Name: George Michael Explains His Outdoor Nookie Arrest | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-05-15T22:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'George Michael Explains His Outdoor Nookie Arrest | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'George Michael Explains His Outdoor Nookie Arrest | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

Our first guest is a multiple Grammy Award nominee who has sold more than 60
million albums his new double CD compilation is entitled ladies and
gentlemen the best get one right here the best of George Michael and it'll be
available in stores tomorrow here is George Michael nice to have you on the
show it's your first time this issue it's not your first time on the show
excuse me you should notion you yes it is is this your first time like over the
old show at NBC singing and stuff did we have you on that no well welcome to
the
damn show I don't know what's going on someone was trying to throw a blonde wig
on me back there and teaching me all these different languages and that happens
to you all the time
what was about a year ago you were arrested in California what was what was
that all about about a year ago was it a year ago about six months six months
ago
yeah times flying is all of the is all of that has that all been straightened
out
now I still I've just been I have community service to fulfill but I'm for I
did actually I was every I was expected to be given like a couple of extra
months to
do it in but apparently it's been I've got to do it by the end of December what
now what kind of community service will you be doing
well I already do quite a lot of work with a charity called project angel food
in
Los Angeles who who deliver meals to AIDS patients all over Los Angeles in the
air
and I've already kind of got connections with them so I think I'll do work
there in
you continue doing that and it will work toward your no no no no no it's not I
mean I do have to
actually do you know but I have no problem in doing it I know the people and
you know they'll set me to
work in the kitchen right imagine so so what exactly happened and and and I
just I just want to say before we get onto this topic that I've been I've been
told backstage I can't say the M word and the M word so God knows I mean I if
you're not allowed to say it no wonder I got arrested doing it what is
I mean you know what time does this show go out 1130 it's 1130 it's an adult
show though it's a true true
I guess people don't get up to that kind of thing here
so uh you can take us through it step by step and and if you can see what
happens here
all right so tell me maybe maybe see maybe I've been misled I was under the
impression you didn't mind talking about this but if you would rather not talk
about it we'll talk about other things
trying to work I don't want to embarrass you I was under the impression we
could talk about I'm good at embarrassing myself I'm very good at okay all
right so then let's go ahead and talk about it I just can't work out how to say
it without using the M word but I'll find some other
um so what happened what happened was kind of vaguely slightly inebriated pop
star on a lovely summer's day
and uh and uh I went into I went to uh I walked into the restroom I was
followed where is the restroom this
is a public restroom this is kind of very it's a very classy restroom it's
directly opposite the Beverly Hills
hotel and um basically I was followed into the toilet by a man six you know
well over six foot uh fairly
attractive not carmel not colombo someone kind of slightly more attractive than
that and um
I was I was uh I think the word the word the official word is entrapped I
suppose I was
coaxed fairly um directly really yes and uh and and basically um nothing
happened I didn't come
within uh
be careful listen please hanson is here tonight please be careful
please be careful be honest be honest Meryl Streep heard I was on the show
right and she pulled out
I don't think so no I had nothing I don't know what she's busy she's very very
busy woman okay I'll
catch up with her sometime but now uh uh uh head now you had gone in your your
reason for going into
the restroom I'm guessing was innocent enough is that oh yeah absolutely you
went in there for the purpose
that 98 percent of the people I've said before I've said before I'm I'm no
stranger to um you know outdoor nookie
that's what you can say nookie but you can't say the other word well I didn't
think I didn't think
Americans understood nookie I thought it was a bit like do you say nookie
I didn't think you did so I thought I'm not allowed to say masturbation I'll
have to say nookie something
sorry so I guess half of America just switched over yeah oh
I think they're switching here I think word is spreading across the yards uh so
anyway
now you're in there and a guy a cop comes in and he and he he uh he is a setup
it's all a
setup I mean a lot of people find this really hard to imagine I must admit I
found it quite
hard to believe at the time but um it's very common practice it's uh it's
called entrapment it's
illegal it's basically being coaxed what did the guy do what did the guy do
right the guy that turned
out to be a police officer okay all right well he I'll tell you this is the
nicest way I can put it I've
put it this way before and I don't want to be graphic and nasty he played a
game called you show me yours
no I'll show you mine he it was called I'll show you mine you show me show me
yours and then I'll take
you down the police station what what show me what what are we looking at
well he wasn't showing me his fillings you know what I mean so this this guy
actually drops his
pants there in front of you no he didn't have to drop them he had his I'm not
allowed to say
the words am I well I'm a bit stuck here he had his the important equipment
well I think that depends on your perspective
okay all right okay so imagine for a moment that you're straight yeah I know
what's going on he's
he's he's he's he's uh imagine for a moment that I'm what
you didn't need to you didn't need to say that did you why would you say that
I've been dying to say oh for heaven all right so uh the guy
standing there trying to engage in some sort of activity he said he said
actually the police report
said that he was simulating urination right now excuse me how do you simulate
urination
and make no noise do you know I'm saying you simulate it if you tried to
simulate urination
doing that with your hands you'd get wee all over the shop is all I can say
don't try at home folks you know don't try at home actually no do try at home
because you're safe there
so uh and now are you are you nervous are you scared are you embarrassed about
this whole thing
did they they what they take you downtown now what do they do I had well I
would say after
after that um I was taken to the police station which is probably the nicest
jail
in the western world is the Beverly Hills police department and I was I was
thinking
actually when I look back on it it was pathetic well I was sitting there
thinking I'm so lucky that
no one's been arrested this afternoon apart from me right because I was
thinking you know you
never know it maybe it won't get out right this is like seven hours later I've
got helicopters flying
around my house hundreds of people in the street so you're saying that you were
completely innocent
in this particular episode that it was more or less a misunderstanding
absolutely but and the point
being and the point ultimately the point being that it I think it's kind of
irrelevant in terms of the law
what my general behavior is even though I've admitted to to you know similar
sort of behavior um point is
the police are not allowed to do something illegal in order to make you do
something illegal
you know it was definite entrapment what are you going to try and go after them
well no because the
thing is at the time um I did actually consider because this week the DA's
office uh you know issued a
statement which they've done plenty of times in the last six months I have to
say I don't know why they
have to but they issued a statement saying that if I wanted if I had believed
that I was entrapped
and I actually said in I mean the one thing about the police report that I know
they had to put down
was the fact that I stood in the middle of the street surrounded by people
saying this is entrapment
I'm going to have to say this is entrapment you know um so that was in there
because I said it
publicly there are enough people watching and listening but um uh they said
that if I believed it was
entrapment having seen an interview that I did last week then why didn't I go
to court right now if
someone can really tell me that a sane celebrity involved in a lewd conduct
arrest right takes their
you know their their grievance to international cameras and stands in court
saying yes you did him
going no I didn't you're going yes you did you know what kind of there's no way
that I'm going to um
put myself through that and there's no I'm going to feed the circus to that
degree well I was tried
really by the media I hope this whole episode hasn't changed your uh outlook on
outdoor nookie oh god I just have to make sure it's completely outdoor I guess
uh now are you
you're going to sing for us you're not going to sing for us I'm not singing he's
really clued up on me
he doesn't remember whether I've been on the show he doesn't know whether I'm
playing or not
I'm offended are you really no I was going to say it takes an awful lot to
offend you
well I'm glad I'm glad the uh the episode is uh history for you now you should
go on
take care of your life then definitely oh nice meeting you george cheers thank
you very much
thank you george michael ladies and gentlemen
you