Name: Fan Request: Johnny Carson Lets Dave "Stump The Band" | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-04-12T15:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: Johnny Carson Lets Dave "Stump The Band" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: Johnny Carson Lets Dave "Stump The Band" | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-12. Transcript available.

It gratifies me a great deal that you people are in such a nice mood here
tonight because
I have something I would like to get off my chest. It's a little embarrassing.
It's kind
of a confession. Let me just give you a little history of the operation here.
We've been on
CBS now. We're finishing up tomorrow night. It will be the end of our 11th week.
And things so
far, we've been very lucky, have gone pretty well for us. If you've been
watching the show last
week, we did something called Regis Roulette. And we had, all it was really was
an excuse to get
the very popular television host Regis Philbin out here running through the
audience kissing
people. Well, that was the official indication that we had run out of ideas.
That happened
about a week ago. But then, you know, one thing came to another and we coasted.
So here we
are now. We're like a week later. And I'm here to tell you, tonight is really
the night. We
have nothing. If I told you we were on fumes, that would be an exaggeration.
I'll give you an idea how little we have for you tonight. Paul, play that Hooray
for Hollywood
again. Hey, wait, maybe we got something there. And on a night when we have
nothing for
you, that's when I'll pretend like I made dance. That's how low we have sunk
here. So I got to
thinking to myself, what the hell can we do for tonight's big show? And it came
to me. We're
at this point. I know exactly what we can do. We need to get permission. And I'm
going to do
that right now with the help of this gentleman on the phone right here. On the
telephone, live,
waiting there, blinking right there, from his home in Los Angeles, California,
former host
of the Tonight Show, Johnny Carson.
Hello. Hello, Johnny.
Hello.
How are you?
Hello, Dave.
It's me, Dave.
Still there, huh?
Yeah. Hey, Johnny, did you hear? I switched networks.
That's what I heard.
Yeah, yeah.
A couple weeks ago, huh?
Yeah? And, Johnny, I don't want you to think I'm calling you because we're out
of ideas.
Uh-huh.
How are things going there in California?
Pretty good. The mudslides are putting out the fire.
Well, look, he's still got it.
3,000 miles away, he's still doing a monologue.
Oh, my God, I'm back in show business.
Johnny, the reason I'm calling here, what we would like to do, the audience was
interested
in this. They want to see Stump the Band. It wasn't my idea.
What?
Yeah, Stump the Band.
Wow.
Just relax.
This is a strange coincidence.
Yeah?
You're the second person in the last six weeks that asked me to use that.
Is that right?
Yeah, Chevy Chase called.
That's unbelievable.
Carson does, he does the jokes, all I can do is this.
Now I feel guilty because he's a good friend of mine and I said he couldn't use
it, probably
would have saved his ass.
Well, Johnny, I'm not calling exactly because my ass needs saving.
But, you know, it would mean a great deal to me and also to the kids on the
staff.
Uh-huh.
So, what you're asking is you want to use, what, Stump the Band, huh?
Yeah, Stump the Band.
Uh-huh.
And with your blessing, if you don't mind.
Yeah, I can't claim that as any intellectual property at all.
Mate, could we agree on some kind of fee and then you can go ahead and use it?
Well, you're not talking about, like, ex-wife fees, are you?
No, no, no.
I thought maybe you could take over my alimony payment.
All right, well, maybe we could hammer this out a little later.
No, you can use it with my blessing.
Oh, God bless you, Johnny.
Thank you very much.
Okay, Dave.
Johnny Carson, ladies and gentlemen.
Johnny, we'll get back to you later.
Thank you.
Okay, Dave.
Bye-bye.
Take care.
Do we have time?
Do we have time?
Get ready, Paul.
We're playing Stump the Band.
Oh, I'm very excited.
Here, cover me as I walk into the audience.
Stump the Band.
Oh, man.
Where is she?
Hi, how are you?
Paul, are you ready for Stump the Band?
Hey, cold front.
Out of Alaska.
No, Paul, no.
That's not.
What?
That's not Stump the Band.
Oh, Stump the Band.
I thought he said carna.
I'm sorry.
Turning the proceedings into a mockery.
Hi, are you the first participant in Stump the Band?
Yes, I am.
You may be the first and only tonight.
What is your name?
My name is Greta Marshall.
Greta, nice to meet you.
Where are you from?
I'm from Incline Village, Nevada.
Oh, that's in...
Lake Tahoe.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's beautiful out there.
I know where that is.
Is that like on the North Shore?
North Shore.
Oh, that's gorgeous country.
What are you doing here?
Here for the marathon.
Oh, are you competing in the marathon?
Well, I'm starting.
I don't know if I'm finishing.
Have you run a marathon before?
Yes.
Oh, well, then you should do pretty well.
Well, good luck to you.
What is your time?
I'm overweight and under-trained this time, but...
My best time is four hours.
Yeah, isn't that amazing that people can go out and do anything for four hours,
let alone run?
Yes.
It was fun hearing Johnny Carson, wasn't it?
Wonderful, yes.
Yeah, he's still very funny, and he's funny on the phone, which is even more
difficult.
Oh, and a song.
We're playing Stump the Band.
Yes.
And your song?
Ukulele Lady.
Okay, let me ask the boys in the band.
Boys, do we know Ukulele Lady?
Ukulele Lady.
Oh, this is my favorite part where they confer.
I think so.
Tommy Newsome knows it.
No, hey.
No, Will.
Will's got it.
Well, let's hear it.
Can I get a C chord or something?
Yeah.
I'm a ukulele lady, ukulele all night long.
Won't you ukulele with me and help me sing this song?
Are you people drunk?
Is that what it is?
We got it.
Is that the song?
Well, the band is great, but that's not my ukulele.
Oh, sorry, boy.
No, it's not the song.
Let's hear a little of it.
If you like a ukulele lady, ukulele lady like a U.
If you kiss a ukulele lady, ukulele lady kiss a U.
Yeah!
Thank you very much.
Good luck on Sunday.
Thank you.
Here we have.
Thank you very much.
We have here, I believe, a $200 gift certificate redeemable downstairs at Rock
America.
Go down and see Moojibur and Syrajool.
They'll take very good care of you.
Thank you very much again.
Nice meeting you.
And we just spoke to Johnny Carson.
That was exciting.
Man, that was great.
This is how dopey I am.
I still get nervous whenever I have to talk to Johnny Carson.
It still represents something like, you know, that's your, that's your, hey,
there's your big-time show business right there.
There's your king.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Thank you.