Name: Fan Request: "Jaws" Richard Kiel | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-04-26T15:00:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: "Jaws" Richard Kiel | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: "Jaws" Richard Kiel | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-26. Transcript available.

You may not recognize my next guest by name, but some of the characters he has
created are film
legends. He was Mr. Eddie in a film called So Fine, and he'll go down in movie
history as
Jaws in several 007 films. Please welcome Richard Kiel.
Hi, Richard Hall. Nice to see you. Come on up.
How are you doing? This isn't one of Bill's cheers, is he?
No, probably not the $121,000 kind. Is that going to be all right? Are you all
right in there?
Yeah, I'm fine. I understand you've been fooling around with my wife.
Oh, gosh. What a rich sense of humor.
That's April Fool. As a matter of fact, I'm one of your biggest fans.
Well, that's very nice of you.
Now, I wasn't going to mention this, but you've referred to your size directly
or indirectly here a couple of times.
Yeah, I don't mind.
How tall a person are you?
I'm 7'2".
7'2"? And what do you weigh?
That's with my elevator shoes, which I don't have on.
Yeah. And what is your weight?
Well, I don't talk about that.
No, I weigh about 330.
Now, this must be problems for you, like airplanes, hotels, that sort of thing.
Do you run into, like, a bed?
Do you have to get a special bed in a hotel?
Yeah, well, you know, there's a lot of king-size beds and basketball players.
It's not too big of a deal.
You know, if there's a problem, I just sleep in shifts.
But airplanes, I'll tell you, I had a real problem flying out here.
They have this new plane.
I won't mention the name, but it was this AA Airlines, which I didn't
understand because everybody was drinking like mad.
But it was, but the bathrooms, the walls kind of tilt forward, you know, you're,
what, six feet tall, and, you know, it must be a problem for you, you know.
Yeah, but for me, I can't even get in, you know.
I open the door and there's a wall, you know.
So, so what do you, what do you do, have somebody hold the door open and you
stand on the other side of the hallway?
Oh.
On the other side of the aisle and.
How horrible notion that is.
Gosh.
That's about it.
Yeah, it's, yeah.
Do, do people, after a while, does it get on your nerves when people talk to
you about it or, or make remarks to you when they see it?
Because you're a very recognizable person, even if you weren't 7'2".
Well, how's that?
Well, because of the, the parts that you've played in films.
Oh, I know.
You know, you're talking about like.
Very distinct, distinct characters.
Yeah, in fact, one time, there was this guy, and he stood, you know, looking at
me, staring for about an hour.
And that really bugs me when, you know, when people stare.
Finally, I said to him, I said, yeah, what's the matter?
Haven't you ever seen a guy with a space between his teeth?
Oh, gosh.
Oh.
Let's, uh, let's.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'll clear this auditorium.
Let's talk about some of the, the, the parts that you've had in film.
You were, uh, the, the guy with the, the steel.
Actually, they were tools for teeth, right?
Wasn't that the, the character, the character of Jaws?
They wanted a guy who actually could bite cable with his teeth and stuff like
that?
Yeah.
And as a matter of fact, that was my audition for the film.
Yeah.
Which is kind of, you know, discouraging for an actor.
They, you know, they say, can you bite a steel cable in half?
Uh-huh.
Uh, now, the, these things that they built for you to wear, was it difficult to
act with those in there?
Were they, were they painful?
Were they uncomfortable?
Yeah, they were pretty miserable.
Uh, it was like having a train in your mouth.
It was, uh.
Well, in fact, I think, I think we have a picture of them right here, as a
matter of fact.
Yeah, these things were kind of like, uh, uppers and lower dentures made out of
cobalt steel
that went in the roofier mouth, and, you know, they were a little rusty, and,
uh, and that,
that painful expression I have in my face is because I'm, they're making me
nauseated.
Yeah.
Good Lord.
Uh, and then what is this one?
This is, I guess, from a new film with you, uh.
Yeah, I just did a Western.
Yeah.
With Clint Eastwood called Pale Rider.
And I got to ride a horse, uh, I've always wanted to ride a horse, you know,
and as you
can see, I'm, I play a leading man.
Now, how did, how would, uh, do you ride horses a lot?
Do you ever ride horses?
No.
In fact, I, you know, I hadn't ridden, uh, for years and years, uh, uh, uh, the
first time
I rode in the film, uh, was a, uh, film called Rifleman, a TV show and they had
this great
big horse, you know, a long time ago.
Now, does the horse, does that bother the horse to have someone of yours?
Well, in this particular film, they had just a regular horse and, uh, you know,
the 330 pounds,
uh, you know, I'm not real, not real big in the seat, you know, so it was like
all in
one spot.
Then my legs kind of dangle down and, you know, in all the wrong places, you
know, for
the horse.
And, uh...
It's like a horse with six legs.
Yeah.
And so, you know, he, and then he, and then he saw that gap between my teeth.
Oh, stop it.
Now, uh, well, let's...
Anyway, the horse got really, uh, after about an hour of sitting out, you know,
the movies
you shoot over and over and over again, you know, I guess he got kind of a, a
pain in his
back because he started, uh, complaining, and I was like, "Urgh!"
"Urgh!"
"Urgh!"
"Urgh!"
You know?
And, uh, so in the show, I get off the horse and I have a confrontation with
Clint.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, and I go back to get on the horse.
And when I went back to get on the horse, the horse started backing away.
That's it.
That's it.
I'm done.
What was, uh...
What did, what did you do before you became an actor?
Well, I wasn't doing too well.
Actually, I was an Elvis impersonator.
You know, I, I did all kinds of things.
I, uh, I sold vacuum cleaners.
Uh-huh.
And, uh...
Door-to-door kind of stuff?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Door-to-door.
But folks were happy to see you on the porch.
I used to knock on the roof, yeah.
Knock on the roof, yes.
Yeah.
And, uh...
Before that, I was a bouncer in, uh, some of the, uh, famous country and
western gin mills
and, uh, in the...
Where was this?
Uh, well, one was called the Ragdoll.
Where about?
What part of the country?
North Hollywood.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
And, uh, actually, that's where I learned how to be an actor.
Yeah.
You know, to get these crazy guys, you know, they'd get too much to drink and,
uh, they'd
get bigger and bigger.
bigger you know about one o'clock in the morning they'd say hey guys it's so
big you know and so
they come up to me and i i figured rather than argue with them i just kind of
be real friendly
and i go and then uh sober yeah yeah yeah they got real sober uh the the movie
with clint east
what is called pale writers yeah and be out in june yeah i think what school's
that did you enjoy that
turned out to be a nice film you think oh yeah i think it's it's gonna be uh
exciting it's uh kind
of like uh uh shane and high noon with dirty harry oh good yeah it's a good
combination yeah yeah uh
nice meeting you richard thank you very much for being here it's a real
pleasure we uh one more
commercial and then we'll be right back
Thank you.