Name: Viewer Mail: Dave's Million Dollar Dream | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-04-04T15:00:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Dave's Million Dollar Dream | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Dave's Million Dollar Dream | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-04. Transcript available.

- David, you know, I forgot to tell you,
I forgot to tell you that two nights ago
I went to Lombada night at Cafe Society Club downtown.
- Yeah, how was it?
- I went to observe it, it was great.
I walked in, there was a receptionist there,
a gorgeous maitre d' and she said,
"Five dollars, cover charge for the dance floor."
- Yeah?
- So I said, "Well, I'm not gonna dance,
"I just wanna have a drink."
She said, "You're not gonna dance?"
I said, "No, just a drink."
She says, "Fine."
She says, "Just don't sneak out on the dance floor now,
"that wouldn't be nice."
- Yeah.
- And I said, you know, if I, an old man my age,
if I only had the strength to sneak out on the dance floor,
- The sneak out on Lombada.
But Paul, tell us, what did you learn
of the forbidden dance of love?
- Well, you know what?
There was nobody doing the dance.
They were doing the Marenga,
and they were doing the Bossa Nova,
and I said to the bartender,
"Why is no one doing the forbidden dance?"
He says, "It's forbidden."
- Now, wait a minute, you can identify those two dances,
the Bossa Nova and the Marengue?
- Well, I can identify them musically.
- You can spot them and identify?
- I heard the music playing
and I figured they must be doing those.
No, I can't identify the dance.
- The forbidden dance of love.
- Yeah.
- I don't think anybody's doing it.
I just think it's for goofballs, don't you?
- Forbidden for goofballs.
- Forbidden dance of love for goofballs.
- Perfect.
- Here's our top ten list.
We've got a big show.
We've got to get right to it.
- Yeah.
- You know, Paul, I'm sitting here as you're telling your little Lombata story
and I'm thinking
that Brent Musburger is on the program tonight and there's a message in that
situation for
all of us.
Any one of us could get fired.
- Boy, do I ever know that to be true?
- Yeah.
- Are you trying to tell me something?
- No, no, no.
Instead of actually paying attention to your Lombata story, that's what I was
thinking.
- I'm sorry, no, no.
- Well, I don't blame you.
I don't blame you.
You didn't miss much.
Just, you know, it's forbidden.
- The category tonight.
Top ten things overheard at the opening of Trump's Taj Mahal.
That big billion dollar casino down there in Atlantic City was opened last
night.
- Were you invited to this, Paul?
- Pardon?
- Were you invited to the opening?
- No, that must have gotten lost to him now.
- Top ten things overheard at the big opening last night.
Number ten, kindly take this gentleman's bags to room 1710, Merv.
Number nine, would you please sign this prenuptial agreement?
Number eight, I wonder if we'll catch a glimpse of the reclusive Mr. Trump.
Number seven, of course your credit's good here, Mr. Rose.
Number six, security, security.
Ivana is on level five.
Number five, merciful mother of God with a single turn of the wheel, my life
savings gone.
Number four, which way to the Trump toilet?
Number three, I'm afraid we don't have a Yahtzee table, Mr. Quayle.
Number two, Yahtzee, Yahtzee, the forbidden dance of love.
Number two, wow, I didn't know Dave Letterman could sing and the number one
thing overheard
at the opening of Trump's Taj Mahal.
I'm in Taj Mahal.
There he is.
Okay, we got a huge show.
We have to get right to it.
Let's do our viewer mail.
Friday is the night we answer our viewer mail.
And as always on Fridays, the presentation of tonight's viewer mail is being
assisted by the
Puma 206 Access robotic arm.
Here it is.
Take it away, Anton.
Get ready for real television fun, ladies and gentlemen, all the way from
Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania, from the laboratories at Westinghouse.
It cost us $6,200, soon to be assisting in the delivery of the viewer mail.
There it is, the robotic arm.
It ain't over quite yet.
All right.
Letter number one.
Thank you, Willard.
Dear Dave, what do you do to get yourself prepared for a show?
Just curious.
Chris J. Reader, Charlottesville, Virginia.
I don't know, Chris.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I've never been prepared for a show.
I don't know how I like my canned corn.
Letter number three.
Yeah, I do.
I do know that.
By the way, those clowns were from the circus.
Nice plug.
That's nice of you to plug.
They're from the...
Clowns are from Clown Alley at the Ringling Brothers' Barnum & Bailey Circus,
which is in town at Madison Square Garden through April 29th.
Seems to me like clowns from the circus ought to be enough.
It's unlikely that there would be more than one circus in town at any given
point.
I suppose that's true.
I suppose that's true.
Dear Dave, by now any fool knows that there is no real glass behind your desk.
The sound of breaking glass by way of pencils and note cards was cute but old,
so just bag it, okay?
Cam Cheng at Cherry Hill, New Jersey.
Well, Cam Cheng, I'm sorry you don't like the breaking glass sound anymore.
I tell you what we'll do, though, just for you.
We're going to try something new.
We'll have the machine here throw a pencil through the window
and we'll try a new sound effect back there instead of the breaking glass for
Cam Cheng.
Cam Cheng!
Cam Cheng!
Cam Cheng!
Cam Cheng!
can i get you some primatine mist oh here we go what are we doing no we're not
done yet are we no
we're not done which one here we go letter letter number four ladies and
gentlemen
and this robotic arm makes things so much easier uh hey dave uh you see that
guy in the center
section of the audience oh about four or five rows up three or four seats from
the right no not
you're right the audience is right no next to him the guy in the pinstripe suit
yeah yeah right him
isn't that no i guess not never mind sorry uh sincerely kevin gallagher brooklyn
new york hal
i'll tell you what maybe this guy knows something let's try and follow these
instructions uh so it's
in the audience center section four or five rows up three or four seats from
the right
no not you're right the audience is right no next to him the guy in the pinstripe
suit no isn't that
yeah right there isn't that
no i guess not i guess not i guess that's not him all right sure looks like him
though too bad all right
all right well there's your uh doing mail for another night we got a wonderful
program here for you