Name: Dave's Big Birthday Surprise | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-04-12T20:51:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Big Birthday Surprise | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Big Birthday Surprise | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-12. Transcript available.

Hi, I'm Barbara Gaines. This is Mary Barkley, and this is Dave Litterman.
Hi, nice to see you. Thank you, by the way, for having me on the show.
Mary, good to see you again.
Hi, everybody.
I understand you have some great stories about the eclipse.
I was going to say, I watched your eclipse show.
Oh, that was a good one, wasn't it?
That was a good one. And I saw two things I just wanted to bring up.
One was, people love Mary. That's one.
Yes, and well-deserved, for sure.
Yes, one person said, it's about time Barbara handed the show down to her
daughter.
Oh, Mom.
Yes, and another said, it would cost a lot to get a nurse as nice as Mary.
Whoa, I don't quite understand the implication of that, but it would, oh yeah,
you're going to, to get Mary in any version.
That's right.
Bring your checkbook.
I think that was the nursing home.
Yes, sister living.
But let me just say one thing. Whoever, that was a comment on the thing?
Yes.
That's a tremendous idea. I don't know why we didn't exploit that earlier, but
from now on, you are Mary's mother.
Do you mind? You don't mind, do you?
I don't mind. She's a lovely girl.
Thanks, Mom.
She's done well for herself.
Yeah, and Mary, you're flattered by the relationship.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Okay, that's great.
Yeah.
Well, it's just fantastic. I don't think there's another internet show anywhere
that features a withered old guy with a beard and a mother-daughter combo.
The withered old lady with a beard.
Yeah, I think this is fantastic. Finally, this is what we need to launch this.
Yeah.
All right, tell us a story about the eclipse. Where'd you go?
I went to the Adirondacks with my wife and son, and we saw, you know, the
eclipse.
Ooh, totality.
Is it completely dark?
Yes.
That's great.
And cold. It got cold, too.
I'm a big supporter of stuff like this. I mean, this year's been pretty good.
We had the Taylor Swift. That was great.
She eclipsed our hearts, am I right?
Hey!
And now, an actual eclipse. So, the last six months so far have been dang good
here, buddy.
Oh, earthquake! Did you feel the earthquake?
Oh, and the earthquake, for heaven's sake. This is one of those friendly
earthquakes, because a lot of times you hear about them, and they kill people
by the hundreds or the multiple hundreds. Those are the bad kind.
This one was, this is like Coney Island, you know, riding the cyclone. This was
great. But anyway, the eclipse story. Oh, did you tell it?
I don't really have a story.
Well, you told me in the pre-production meeting, you had a great story about
the eclipse.
Something hilarious, did I say?
I doubt that.
Seems unlikely that it would have been hilarious.
We want to do the old joke where we do the eclipse like this.
Oh, yes! The Tony Mendez.
The Tony Mendez. In honor of Tony Mendez, our old great cue card friend, Tony
Mendez, here comes now, the Barbara Gaines Show, recreation of the solar
eclipse. Take it away.
Oh, beautiful.
My eyes! That was lovely.
My eyes!
That was lovely. So I have two other things. One thing is, it's your birthday
on Friday.
My birthday on Friday.
Other notable April birthdays, Thomas Jefferson, William Shakespeare, Queen
Elizabeth, Charlie Chaplin, Leonardo da Vinci.
Yeah, my father was born April 15th. Oh, that's a good one.
And he used to moan and whine about it because, yeah, tax day. God damn it, I've
got to pay income tax on my birthday.
By the way, my father was nothing like that.
Your father's not a little Santa-like.
I know, a little bit of Santa.
For your birthday, we got you. And by we, Walter, Mary, and I...
No way!
That's you.
Is that a peach cherry pie?
It is a peach cherry pie.
Oh, my God. I remember a year ago, we had this. Fantastic.
Oh, it smells good as soon as you open the pie.
Oh, it does smell good.
Well, are we going to get to it?
And also, numerically speaking, I'm told that this has a special show element
to it.
Yes. Oh, that was the other thing. Before I get to the pie, today's show is our
50th show.
God damn it!
Holy shit!
Jesus Christ! I thought I had been assassinated. Honest to crap, don't do that.
Who did that?
I told you it would be loud.
Holy shit!
God, look at me. Is that blood?
Woo! Were you frightened?
I still can't hear.
As I recall from a year ago, this is great pie. This is like my mother's fight.
Let go of it.
What's the matter with you?
Don't touch the pie!
I've never seen anybody cut a pie like that in my life. What are you doing?
He's doing fine.
He's like cutting a steak.
Oh, I love steak.
Oh, I used to cut all the slices, I thought.
Oh, okay. Everybody's Wolfgang Puck.
Jesus Christ.
Bobby Flay here.
This is a really good pie.
You know, I just come on this because I like being on TV.
This isn't even TV.
Now I'm on for the pie.
Yeah, I'm here for the pie.
Well, yeah, this pie's pretty good.
And to spend time with mom.
It is good to see you, honey.
I'm telling you, this is great.
Don't forget to subscribe, push, and all that, and lovely, and goodbye.
Are you doing anything fun for your birthday?
Yes, I am.
What are you doing?
No one's business.
All right, good.
But it's still goodbye.
Wow.
Pie.