own little story.
I've been stopped many, many times by the men and women who enforce the rules
and laws of our highways.
And never once have they been anything but completely polite, courteous and
gentlemen.
Yes, that's true.
I have just a warm, warm feeling for everyone out there patrolling our highways
tonight.
So do I.
So you're traveling around the country with several bikes and a guy named X-Ray.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
And you find it odd that you're stopped by the police.
I wondered.
I wondered.
No, I love him.
I love my encounters with the police.
My grandfather was a Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman.
Well, there you go.
One of my best friends is an ex-Metro Policeman from Toronto who accompanies me
as security detail.
How do you behave yourself?
I've got two guys with me tonight from the NYPD, hardworking officers, and I
really do respect them and I love them dearly.
I would really like to know more about your day-to-day life.
Blues, Harley and Cops.
This impression I'm getting is very peculiar.
It's the Blues, it's Harleys, it's Cops, and somewhere in there there's a
beautiful wife named Donna and two spectacular children, Danielle and Belle.
Good for you.
Speaking of children, let's mention the movie, My Girl 2.
Absolutely.
Which opens Friday.
Did I have that right?
Yes, that's right.
Now, this was a film that was extremely popular, the first one.
That was My Girl 1.
My Girl 1.
The powers that be decided that another one should be made and I think the
reason I'm here tonight is really to support the career of an up-and-coming
star, Anna Klumsky.
I must say she is a terrific actress.
She's here.
Can she come out?
Ladies and gentlemen, here's Dan's co-star, Anna Klumsky.
Anna.
How are you?
Well, pretty good.
I just wanted to tell you that I'm so excited that you're playing, you know,
Beatles songs because, you know, I'm just such a Beatles fan that's not even
funny and it's just, and, um...
Anna, have you ever been hassled by the cops?
Have you ever seen a UFO?
Um, no, actually.
Um, no, I've thought about it though before.
Is Dan fun to work with?
Does he take care of it?
Does he look after you?
Actually, you know, he's pretty mean to me.
No.
He's, yeah, he, you know, always, he would never talk to me on set, you know.
He's just, you know, you know, of course I'm kidding.
Remember I stuck pins in you once.
Now, kids, let's not get carried away.
Are you happy with the second film?
Um, yes, I am.
It's not really nice.
Is it better than the first one?
Um, I wouldn't say that.
I like both films really a lot.
Is it going to be a blockbuster?
We'll see.
Yeah, I hope so.
Nice to meet you, Anna.
Thank you very much for coming.
Thank you very much for coming.
I know you and Dan have to get on your bikes and blow out of here.
Yeah, right.
Let's get arrested.
Dan, a pleasure to have you here.
Dan Aykroyd, ladies and gentlemen.
Anna Kempsey.

Dan Aykroyd Jams With The Band | Letterman

Let's bring out our first guest. Here's a funny man. Here's a very talented guy.
He's never been, was not on this show, was not on the old show. We're very
excited that he's making his debut with us here this evening. From Blues
Brother to Ghostbuster to Conehead, our first guest has had some of the great
comic roles on film. His latest movie is My Girl 2 and it opens on Friday. It's
his first time here, so folks, please make him feel welcome. Dan Aykroyd.
Dan, nice to see you. How are you? Pretty good. It's a pleasure to have you
here. Yeah, thanks a lot. Of course, we did do Carson once. That's right, back
in like 86 or something, 87. You, me, Chevy Chase and Johnny were there. That's
correct, that's correct. You ever talk to John at all? I hear from him
occasionally. Yeah, the drummer. He's a drummer now. He spends a lot of time
working in the yard. Yeah.
It's okay. We're all headed that way. Some of us anyway. You know, I've always,
for years and years, I've admired your work. I think you're one of the few
people that really gets it right when they do it.
Well, thank you very much.
And I mentioned that you were supposed to be on the old show, but you weren't.
Yeah. And this is your first time here. Is there a reason? Have you been
avoiding us? Was there a problem?
Uh, well, uh, there was, uh, a ferry accident, uh, and a lot of cars went in
and the sound in Martha's Vineyard where I lived and I had to help the Navy
divers rescue some of, no, I, what happened that day was I slept in David.
Uh huh. I actually slept in. I was supposed to do the show. I was on Martha's
Vineyard. I set the alarm and it sort of, you know, went off too late and I
woke up and realized I have to be in New York in an hour.
Right. What, Dan. From a fog bound island. Dan, what time did you wake up?
Well, I was, I was up at, you know, I'd set it for like noon and then I woke up
at two and it was one of those. But, you know, the last time.
So you're just sleeping in is what you say. Yeah, I slept in and I felt like,
you know, that it was kind of like coming to the teacher with a bad excuse.
Well, Bill Murray, as you remember, came on the show and did make up for it
because, in fact, he came on in the old Peacock days and he drew blood from you.
Oh, that's right. We all became blood brothers.
Well, you know, he asked me for a liver enzyme sample from you.
So, uh, he said that, you know, that he's got the, now I've got the Monoject 1
or the Monoject 2 here.
These are horse tranquilizer. Now, I don't know if you want to administer
yourself here.
You don't need to do this because I keep a supply of that at the icebox
backstage.
Okay, well, why don't we just, uh, why don't we just, uh, are we ready?
Toss him in the Hudson. Sure, that's right.
Okay, fine. Bill, we'll be, uh...
What else do you have in there?
No, no enzyme sample.
What do you have in this bag? It looks like you're going to or coming from
class.
It's, uh, it's kind of, well, I've got a few harps. I've got some old Vaseline
here.
All right, I'm sorry I asked.
I've got, I have, I brought you a book.
Now, I know that, uh, you are one of the, one of the great skeptics of our time.
Thank you very much.
And, uh, I brought you the definitive UFO Bible.
Uh, this is by a gentleman, Timothy Goode.
Thank you very much.
It is, uh, the compendium of all that we know about UFO research.
The worldwide UFO cover-up.
That's right.
All right, I'll leaf through this, uh, tonight.
Yeah.
And, uh, uh, if you're in for, if, uh, if, uh, oh, oh.
Oh, that's a joke.
It might levitate.
Yeah.
But now, have you ever seen, uh, an unidentified flying object?
I, yeah.
Yeah.
Paul Schaefer the other night at House of Blues.
And now, wait a minute.
Hey!
That's a joke.
That band joke.
Um, I saw something once in Massachusetts, uh, that, uh, that three of us saw.
We saw two objects tracking across the sky at 100,000 feet, doing maneuvers
that, you know,
F-18s wish they could do.
So, now, if you actually believe that they exist, and I'm not saying that they
don't, but how
come everybody hasn't seen them?
Well, a lot of people have.
I think if you look in the book, you'll see that there are a lot of photographs
in there,
a lot of military people, a lot of pilots, a lot of people that are quite
credible.
A lot of cops.
Like how many?
A million?
Have a million people seen UFOs?
Uh, it's, it, there's, there's like 80,000 really credible sightings that have
been reported.
You call me when you get to a million.
Okay.
All right.
Actually.
Last winter, it was just bone cold.
It was like in, about this time last winter.
Bone cold.
I know that feeling.
Yeah.
And I thought I saw something.
I looked out, and it caught my attention, and I looked across the way, and it
was strange
lights, very low to the ground, and then later I found out it was the neighbor's
backing the boat trailer in.
Oh, yeah.
So, there you have it.
Yeah.
Well, this is the thing.
We need skeptics to look into these questions, but I do recommend Mr. Good's
writing.
He has the authority on it.
It might stimulate you.
Are you one of these guys who has been abducted and examined by those?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That was a fun night.
Believe me.
Hey, you know who was here?
Oh, they touched me.
I throttled those little suckers.
You know who was on the show last night?
Blues Traveler.
Oh, excellent.
John Popper.
Yeah, he is something.
Gave me this harmonica to give to you.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, I'm honored.
Now, is there anything you can do with that for us?
Do you have a little song prepared?
Well, certainly.
John Popper, of course, Blues Traveler, as you saw, he is one of the great
harmonic players
of our time.
Absolutely.
And it's so great that young talent is coming up and playing the blues.
We have a worldwide chain now opening, a house of blues.
We have an outlet in New Orleans and Cambridge.
We're going to New York, L.A.
We're opening a club, and we're very excited about it.
It's keeping blues alive.
And our director of musicology is Dr. Paul Schaefer for the Institute.
Thank you so much.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah, that's right.
Thank you very much.
You have all the money, don't you?
He's the money.
He's the money.
All right.
Well, we'll do this little transition here.
Are you going to use this one, or you got your own?
Well, that's a B. I've got an A for this particular one.
Oh, well, maybe I've got an A. Is this an A over here?
I've got an A here that...
What word does it say?
This just came in by Snowmobile from...
This one says Mattel.
Is that anything?
Yeah, that's...
That was from the military version.
All right.
Knock us out with something.
All right, my friend.
All right.
Stand up for a minute.
Now you've heard the jalapies, heard the noise they make.
Let me introduce my Rocket E.A.
Yes, it's straight, but just can't wait.
Everybody love my Rocket E.A.
When I'm moving through, right out on this side.
LV8 motor, baby, smart and designed.
Black ternurred of old top, and the girl don't mind.
Riding with me, sport and round-tongue.
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
I'm going to be a little bit.
Man, that's very impressive.
You can you can really do that.
You're not just goofing around.
Well, a little help, you know, you got the best in the world
behind you.
They're great.
But he can't really do that.
For a large man, you move really well.
I think I think that's part of the bonus, you know, when a man, you know,
pushing two
in the deuce, you know, it's it's that's what it is.
You and I think Paul, Paul went down to New Orleans for the opening of this
House of Blues.
Right.
Is that when you had the trouble with the law?
Was there an encounter where you were pulled?
Well, yeah, this is going to be a great story.
I just love telling it because I hope the officers who stop me are watching
because it's
kind of fun.
Why don't we travel with a motorcade of motorcycles and we have a so why is
that?
Well, we were just riding around in Louisiana after we'd opened the club and
having a little
fun, you know, and I was riding through the rain and it was, you know, a
transport truck
passed me and it was like just sheets of water.
And I thought, well, I could push on and be a little more macho and ride
through the night.
But no, I want to live another.
So I pulled over.
We were parking our bikes, putting them up on this trailer we carry in case
weather gets
bad.
And we're kind of, you know, Harleys are wonderful, but they love riding in
pickup trucks.
You know, it's like that American thing.
I don't know.
It's just to help your Harley along.
So we were loading the Harleys and I'm sitting in my truck just about to pull
out.
And I look and this police car comes Whitman in like this and two guys get out.
And this is in Point Coupe, Louisiana.
And these guys are obviously dads, you know, in uniform though.
And one of them had a parasol, you know, and he gets out.
Okay.
What's going on?
What's happening here?
Yeah.
Who's beer dad?
Who's beer dad?
And there was this orphan six pack that no one wanted to have anything to do
with all
of a sudden.
Probably just came with a truck.
Yeah.
Who's beer dad?
Dad, you beer?
My friend X-Ray says, no, sir, I was drinking Coca-Cola.
And the officer goes, where'd the can?
Where'd the can?
And he says, I threw it away in front of you, sir.
Well, people tell lies.
People tell lies.
People do tell lies.
I do let them get the story.
I guess this is nobody's beer, huh?
Nobody's beer.
Okay.
Mind if I pour this beer out?
Anybody mind?
He was looking around and of course, oh, no, we don't mind at all.
Okay.
And he looks around.
We're standing in front of a post office.
He goes, okay, y'all on federal property.
Let's roll them out.
Roll them out.
And then he gets in his car and before he goes, he goes, be careful, y'all.
Take care now.
Well, that's very nice.
It was beautiful.
Just beautiful.
And the other guy we have to mention tonight is an officer with the Lafayette
Motorcycle
Corps.
His name is Dale Patton.
He stopped us.
And he couldn't have been more courteous.
Uh-huh.
He is a king among officers, I must say.
But the story around Lafayette is that he is so conscientious that he actually
gave his wife a ticket.
I would just like to tell my own little story.
I've been stopped many, many times by the men and women who enforce the rules
and laws of our highways.
And never once have they been anything but completely polite, courteous and
gentlemen.
Yes, that's true.
I have just a warm, warm feeling for everyone out there patrolling our highways
tonight.
So do I.
So you're traveling around the country with several bikes and a guy named X-Ray.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
And you find it odd that you're stopped by the police.
I wondered.
I wondered.
No, I love him.
I love my encounters with the police.
My grandfather was a Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman.
Well, there you go.
One of my best friends is an ex-Metro Policeman from Toronto who accompanies me
as security detail.
How do you behave yourself?
I've got two guys with me tonight from the NYPD, hardworking officers, and I
really do respect them and I love them dearly.
I would really like to know more about your day-to-day life.
Blues, Harley and Cops.
This impression I'm getting is very peculiar.
It's the Blues, it's Harleys, it's Cops, and somewhere in there there's a
beautiful wife named Donna and two spectacular children, Danielle and Belle.
Good for you.
Speaking of children, let's mention the movi