Name: Bill Murray Is Looking For A Job | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-05-23T22:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Murray Is Looking For A Job | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Murray Is Looking For A Job | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

uh ladies and gentlemen our first guest is an academy award nominated actor who
stars as the
voice of garfield the cat in the garfield the movie movie it opens on friday
here he is folks bill
murray yeah there he is how about that
great to see you and you look uh you look different from the last time i saw
you
well i had to pull it together i'm uh i'm looking for a summer job
and this this will help you know i'm i'm not going to lie to him
right you know this is who i am and and where will you go looking for work like
that
well i got uh i fill out an application at footlocker
and uh you know you gotta give you a huge discount
yeah and uh i tried sam goody too for records well i hope those come through
for you as they said
you know don't bother calling back oh no but you look and don't take this the
wrong way i certainly
don't mean to offend you you look uh you couldn't you look a little like a
clown
well that's the temp thing i got oh you're doing some temp work well it's not
permanent you know yeah
are you having trouble breathing
you know i had reminds me i used to have a job laying asphalt and i used to
come home with my clothes and
forget uh-huh take them off the same thing so your temporary job what are you
doing well i'm over
with uh cirque du soleil oh that's that's like a very well-known a very famous
circus well i figured
they were big enough to be you know they have opportunities you know and uh you
know it was
you know they just looked at me you know and uh you know they figured well he's
got his own clothes
we'll take them from town now where do you break in in the circus world i mean
where do they start with
that well uh they said you know i have no skills so uh they put me in as a spot
or a breaker oh spotter
or a breaker you know what is that exactly what are your responsibilities well
uh uh uh creatively what
i i do i make faces at the children you know there are kids down there and uh i
got i do a lot
oh yeah yeah
yeah that sort of stuff yeah they enjoy that and uh wait hold on
nice that's very nice and uh but uh basically my job is to stand underneath the
uh the high wire axe
and uh if they fall uh they're supposed to land on top of me
and is there any way you can train for that i mean do you actually catch people
i mean what happens
well they they said they have a training program but it was all full up but if
i were willing to train on
my own that i could get the job so i did i i i got a like a little balcony
thing in my house and uh
i'll stand down there and uh you know i'll just and when i'm not looking my
kids will throw heavy stuff
down on me when you're not when you're not looking the kids will drop stuff on
you well that's the thing
it's all about being really attentive you know because you can watch the act
and you know
but at the same time the kids are right there and you want to you know do some
stuff you know you
want to like mix it up yeah and it's a very active circus and i know they want
to give more and more
all the time and i'm bringing something i know i am so i want to i want to give
something to the kids and
uh that's why i i practice with the not looking sort of heavy objects right and
and how do you
how do you take the circus life generally are you enjoying it do you like the
circus people do you
like the atmosphere do you like the food do you like the this well the food is
the big sticker really
i like the people find uh there are a lot of uh a lot of people people i don't
understand them
i mean they sort of speak french but it's quebecois french you know so i i i'm
with them with i can
curse with them but that's really it and uh then all the sort of contortionists
and everything you
know they don't make you feel so good they make you feel uh like you're
disgusting you're fat you know
and i'm having trouble i'm having issues i'm having eating i feel like i have
an eating disorder
when i'm around really yeah and the circus too is like that you walk in you
know you hit randall's
island and you're walking and the popcorn gets you right away oh yeah and uh
and you know it's like
a it's a discount thing too so i usually load up on cotton candy i get cotton
candy and then they
got these massive cokes huge cokes oh sure and cotton candy again and popcorn
and uh i get sick a
lot i eat too much and you know if you're not feeling too good your tummy you
got a belly ache
and then a heavy object hits you in the back of it yeah you know you tend to
lose control
but the show the show must go on for heaven's sakes it's the big top i just act
like it's part of
what's supposed to happen yeah and you know and they always got like little
guys with brooms and
stuff and like you know whoa yeah but yeah it's uh it's been great it's it's uh
i had one other
option though if and i'm it's nuts uh you know i'd be stupid if i didn't take
this opportunity but
i was thinking of doing detailing you know hard like cars hard detailing you
know well
that's it's good money in that yeah but i mean like if you could get like a
really important car to
detail uh-huh i can make a call i'll see what i can do you know the thing the
thing is
because i mean i i i uh i didn't really watch the race i mean it's just
but i mean it's gotta i appreciate i appreciate it's different if you're there
because it's so loud
you can't fall asleep right but at home you're out but uh you know i noticed uh
your your your guy you
know they come in all the time and they're changing the tires and those tires
don't look so great you
know and if you had someone you know with a gun spray gun armor all those
things before they go out
it's like you know where's uh where's the letterman car he's right there
the one with the gleam god who did those wheels they look great
these tires look great yeah all right well i'll keep you know a lot of these
decisions are out of my
hands but i'll certainly keep this in mind oh come on man i'll do what i can't
you just tell ray hall to
kiss your ass all right let me ask you about the baseball season where uh what
it was almost all
star break isn't it about three weeks or something yeah it's oh uh speaking of
baseball today um what
did you get for winning the indy 500. there's the the driver and the team get a
lot of money and i just
get the fun of it uh did you get any kind of like a jacket or anything cool or
anything i got a i got
a nice hat oh did uh did you get one of these well as a matter of fact i will
be getting one yes what
do you have there this is the uh championship ring of the brockton rocks of the
northeast league wow
take a look at that baby
congratulations is that is that last season yeah it's last season wow that's
good for you how long
have you owned that team uh i i don't i detail their cars
it's nice of them to think of you uh no it's been a little bit wow i'm just one
of a few guys
but it was nice of them to think of me yeah i think so uh the great thing about
a ring like
this davis that it goes with it really does yeah
now we have some uh videotape i think of you at opening day at wrigley field oh
you're throwing
out the first pitch uh-huh you want to see that yeah i've never really seen it
i've never seen it
uh it was kind of a frightening moment this was in april a couple of months ago
it was cold it was like
42 degrees or something you know chicago full house yeah and um who did they
play who cares
bill is is everything all right at home no no the cubs are having trouble no
they played pittsburgh
actually i like pittsburgh uh and their team too but um it was a cold it was a
freezing cold day and so
you're throwing out the big i'm throwing out the pitching and they love you in
chicago they got no
option what do you mean they got no option well almost everybody else been
arrested for something
you know in trouble or died or something you know i'm there's not a very many
of us left i see all
right but so it's freezing cold you're on the mound you're ready to go cold and
then i noticed that well
i decided i'm going to really let it go you don't want to do that sissy thing
where you kind of bounce
it to the catcher you don't want to do that yeah that presidential thing where
it gets there on two
hops yeah no that's no good no i didn't want to do that i wanted to bring all
the bring it all you
know and uh the catchers michael barrett's barrett catcher for the cubs he's up
there and he gives me
the sign for a curveball well it's just not going to happen no right yeah i
didn't fly to chicago for
opening day to to to uncle charlie yeah exactly yeah so i brought i brought all
the heat
all right let's let's see what happened here now okay okay let's roll the videotape
wow that's kind of scary yeah looks like it got away from you huh looks like it
got away from you
well i i had it sculpted about two weeks ago now it's all right but yeah i just
the scary thing was
they put a new backstop up there and i didn't think it was going to make it
over nothing worse
than it hits the backstop and drops down limply now chicago is when you where
you started
your performing career obviously right yes what sort of things did you do when
you're first starting
out well i mean the first real uh performance job i had was i uh i sold uh
chestnuts outside of a
supermarket and chestnuts yeah the guys thought this would be very continental
to have it outside of
their sort of gourmet restaurant and it was just i thought i couldn't get any
other work and so it was
like this situation so i had this job and i just used to get a lot of laughs
selling chestnuts because nobody gave
a damn about chestnuts no i mean i don't know do people even eat them really i
i think they give
them their animals but the people do eat them yeah and uh but nobody wanted it
so i basically helped
people put their groceries in their cars all day long here's a quarter so no
that's all right i don't
want this while you were in high school no no in high school i was just not
studying
no oh in high school yeah i did i went in high school you did uh you know you
did like school
plays and oh sure like that what was the first school play well um well my
grandest success
uh was in was in the music man really man yeah you you were the the music man
no no no
oh i didn't i didn't get that i didn't get that although i i auditioned i
auditioned yeah but i
didn't get it and i didn't get i wasn't in the barbershop quartet either or i
didn't get any of the
real stuff i didn't get a speaking part really but uh they had a um one day i
was walking down
this corridor and they had a you know by the theater and there were girls in
there which was
a pretty big deal in my school because there were no girls in my school so i
walked in there and
i it turned out they were having dance auditions so i just you know acted like
i was there to
audition for the dance while i was meeting all these girls and then as i was
leaving they said okay
you you and you you know pointed at me and i was like uh you know i'm just
about to say i i really
can't dance anymore i've got a sprained knee or something you know and she said
unfortunately uh
due to my schedule the rehearsals would be from uh seven to ten at night
meaning i'd have to leave
my house and go out and rehearse with these girls from seven to ten five nights
a week
and the rest of course is history well these were like the bad girls from saint
uh sacred
art downtown yeah and uh you know the bad girls yeah well they drank gin out of
seven up bottles
they were pretty cool uh the movie garfield now you are garfield that you weren't
the music man but
you are garfield just for that hour and a half yeah all right it opens on friday
here is bill murray
everybody good luck bill thank you nice job