Name: Viewer Mail: Dave's Fashion Dreams Come True | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-05-23T15:00:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Dave's Fashion Dreams Come True | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: Dave's Fashion Dreams Come True | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

At any rate, we've got to get rolling here. Let's start by answering our viewer
mail.
Paul, by the way, I'm kind of getting to like the viewer mail theme now.
You're liking it now.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen, and the viewer mail theme. Go ahead, Paul.
Yes, well, actually, tonight I have something sort of special for tonight's
show.
Here to sing Henry Mancini's viewer mail thing that we're all getting to love.
A special guest? Yeah, a special guest.
This man is a composer's composer, an entertainer's entertainer.
Right.
Just last night with his partner, Leslie Brickus, he was inducted into the Songwriters
Hall of Fame.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Anthony Newley.
Anthony Newley? Oh, my God.
Thank you, all right, thank you.
Viewer mail, viewer mail, Friday is the night we read viewer mail.
First we read them, then we answer them.
It's a little thing we call viewer mail.
Everyone laughs at the viewer mail clown.
But he's only funny by mistake.
When the last letter's read, and he's gone home to bed,
they can't see his painted heart break.
The viewer mail, and he's gone home to bed, and he's gone home to bed, and he's
gone home to bed, and he's gone home to bed.
He's gone home to bed, and he's gone home to bed, and he's gone home to bed.
Anthony Newley, and he's gone home to bed, and he's gone home to bed, and he's
gone home to bed.
Anthony Newley, and he's gone home to bed, and he's gone home to bed, and he's
gone home to bed.
Anthony Newley, where did he go? He just disappears behind the paneling.
I've got to explain. I played it in a totally wrong key.
At some point, did I hear you scream F sharp?
Yeah.
I played it in a totally different key.
Uh-huh.
Mr. Newley had to sing at a full two octaves above his normal range, and he
made it.
Well, he still did a nice job, and there he is there. Get him.
He's trying to get away.
He may have hurt himself on that last note.
There he goes, walking off into the shadows of ignominy.
Anyway, very nice, Paul. Very moving, very inspirational.
I can't believe he hit that last note. It was unbelievable.
Okay.
Full two octaves above his normal range.
Here we go. Letter number one, boys and girls.
Dear Dave, while driving on the Indiana Turnpike, you know I'm from Indiana,
Paul,
I noticed all the rest stops are named after famous Hoosiers.
Booth Tarkington, for example, Newt Rockne, et cetera.
Dave, you are the most famous Hoosier of all, so where's your rest stop?
Well, I don't know about that.
It comes to us from Alina Chermak, Chicago, Illinois.
You know, it's not really an entire rest stop, Alina,
but the Indiana Highway Commission has seen fit to honor me right there on I-65,
just south of Indianapolis, right here.
I'll show you how they've done it.
See? That's what they've done.
And the best part of the whole deal is I get to work with Oprah,
so I couldn't be happier.
There, you see how that...
That's smart.
Smart. That's pretty smart.
You know, I use radar and stuff.
I mean, bats flying around in the radar.
Number two, dear Dave, on April 17th, 1989, while watching The Tonight Show,
I saw a commercial for your show.
The commercial said something about your show being environmentally correct.
This did not turn out to be true.
Paul, Paul was drinking from a styrofoam cup.
Those cups are not biodegradable.
The answer, give Paul a paper cup.
Sincerely, Matthew Stone.
Orient, Ohio.
Well, Matthew, I appreciate your concern,
but, you know, Paul has switched to paper cups,
and he did so a long, long time ago.
In fact, I don't think there's anyone more concerned with the environment
than her own Paul Schaefer.
I just wish I could say the same for our own Biff Henderson.
Biff, do you really think it's a good idea
to be burning those tires backstage?
Why not?
I like the way fumes make me nice and sleepy.
A lot better than a glass of warm milk.
Yeah, but it's affecting the audience, Biff.
Thank you very much.
All right.
He likes the way the fumes make him feel.
Letter number three.
Dear Mr. Letterman, in curating our large herbarium,
is that right, Paul?
Herbarium?
I believe that's probably it.
Herbarium.
In the Academy of Natural Sciences,
I have come across plant specimens collected
in the latter part of last century by a George W. Letterman.
This caused me to wonder whether the collector
might be an ancestor of yours,
which, if so, would be pleasant,
as it would link two of my interests,
botany and your late-night program.
Yours sincerely, Benjamin C. Stone,
Chairman Department of Botany,
the Academy of Natural Sciences,
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
As a matter of fact, Mr. Stone,
G.W. Letterman was my grandfather.
And since his death,
I have continued his work financed entirely
by my lucrative television position.
And now, as a tribute to my grandfather,
I would like to present to you
the result of my experiments.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Plant Boy.
Plant Boy.
So, Plant Boy.
What's that?
Plant Boy.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
And please, Plant Boy,
promise me you'll never date.
It's not really a problem, Dave.
I'd love to.
Actually, this man here,
I've got to tell you,
is like a father to me.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
No, it's true.
He genetically created me
a few plant cuttings,
some hormones,
and lots of tender, loving care.
Yeah, that's great.
And, you know,
considering all the things
that could have gone wrong,
I'd say I turned out pretty well.
Well, I'd say so, too.
And now that you're fully grown,
what do you intend to do?
Well, to tell you the truth,
I was wondering about that, Dad.
Can I call you Dad?
Sure, why not?
I'm actually thinking
of going to community college.
Oh, good.
At least I figure out who I am
and what I want to do with my life.
Well, that sounds great.
Anything else going on?
Yeah, I'll be at Zaney's
in Chicago next Tuesday,
and I'll be at the Yuck Yuck Club
in Pittsburgh this Friday.
That'll be great.
I think you have an aphid right there.
Be careful.
It's Plant Boy,
ladies and gentlemen.
Plant Boy.
He's waving.
He made that exit
like he was a hit.
Let's see.
Are we up to number four?
Number four.
Dear Dave,
I've noticed that you've been
dressing quite stylishly lately.
Is it possible that your dream
for a career in fashion designer modeling
took a backseat to talk show hosting
Level With Us, Dave?
Fashionably yours.
Gene Schwartz,
New York City, New York.
I'm sorry,
Jen Schwartz it is.
Yes, yes, Jen,
you're absolutely right.
My dream of being a fashion designer
has finally come true,
and I think I found my real calling.
In fact,
the big spring show in Paris
was a tremendous success.
Wait, Dave.
What?
You can barely dress yourself.
How can you...
No.
Why are you lying to our viewers?
Lying?
Yeah.
Lying?
Yeah.
Girls?
Well, we'll see who's lying.
First, we have Belinda.
And doesn't she look ravishing
in this sporty blazer
and comfortable khaki pants?
Her smart accessories include
soft wrestling shoes
and a simple belt
with a look of genuine leather.
Thank you very much, Belinda.
That's the plant boy.
Next, it's Debra.
And as you can see,
Debra is ready
for an evening on the town
where she will be
a bright addition
to any club or restaurant
or with one easy change,
an intimate dinner at home.
Thank you very much, Debra.
Plant boy.
Oh, good.
All this plus plant boy.
And finally,
Simone will dance the night away
in this sporty yet elegant
jacket and pants combination
that says playfully,
I like myself
and my go-anywhere ensemble.
Why, thank you very much, Simone.
It's Simone.
What a night!
What a night!
Oh, my God.
We have to do a commercial.
We'll be right back.