Name: Stupid Pet Tricks: Horse That Dances The Electric Slide | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-03-25T15:00:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stupid Pet Tricks: Horse That Dances The Electric Slide | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stupid Pet Tricks: Horse That Dances The Electric Slide | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-25. Transcript available.

Welcome back to The Late Show, ladies and gentlemen. It's time now for one of
our favorite segments of all time, a little something we call Stupid Pet Tricks.
People from all over North America with their little animals, their little dogs,
their little squirrels, their little cotamundis, their little tree monkeys,
their little canaries, whatever they have.
Little interesting quirky tricks that they have taught their pets to do and
perform for you.
And let me caution you, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition.
Please, as always, no wagering.
And tonight, I'd like to dedicate this installment of Stupid Pet Tricks to Miss
Elizabeth Taylor.
We love you, Liz. We love you. Hope to see you here on the 21st. Is it 21st? 19th?
I just come that week and we'll pay for it.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor. Please welcome our first
participants for Stupid Pet Tricks, Lester Stevens, Mary Allender, Karen Wheeler,
and Jane Klutzky.
Come on in, folks.
Wow, look at this.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
How are you? How are you? How do you do? Welcome to the program. Where are you
folks from? This is Indianapolis. Is that what it is? It's my hometown. You
know, I'm from Indianapolis.
Do me a favor. Drive by Mom's place and just take a look, all right? Keep an
eye on things out there because, you know, she's getting a little loopy.
And you, sir, are Lester, I assume, and this is the horse Lightning?
Lightning, yes.
Woo, hi, Lightning.
Man, is he, wow, is he all right?
Oh, he's just fine.
All right. And what are you folks and Lightning going to do here this evening?
We're going to do the electric slide.
Going to do the electric slide.
Are you Mary? You're Mary. And you're Karen. And then you're Jane. All right,
they're going to do the electric slide. What can I do for you folks?
Anything you want.
All right, I'll just stand over here by my friend Paul. Here we go. You need
music, obviously, for this?
Five, six, seven, eight.
Wow. Thank you. Thank you for coming.
Thank you very much. Good to see you. Thank you. Thank you, Lester.
Thank you, Lightning.
Good. Good boy. Nice job.
Let's take a look at it in slow motion, instant replay. All the way from Indianapolis,
a dancing horse. Man, look at that.
Thanks again, folks. Bye-bye.
From my hometown, Indianapolis, Indiana. That's cute.
They're teaching the horse to dance. Meanwhile, every liquor store in the
county is being held up.
But they got him a dancing horse.
Oh, well, I can't go home again. All right.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, our next guest here for Stupid Petricks, Sherry
Lipman. Sherry, come on out and say hello to the folks. Hi, Sherry. How do you
do? Welcome to the program. Hi, buddy. Sherry, where are you from?
Richmond, Virginia.
Richmond, Virginia. And what brings you to New York City? Just came for the Petricks?
Just came for the Petricks. Oh, good. Well, you'll stay for the chili.
We definitely will.
And these are your doggies, Elsa and Gabriel. Gabriel? Elsa?
Gabriel.
This is who? This is Gabriel.
Hello, Gabe. Hello, Gabe. Hello, buddy.
Oh, give me a pic, give me a pic, give me a pic, oh, look, oh, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look.
Well, yeah, you got a Cloretz or a Tic Tac or something.
Whoo, man, liver.
He's a kisser.
Uh, okay, what are you guys going to do for us tonight?
They have a pet trick where she sits in front, he sits behind her, and she
flips a biscuit back to him off her nose.
Oh, I've done that?
All right, here you go.
And the music or anything?
Can I hold the leash?
Can I do anything for you, Sherry?
Nope, got it.
Man, I need a moist towelette now.
You need a big towel now.
Yep.
Elsa, Gabriel, flipping a biscuit and something else.
We'll just see.
Here we go.
Hey, hey, hey, we had a dancing horse out here.
Did you guys see the dancing horse?
Yeah, okay.
All right, the dogs are lined up.
They're in position.
That's it.
There's Elsa.
There's Gabe.
Gabriel.
All right, here we go.
The biscuit's in place.
There it is.
On the snout.
Here we go.
Wait.
Toss it.
You got screwed.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Gabe.
Gabe is thinking, how come I'm not in the front of this line?
Don't pull that again, all right?
We're leaving you with David if you do.
Okay, here we go.
Try it one more time.
Try it one more time.
Yeah!
Very nice.
Here it is.
The instant replay.
Beautiful.
Excellent.
Double play.
Thank you, Sherry.
Thank you very much.
Goodbye, Elsa.
Goodbye, Gabriel.
Bye-bye.
There you go.
And it's tough when you're second in line for them dog biscuits, ain't it?
Ladies and gentlemen, our, I believe, our final participant tonight for the old
stupid
Petricks, Arnold Funk.
Arnold, where are you?
Come on out.
Hi, Arnold.
Nice to meet you, Arnold.
How do you do, sir?
Welcome to the program, sir.
Where are you from?
North Dakota?
Are you from North Dakota?
Mobile's North Dakota.
Bow Bells, North Dakota.
And where is Bow Bells?
It's about 13 miles south of the Canadian border.
Oh, man, sir, you're really way up there in the high prairie, huh?
Way up there, right.
And have you lived in North Dakota all your life?
Right.
And have you ever been to South Dakota?
Oh, yes.
And essentially, there's no difference, right?
Very little.
Pretty much the same.
They ought to make just one big state, Dakota.
Right.
What do you have here?
Hi, buddy.
What is this dog?
He's Duke.
He's Duke?
And what kind of animal is Duke-y?
What kind of dog?
He's a Border Collie Australian Shepherd Cross, and he's our cattle dog.
They're at the ranch.
Now, I know a little something about these dogs.
These...
I'm sorry I'm engaged to that other dog.
You're making out earlier.
These dogs love to work, and apparently a little...
Well, there's some recreation.
It's not all work for these dogs.
But they're...
That's what they're bred for.
They like to work, and they just work 24 hours a day for you, weren't they?
Yeah, that was shown.
Okay.
And you're going to do...
You've got some tires, and the dog's going to, like, what, balance a set of
tires and put
them on the car?
I have his toy right here.
I've got his toy.
That's his squeaky toy.
And I will throw that into that stack of tires.
All right.
Take him back, and he takes a run, mounts the tires, goes down head first.
Stop it.
He, too.
Stop it.
I'm begging you.
Please.
Long, long winters in North Dakota.
Now, can I do anything for you?
Do you just want me to stand here quietly, or...?
That's probably a good idea.
Well, anyhow, if he...
When he picks the toy up, he's too big to turn around inside there, so he has
to come
out backwards.
Oh, he comes out backwards?
Yep.
Okay.
All right, fine.
Are we ready?
I'm ready if you are, sure.
I'm standing here quietly, as per your instructions.
Okay.
Here we go.
Here's Duke.
Come here, come here.
Here's Duke with his little toy.
Get fired up now.
Get fired up.
Wow, look at that.
Man, that's a good-looking animal, isn't it?
Whoa.
Where'd they go, Duke?
Come on, Duke.
Come on back.
He's stunned.
He doesn't...
All right, over here.
Come on here now.
Get yourself together.
Yeah, settle down for a...
Okay, come on, Duke.
Come on, buddy.
Come on, Duke.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Here we go.
All right, okay.
Duke, come here.
Okay.
Come here.
All right.
It's his third and final try at this height.
Come on, Duke.
The Russian has passed.
Yes.
Get in there, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here, Duke.
Come here.
Come here, Duke.
Come here.
Come on, buddy.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Very close.
Very close.
Let's try it once more.
Here we go.
Get it.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
Come here, Duke.
He's thinking about it.
And I'd like to have a picture of that for my Christmas card next year.
It's Duke and a set of tires.
There.
He's going down in there now?
Yeah, I'm going down in there now.
Is he all right?
Yes.
Like a really, really bad magic act, isn't it?
All right.
Okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Go on down there, buddy.
Go on down there.
Yes, sir.
He's all right.
Duke, call me after the show.
Look at this.
It's the only thing on CBS right now.
Yes!
Come on, Duke.
Get...
Yeah!
Nice going.
Atta boy.
Thank you, Duke.
Thank you, Duke.
Atta boy.
The crowd goes crazy.
He's so important.
He comes out with his ass in your face.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Thank you very much.
Have a good trip back to North Dakota.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you, Duke.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you, Duke.
Thank you, Duke.
Atta boy.
The crowd goes crazy.
He's so important.
He comes out with his ass in your face.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Thank you very much.
Have a good trip back to North Dakota.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
That's it.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
That's it.