Name: Dave Tries To Find Staffer Bob Borden A Date | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-06-26T15:00:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Tries To Find Staffer Bob Borden A Date | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Tries To Find Staffer Bob Borden A Date | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-26. Transcript available.

You know what we have a nice time doing every now and then on the program is
introducing to you various staff members here on The Late Show who make the
whole thing happen day in and day out. It's no easy task is it? A lot of very
nice very talented young bright men and women who every day come to work and
from the smoldering ashes craft and put together a lovely well honed smooth
running piece of machinery that is The Late Show each and every night. So that's
well... yeah and you are the people who are gonna buy the book too. If you
bought
that you'll buy the book. So tonight we're going to do just that. Gonna
introduce you to a very nice young man. This particular individual happens to
be
responsible for running The Mailroom here at The Late Show. Ladies and
gentlemen do
me a favor please say hello to Bob Borden. Bob come on out!
Good job. Thank you. Bob Borden our mailroom guy. Bob, let's tell the folks a
little bit about yourself. First of all, how long have you had the job?
About a month and a half. About a month and a half? Are you enjoying it?
Very much. Yeah? Things going well in The Mailroom? Yeah, very good. Where are
you from originally, Bob? I'm from Steubenville, Ohio. Steubenville, Ohio. Born
and reared there. Went to school there? I went to school in Kent State
University.
Kent State. Fine University.
Kent State. Fine University.
Yes.
Congratulations. And you graduated. You moved to New York City and you got a
job here on The
Late Show. Do you live right in New York City?
Actually, I live in Hoboken, New Jersey. Hoboken, New Jersey. That's a very
nice community, isn't it? Yeah. You're enjoying life over there?
I really like it. All right. So the job is good and your home in Hoboken is
good. What has been for you, Bob, the most difficult part about this major
transition in your life?
I'm having difficulties meeting women. Difficulties meeting women. Nothing to
be ashamed about because you come to a new community. Sometimes it is difficult
to meet people, you know, because of your job and the community and so forth.
Uh, did you have a lot of girlfriends before back in Ohio? Uh, no. Yeah.
Did, did you have like a girlfriend back in Ohio? No.
All right. Now, Bob, when we talked about this, uh, not so long ago, I said, "Well,
maybe I can do something nice for Bob because he's been so nice for us."
And, uh, two or three weeks ago, Bob and I spent the evening interviewing young
women to see if maybe Bob could find himself a suitable companion.
It was fun, wasn't it, Bob? It was great.
All right. Here, take a look at the videotape. Me and Bob talking to young
women.
Have you met any women here in the office you like?
Yeah. There's a lot of nice women.
And how's that going?
Uh, it's going nowhere.
Really? Yeah.
And why? Because they say, "Oh, no, there's some kind of policy. Uh, co-workers
can't date." Is that, have you heard that?
Mm. They just say, uh, "I don't want to date the mail boy."
Obviously nobody wants to date the mail boy.
I know, I'm...
Have you thought about lying about your position?
Mm. I can't lie when I'm delivering the mail.
Well, do you have pick-up lines? Do you know pick-up lines? Have they ever
worked?
I have... I just say, "Hello."
Yeah. And then they leave.
Nothing, yeah.
We're going to try and help Bob find a date, a companion, a friend.
Hello.
Hello.
Get up, Bob.
How do you do? I'm Dave Letterman.
Hi, Dave. Nice to meet you.
I want you to meet, uh, the producer of our show.
Hi, Bob.
Hi.
The producer of our show, Bob Borden.
The producer.
So, what'd you do today?
I delivered the mail.
Bob!
Oh, dance!
Have you ever been married?
Well, I just ended a four-year relationship.
Oh, boy. What happened there? What was that guy's name?
Um, Tony.
Tony? What's the deal on Tony?
He plays hockey in Scotland.
Oh, Jesus, Bob. I don't know. You don't have a prayer.
Sooner or later, you and Agatha are having a quiet dinner someplace.
The guy's drunk. He's going to bust in and club your ass to death with a hockey
stick.
I'm going to club your ass, Bob!
This is my executive producer, Bob Borden.
Hello. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
What do you do every day?
I'm just, I produce the show.
Let's just let it go at that.
Okay. Sorry.
Yeah. When work is finished, we don't like talking about work here.
Don't talk.
How do you feel about getting your mail promptly?
Fills you with admiration and respect for the men and women who do that job,
doesn't it?
Yes.
There you go.
Would you like a glass of wine?
Sure, I'll have a glass of wine.
Put it down there and pour it.
Oh, sorry.
Dave?
Good.
Do you think you'd kiss Bob on the first date?
Would I?
Uh-huh.
I don't know. It could happen.
Bob, would you try to kiss Agatha?
Probably not.
Thanks.
It's not, it's just, that's my nature.
Yeah, you just kind of lay back and let things happen.
Has anything ever happened, Bob?
No.
Bob is my business manager.
Handles all my financial affairs.
How we doing, Bob?
Great.
Making a killing, ain't we?
Yep.
I'm sorry.
Do you have any questions you'd like to ask Bob?
What do you like in a woman?
I don't know.
Do you have hobbies?
I like to scuba dive.
Scuba dive, you ever done any scuba diving?
I never, I just learned how to swim in the summer.
Do you have hobbies?
I sky dove once.
Skydive, well that's fascinating.
Can you, can you, with Bob, show us what that was like?
There we go.
All right, Bob, all right.
Good lord.
Oh, that's nice.
Thank you, Abigail, that was good.
What do you think Bob?
I'm impressed.
Oh my god.
I'm impressed.
Oh my god.
Would you marry me?
I don't know.
Oh, Jesus.
Congratulations, Bob.
You're a lucky man.
Good lord.
Oh, that's nice.
Thank you, Abigail.
That was good.
What do you think, Bob?
I'm impressed.
Oh my god.
Would you marry me?
I don't know.
Oh, Jesus.
Congratulations, Bob.
You're a lucky man.
I love the divorce in the mailroom.
Thank you.
Bob Gordon, our mailroom guy.
Thank you very much, Bob.