Name: Viewer Mail: Dave's Traumatic Bow Tie Incident | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-03-21T15:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Dave's Traumatic Bow Tie Incident | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Dave's Traumatic Bow Tie Incident | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-21. Transcript available.

Oh, it's viewer mail night. This is the night we answer our viewer mail.
You know, people say to me, they say, Dave, is that actual viewer mail?
And I say to him, if it weren't actual viewer mail, would I be able to do this?
And what is the answer to that?
All right, never mind.
No, the answer is this is, of course, actual viewer mail from actual viewers.
You don't see them answering viewer mail on the CBS late movie, do you?
Which, by the way, if you tune in the late movie right now, I think you'll find
out that the CBS late movie tonight is college basketball.
A couple of nights ago, it was Columbo. Oh, that's a good show.
And not too old, is it? Anything under two decades, they'll put it on.
I like to watch them over and over and memorize the parts, do them with my
friends.
Letter number one, dear Dave, I've heard that you're the man who's afraid of
ink.
Is this true? Linda Crow, St. Petersburg, Florida.
Ah, Linda, no, no. I'm not the man who's afraid of ink.
I'm the man who's afraid of link.
That's the problem.
I was afraid of link.
She's got it all the time.
She's Clarence Williams III.
Afraid of link.
Yeah, afraid of link.
I think this is on the CBS late movie.
They haven't shown an actual movie on the CBS late movie since who knows when.
Letter number two.
Dear Dave, just thought I'd drop you a line and let you know how now that the
new year has begun,
I have discovered a handy little trick to save money for you and your thrifty
viewers.
Dig out all your 1974 calendars and reuse them.
They'll still work for the year 1985.
I know it's hard to believe, but it's true.
With best wishes for this fiscal year, Pete Steeves, Northwestern University,
Evanston, Illinois.
Pete, this is an excellent suggestion.
You know, I actually did give it a try, but we had some unfortunate results.
Just watch this videotape, and I think you'll see what happened.
Hey, you're in a pretty good mood this morning.
Oh, yeah, I am.
I checked my calendar, and today's the day I get my GTO picked up at the shop.
They fixed the 8-track tape deck, and tonight, Nelson Rockefeller and I are
going to the garden to see Elvis.
The hell was that?
All right, letter number three here.
Dear Dave, whenever you do a segment of Stupid Pet Tricks, you always pet the
dog and go on to ask how it's doing.
Dave, do you honestly believe the beast is going to answer you?
Sincerely, Brian James Bancroft, Mission VAO, California.
Well, Brian, your letter is certainly an interesting one, and about all I can
say in response is, well, sometimes...
How's it going, Dave?
Good to be here.
How's it going, Dave?
What do you say, man?
Oh, hi.
Hi, guys.
Nice to see you.
Nice to see you, Dave.
Good.
How are you doing?
Oh, fine.
Oh, fine.
Oh, okay.
This door right here.
See you, Dave.
We've got to run.
Let's do it.
Let me take it.
Come on.
Come on, boy.
Come on.
How are you, Dave?
All right.
Nice to see you.
Adios.
So long.
Okay, you too, Joe.
Come on.
Joe.
Joe.
Come here.
Come here, Joe.
Come on.
Come here.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Get up.
Hey, nice to see you, Dave.
Good, Joe.
Oh, that feels good.
I'm just going to stay here a while, Dave.
Yeah, no, no.
Joe, we're doing viewer mail, and I'm going to have to ask you not to interrupt.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Would you like a little water?
Um, no.
Okay.
You're not getting enough sleep, huh?
You know how it is.
Yeah.
What letter are you up to, Dave?
We're up to letter number four.
Letter number four.
All right.
Okay.
No, no, wait a minute.
Come here, Joe.
I've got to go, Dave.
I've got to go.
See you later.
Joe, come here.
Come on.
Come on back up here.
No, no.
You don't need me, Dave.
Okay.
Letter number four.
Oh, all right.
Come on.
Come on.
Come here.
Come on, buddy.
Come on.
Right here?
Yeah, right there.
Okay.
Okay.
Letter number four.
You won't even know I'm here.
Dear Mr. Letterman.
No, no.
This comes to a dear Letterman show.
I've never written a letter to a TV show before, but then I've never heard of
anything as abominably
tasteless as Mr. Letterman's remark about Chernyenko not being able to
celebrate another birthday.
Does Mr. Letterman think his audience consists of people so jaded by jingoism
and the us versus them mentality that they'll find him amusing if he makes fun
of some Russian guy who happens to be dying?
Sincerely, Tim Walker, Graduate Assistant, NYU, Interactive Telecommunications
Program.
Well, by the way, this is the first letter we've ever had using the word jingoism
in it.
I'll tell you what, Tim.
It's true.
Sometimes I do poke fun at the Soviet Union in my opening remarks, but, you
know, you certainly raise a really interesting point.
You know, it's a very interesting point, speaking of jingoism and so forth.
In fact, I know some people who just might find your letter downright
fascinating, if you know what I mean.
So we're going to send it off to those folks and take a look.
Yeah.
Thank you very much.
Good luck.
That's a good one.
The guy who wrote that one deserves a raise.
You're pushing your luck, Joe.
All right, now we're down to letter number five.
Dear Dave, why don't you ever wear a bow tie?
Curiously, Jeff Wayne.
Well, this is interesting.
From time to time, people write in and they have questions about the show and
wardrobe and so forth.
And I'll tell you about the bow tie.
You know, that's really something I'd really rather not talk about.
It was such a long time ago.
Oh, brother, take a look at the view of that lake.
I'm telling you, nothing beats hiking.
Oh, you bet, buddy.
There's nothing like hiking with your best friend.
Hey, look what I found.
Whoa!
Oh, jeez!
Go!
I slipped!
Oh, no.
Give me something!
I need something!
Help!
I'm going to fall!
We didn't bring any rope.
I'll tell you what, here.
Quick, try it over to my bow tie.
Hey, I think it's too short, Dave.
Well, first, you've got to take a look at it.
It's too short.
Too short?
Oh, nice bow tie, Dave!
Artie, I think there's somebody messing around our camper.
Ooh, my.
Well, yes, sir.
That wraps up another viewer mail segment.
Let me do the lucky number, Joe, and then we'll get right on with the show.
Turn on the machine.
Here we go.
Tonight's first lucky number is a four.
Our second lucky number is a seven.
And the third lucky number is a six.
Tonight's lucky number, four, seven, six.
Okay, we have a wonderful program tonight.
Jay Leno will be here.
Andrea Martin and Window Washer Psychic.