Name: Kamarr The Discount Magician's Guillotine Gaffe | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-06-25T15:00:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kamarr The Discount Magician's Guillotine Gaffe | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kamarr The Discount Magician's Guillotine Gaffe | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-25. Transcript available.

- Thanks, Paul.
My next guest is a very popular performer
at major resort hotels in the Pocono and Catskill Mountains.
He'll be working this weekend at Kutcher's,
the only Greek magician currently working
in these United States.
Please welcome K-Mar, the magician.
- Hi, David.
- Oh, Kutcher, oh.
- K-Mar, how are you?
- Nice to see you.
- Oh, yes, I'm glad to go back again here.
- Glad to have you here.
- He brought me so much luck.
- What did you think of Kenny?
Did you see Kenny?
- Yes, yes, I think your picture is today in the paper,
but in the Greek paper, look at this.
- My gosh, my picture is in the paper.
Well, that's very nice.
- Famous.
Can I say to all my Greeks in Greek,
Merry Christmas, because they love you.
A million Greeks here.
And to my special friend over there,
Happy Christmas and New Year's.
Okay, now let's do something.
When I came here, they told me I had eight minutes.
Now they're giving me four minutes.
- Because the Kenny the garden ran a little long.
- Would you please break the egg?
We're going to do something spectacular.
- No shells, just break the egg?
- Yeah, okay, very good.
Now, oh, not bad.
Just threw me in the hot.
A little flour.
Okay.
Oops.
Lighter fuel.
- Yeah, a little lighter fluid.
- Okay, fire.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
We have fire department here, yes.
Cover it up.
Say the magic word.
And fasten on the eye, I can see.
Oh, we have David Letterman, Happy 1985.
A beautiful cake, look at that.
And I really mean that.
- That's great.
- David, I want you to taste it because it comes from the best pastry shop in a
story, my friend.
- I'll eat anything with lighter fluid in it.
- No, no.
- We've got to do a commercial, K-Mar.
Get ready for the next illusion, and then when we come back, we'll take a look
at it.
- Great.
- All right, K-Mar, we have two minutes.
- Okay, David, we have minutes.
Let's rush.
This is the French guillotine.
This is the original copy.
They used to execute criminals in France, Marie Antoinette from history.
Now, let me show you how it works.
- She was executed with this very...
- Yeah.
- ...with this very...
- ...with this very...
- ...with this very...
- ...with this very...
- Yeah.
- ...with this very...
- ...with this very...
- Yeah.
- ...with this very...
- ...with this very...
- Yeah.
- ...with this very...
- ...with this very...
- Yeah.
- ...with this very...
- ...with this very...
- Yeah.
- Now, this is how it works.
This is a blade.
And this, we put the cucumber right here when your neck is gonna be.
Watch.
- Uh-huh.
- Watch what happened.
Watch.
One, two, three.
Wow.
Like a razor blade, it cuts.
Look at this.
- Yeah.
- Now, I want you to put your head in there, David.
Let me put the blade up.
All the way up like this.
Okay, we fixed.
That's it.
We take this out.
We're all set to go.
Would you please, sir, if you can be kind enough?
- Well, now, do I have to?
- You know, I ask a lot of celebrities, Joe Franklin and other ones.
Nobody wants to do it.
Yeah, they're chickened out.
Would you please sit down?
Don't be afraid.
It works.
Paul, what did you do?
Come here, Paul.
Come on.
There you are.
Come here.
Come on.
David, it always works.
No, no.
Paul.
Oh, sit down.
Paul, it always works.
Two times out of three.
Paul, this is K-Mar.
- Okay, Paul.
- This is Paul Schaefer.
- K-Mar, I love it.
- He stole it, so we won't do it.
Will you please, Paul, sit down.
Let's prove to David and everybody that it always works.
Watch.
Don't be afraid.
I'm going to cut you right on the dotted line.
Okay, now.
Oops.
That's my last victim.
It didn't survive.
Oh, my.
Okay.
Now, we put one cucumber in the bottom.
Oh, a long night.
Now, watch your fingers.
Put your fingers over here, sir, please.
Now, we're going to release right there.
We're going to release the blade.
The blade will go through the head.
It will cut the cucumber in the bottom, but hopefully won't cut his head.
Ready?
One, two, three.
One second.
Straighten up the head, please.
Right there.
That's it.
Watch.
Are we ready?
Oops.
Okay.
One, two, three.
Allez.
Oh!
Did I get you?
It got stuck.
We got to do it again.
No, no.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
It got stuck.
Wait a minute.
It got stuck.
No, no.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
It got stuck.
No, no.
Let's...
Let's...
Let's...
I'll never argue with it.
Did you hear the joke?
I can't.
Did you hear the joke that says, "Don't do it again unless you fix the blade."
You remember what happened?
Yeah.
Did you hear that?
Watch.
Ready?
Maybe we shouldn't push our luck, K-Mar.
Everything's gone so well up to this point.
Watch.
Ready?
We have to do a commercial.
Are you gonna do it first or not?
One, two, three.
Allez.
Hop!
Oh, here we go.
All right.
We'll be right back.