Name: Dave Tries To Donate His Ceramic Monkey To The Met | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-04-23T15:00:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Tries To Donate His Ceramic Monkey To The Met | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Tries To Donate His Ceramic Monkey To The Met | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-23. Transcript available.

You know, kids, when I made a big ceramic monkey in my art class on Staten
Island a couple of years ago,
I realized that something so beautiful shouldn't be hidden away, but should be
shared with the public.
So recently I decided to find a place where it could be admired and enjoyed for
ages to come.
Hal, roll the videotape.
All right, behind me is the Metropolitan Museum of Art,
perhaps the greatest repository anywhere in the world of historical, sociological,
and anthropological artifacts,
and we're going to see if they would be interested in my little donation.
Hi, how are you?
I have in here something that I'd like to give to the museum.
It's a donation, and I would like to talk to a curator or an administrator or a
supervisor.
Put it down.
It's just, have you seen it?
Do you mind if I even show it to you?
Let me just show you the item.
Hey, wait a minute, I've been manhandled here.
Hey, you grabbed me.
They seem to be really interested, but the guy we need to talk to is at lunch.
You work here?
Yeah.
What department?
Uh, the, uh, I'd rather not say, you know.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
Museum work is kind of sleazy, isn't it?
I think the reason everyone is so skittish is the museum employs a lot of known
felons and folks with records.
I made this a couple of years ago for Tom Brokaw.
For Tom Brokaw?
Yeah, my friend, I didn't see you.
Oh, I like you.
It's a ceramic monkey.
It's really ugly.
Well, I don't...
You don't need me.
That hat's not going to win prizes.
It's an object of art.
Really?
It represents life in this world in the 1980s.
This is life?
Well, not exactly.
Come on, you're manhandling my monkey.
Give me a dollar for a coach.
No, I'm not selling it.
This is not a yard sale.
No, stop it.
Now you're hurting my feelings.
Go on, go to lunch.
No, no, forget it.
I have something that I would like to donate free of charge to the museum.
I just think it would be nice for the people who come to the museum.
I hope it's not busted.
There.
Now, this is...
It's ceramic.
It would give me a nice feeling knowing that I have given this to the people of
New York.
Can you hear me?
Yes.
Watch the eyes.
Notice how the eyes seem to follow you wherever you...
Just, like, move around a little bit.
There you go.
See the eyes?
It seems to follow you, doesn't it?
It's haunting.
It smells kind of musty in here, doesn't it?
I guess that's old stuff.
Make a lovely cologne, wouldn't it?
Old stuff?
You look like a very bright young man.
Where are you from, son?
New Jersey.
Before you go outside, you should towel off your hair, by the way, Mike.
You're going to catch yourself at gold.
Now, if you had walked into the Hall of African Mammals and seen this, would
that have made you a happy boy?
No.
Huh?
No.
Get out of here.
Just get out of here.
Get back up the bus.
There.
It's yours.
Just take it, put it on a little table with some felt and maybe a card, turn a
small spotlight on it, and it's yours.
Let me tell you this about the donation.
This is clearly out of scope for this museum.
Dead beats.
They don't have any idea what they're talking about.
This is like the central bank of elevators, the studio elevators here at 30
Rockefeller Plaza.
And they have this thing entitled Long May You Soar, and I think emphasis on
the word soar, as in eyesore.
So we're just going to replace this with the monkey.
And, of course, the title of the monkey is Jocko.
Just shove this out of the way.
Be careful.
Try not to leave any fingerprints.
Don't bust it.
There'll be hell to pay.
And I think this is going to be a lovely addition to the NBC broadcast.
All right.
There you go.
Okay.
Good luck.
All right.
We got applause here for a commercial.
We'll be right back with Carol King.
We'll be right back with Carol King.
We'll be right back with Carol King.