Name: Viewer Mail: The Secret To Dave's Celebrity Interviews | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-06-20T15:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: The Secret To Dave's Celebrity Interviews | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail: The Secret To Dave's Celebrity Interviews | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-20. Transcript available.

here we go it's thursday night we got a great show for you and we'll begin it
here in just a
second paul did you know this that our own head writer stephen o'donnell
yesterday thwarted a
purse snatching no kidding yeah he was walking home from the building here and
somebody grabbed
somebody's purse a couple from california a woman and her daughter and he
chased the guy down about
the four blocks and uh beat him silly and returned the purse good for him very
nice steve o'donnell
did that uh here we go tonight's uh top 10 list from the home office in milwaukee
now paul you
understand the concept of these don't you these are the top 10 uh greatest
things in any category
that's right and they're little icebreakers conversation starters things to
discuss with
your family and friends in those awkward moments things to like uh take down as
we're take dictation
as we're exactly good point paul you can take these down at home excellent
point paul yeah
take these down at home and if you want to put your tape on slow speed that's
right you can tape
them a little easier you can understand the words it sounds more like this
number one very good
very good now when they slow that down it will really be hard to hear won't it
then it's down to
like uh yeah it's unbelievable the amount of fun we have here nightly isn't it
from the home office in milwaukee as always top 10 things justice rehnquist has
a fuzzy memory of
here we go 10 marching in anti-unicef parade nine removing more than one copy
of usa today from
sidewalk vending machine eight turning back odometer on rental car seven
leaving airplane restroom a mess
six taking this is albuquerque book from holiday inn five participating in seal
clubbing weekends with
strom thurman number four driving barefoot on interstate number three trying to
redeem burrito
coupon at non-participating del taco number two forcing ball down clown's nose
for free miniature
golf game number one rebroadcasting baseball without express written consent of
major league baseball just
to impress girls
thank you and now ladies and gentlemen the reason we're here the reading of the
will oh no no no no
viewer mail actual letters from actual viewers here we go letter number one
dear dave what are you
doing to prepare for california's next great earthquake just wondering brian suhata
northridge california
uh geez what am i doing to prepare for california's next great earthquake
living in connecticut
all right thank you
i have to turn off my ball machine and i suggest you do the same at home
actual letters yes from actual viewers actual letters that's right from actual
viewers that's right an
actual network television program don't shake those too hard letter number two
dear dave is paul really
from canada or is he an undercover spy from an unfriendly foreign power please
clear this matter up
as a concerned canadian i am losing sleep yours truly alan mckenzie prince edward
island canada where's
prince edward island paul it's a maritime province maritime province up there
was nova scotia yes sir what
else uh new brunswick nova scotia newfoundland pei well alan in order to put
your mind at rest and
i'm guessing that's pretty much where it usually is uh what i'm going to do
here is now ask paul a
special series of questions prepared by the canadian government right here in
the sealed envelope
here it is and uh if paul can answer these then yes in fact he is a canadian
citizen ready paul
uh yeah go ahead dave paul question number one what holiday falls on the monday
closest to july 12th in
newfoundland uh that would be orangeman's day that's correct thank you
who won the lady bing trophy for sportsmanship in the nhl during the 1985
season uh that would be uh
yari curry uh of the edmonton oilers correct again not exactly share the
pronunciation yeah
now paul another sports question canada of course won the 1985 world
championship in curling
correct hurling who was the skip for the championship team uh oh al hackner uh
skip al hackner also
correct that team yeah and now paul the final question prepared by the canadian
government
in what important way would the world be worse off today if canada had never
existed
uh really uh i think it would be about the same absolutely correct apparently
this man is a canadian
we have shriners wandering the hallway letter number three this is fun paul isn't
it very
nice letter number three dave i just found out that the only girl in my life
doesn't like you or your
show what the hell should i do steve johnson rosewell roswell uh georgia uh you
know steve actually i'm
afraid i'm at a loss here but you know i think there is somebody who might be
able to help you let's see do we
let's see do we have oh yeah now these are these are not actual letters from
actual viewers let's see
what happens when i do this with these and let's see if oh my gosh there he is
again paul hi dave
uh elvis this guy steve johnson is having girl troubles dave all i can say is
love her tender love her true
i can barely hear you elvis never let her go never let her go well that was
very nice elvis
but it's not really much help you see this guy's girlfriend doesn't like me or
doesn't care for the
show either hmm then just tell her what i told ann margaret in viva las vegas
uh-huh if you don't
want me to be as cold as ice treat me nice treat me nice that's good elvis but
again i think this
was actually something you did in the motion picture clam bake well whatever
keep flapping
those cards and keep taking care of business okay you too elvis thank you so
much
elvis elvis yeah where are we here letter number um four thank you thank you
very much our director
mr hal gertner ladies and gentlemen dear dave i am just yes hal oh i'm sorry
hal gurney ladies and
gentlemen hal gurney dear dave i'm just sitting home watching tj hooker jim claire
essexville michigan
paul did you hear this jim claire is just sitting home watching tj hooker he's
just sitting at home
he's home yeah he's home jim claire is home jim claire is home that's wonderful
i'm so relieved hey
everybody jim claire is home the search is off call the search job you can
relax come on everybody come
come on home oh it's great jim claire he's home nice job all right jim claire
is home thank you boys
i feel like a heavy weight thank you a huge weight has been lifted off my
shoulders i mean who cares
about the hours that we put in the manpower it's worth it just to know that jim
claire is safe is
safe back to choppers everybody jim claire is safe we can all go home happy you
know he's probably
just home he's been watching tv the whole time i could laugh and yet i could
cry it's wonderful news
jim claire is okay nice job he's fine you're quite a thespian when it gets
right down to it excuse me
what did you call me quite a thespian dear dave letter number five begins optimistically
enough
how do you get your guests to reveal their innermost secrets to you this is
certainly a talent that only
a precious few entertainers possess just wondering hamish purdy vancouver canada
good question hamish
you know we're very proud of our in-depth interviews on this program and most
people
don't realize this but paul yes paul schaefer is quite important in the process
why just this afternoon i was talking to paul about this very procedure
hi paul oh hi dave this is mr murphy the umbrella collector he's on next week
oh great nice to see
you hi it's a pleasure to meet you so how's it going paul well i'm having a
little trouble getting that
anecdote you wanted what anecdote i don't know what you're talking about well
that's what they all say
right paul yeah at first
if something funny had happened to me in high school wouldn't i tell you about
it yeah right
well we'll see go ahead paul all right here we go
attention all security personnel share has escaped from her holding cell and
has been spotted on sub
level three this is gonna be fun paula chase let's go
what the hell is that that's uh special music for when you do this and your
whole jacket moves
uh here we go we got a message from the folks who make this beer you know let
me just say one
thing here these people sent over a case of beer earlier in the week a case one
lousy case of
beer we have a staff of like 600 people and a studio audience of another 200
people we get one
lousy case that boils down to about an ounce of beer per person let me ask you
this question
before they started advertising on our show has anybody here ever heard of budweiser
and now a word from budweiser beechwood aged