Name: Amy Sedaris Wants To Be Just Like Sarah Jessica Parker | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-07-04T22:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Amy Sedaris Wants To Be Just Like Sarah Jessica Parker | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Amy Sedaris Wants To Be Just Like Sarah Jessica Parker | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-04. Transcript available.

our first guest is a wonderful actress and a very funny woman and beginning
sunday
she'll be starring in a recurring role on hbo's sex in the city program here's
the always engaging
amy sedaris everyone wow you look well look at you you look great thank you so
much you look
very summery congratulations so long hello not anymore you look like you've
been enjoying the
summer so far i have been you know i have what you call tenorexia you know i
love to lay out is
that right yeah but um i got my bass tan in um louisiana this station called
trio this is a great
new station they sent me down there to cover the jazz festival which i thought
oh i mean that sounds
like a nightmare right there but it wasn't it was fascinating and great and it
was nice but i got
sunburned for the first time in my life i mean i'm 41. i'm 26 years old and i
got my scalp got um sunburned
and i looked like a blood orange that's how bad it was seriously a little blood
orange but um yeah
well you look i mean it looks very becoming you look fantastic well i have tan
lines is that growing
up in the south when i was little we always had tanning competitions we'd go to
the beach moorhead
beach and um we would that was having more head that's hilarious and uh we
would take the biggest
room in the in the cottage and we would turn it into the emollient center and
we put all our emollients
up and each night one of us was responsible for entertainment but it had to do
with tanning like i'm
might give a lecture on side tanning of course it involved drinking and smoking
but anyway you know
and then you know we would do exercises from the canadian air force manual and
and then we would
watch burt parks do miss america and then we would get a sash and a crown
whoever was darkest i never won
but my sister gretchen you know she'd get tanned inside of her ears really yeah
she's a pro that's
very sophisticated it's fun i know it's probably not healthy but you know you
feel great about yourself
now uh your friend just sarah jessica parker was here i guess last week or
something
why does that name bother me sarah jessica parker she's stingy she's crisis
prone she owes me a lot of
money is that right no i don't think she's gonna keep that baby did she tell
you no um actually
she's gonna keep it she's gonna keep it no but she's moving like a block for me
and i can't wait and i
have a room in her new house and it's the sunniest room that's great yes i'm
gonna black out all the
windows and um i've been begging her to be her nanny you know i want to take
care of the child you
have with matthew anyway um so i want to do like my modern version of agnes
morehead where it's like
uh yes miss parker you look beautiful i was wondering i put lulu down for her
nap very now i was
wondering if i could just get in advance a next week's paycheck what about that
christmas bone we
always trying to
but i like that baby that's extra creepy it's creepy she does you know ricky my
imaginary boyfriend we've
been trying for years to have a baby so she's just competitive but seriously
though i know two ladies
in my life one is this greek girl named antonia and the other one is sarah jessica
i mean whenever
i'm in a pickle or a jam um i always think what would a lady do what would sarah
do and it's always
the best she's such a good little role model well you know she was also very
gracious about your
infatuation with her husband oh him yeah yeah she said she thought well you
know they hit it off and
they seem to be they have a lot in common and she's really what else did she
say
uh-huh right you know because she's so much bigger than i am right now but i i
just i thought it was
interesting that that she recognized that the two of you uh have some sort of
chemistry yeah it's
chemistry exactly yeah it's beautiful it's amazing
well i hope that all works out for everybody me too now uh somebody told me
that your rabbit is
gone oh isn't that yeah i lost tattletale so it's devastating how long i had
the you have animals
right you have dogs you don't have any animals no i wish you did because i'd
like to tell you they're
gonna die i used to have uh animals i used to have dogs and now i have the dogs
of others oh okay a lot of
my friends a lot of my friends have dogs and that's just the best because you
know i pretend that they're
mine but i don't have to feed them or clean up after isn't that great no
responsibility exactly yeah
you get the fun of the animal exactly so so how long had your bunny your rabbit
been with you seven
years and it's yeah you know grieving it's just an awful thing to go through
and i my whole apartment
was i mean i lived with her everything was green and woods and you know and i
had carpet for her for
easter and um i did i was obsessed with tattletale but you know i was there for
her last breath it was
really perfect thing to go i mean we had a full seven years and it was quite
nice plus you could
take advantage of the grieving like i'd sit at home in my rocking chair cry my
eyes out and then i would
run to the bathroom and look in the mirror and just start laughing or like it's
like lifetime yeah you
know he's like you know like um oh so i found a tumor in my head you know the
size of a brussels
sprouter i i saw you hit her or you know just like anything to make myself
laugh because i have such a
hard time with crying like that so that's a plus that's a plus but um people
were nice people wrote
flower you know sent me flowers and and cards and um one guy brought me these
meatballs and he put blonde
raisins in them what does that mean it means raisins have no business in food a
raisin in a meatball
and then they they're so manipulating because they go it's my grandmother's
recipe and it's like well
it just tells me your grandmother couldn't cook either you know people use that
for an excuse but uh man
people were so uh generous how how did uh did the uh uh tattletale was that she
was murdered no well
uh rabbits get this thing i have blood on my hands in the morning i don't even
know anything um
the rabbits stop eating they get this thing called gut station and and uh that's
what happened
and her kidneys kicked in she's in a better place no you know she's in an urn
yeah and um all right maybe
not maybe she's not in a better place but now i call her uh ashley her name's
ashley all right we'll
be right back with amyson harris what are their uh plans what are you doing the
rest of the summer
you do a travel do you have you go places yeah just gonna read a lot and just
hang out and i i
have a screen door on my bedroom now don't tell tell but you know i put my
friend todd oldham who
helped me renovate my house put a screen door on it so you know that sound a
screen door makes when it
slams so it's just a blast i highly recommend do you have a screen door no no
no not in my bedroom
oh it's so much fun and then i'm going to embroider insects on the screen and
then i was thinking
about maybe i could get guys to walk me to that door you know what i mean yeah
so i plan on doing
that a lot you know and i'm just making crafts out of coconuts and you know
typical what kind of things
you make out of coconuts well the latest thing is um i have it like you make a
coca-cola bottle opener
and then if you hollow out a coconut and put underneath it and when you open up
a coca-cola or a beer and
the top goes it's a blast the top goes into the coconut live alone yes i do but
but the coconut
you're not really doing anything and just you're just putting it it's like you
could use any bowl
really to catch the caps right i screw it into the wall yeah but it's so much
you know it's more festive
that it's a coconut yeah and plus they're paying in the ass to work with hair
everywhere and you got
to cook them and stuff it's you need a dremel to get into it it's like but they
make really nice
housewarming presents so um i'm doing that now without the rabbit and without ricky
so it's just
what you and ricky were still together yeah well he's but he came for the
grieving process you know
and everything you know he wanted me to taxi during my rabbit but is there a
chance you and ricky and i
know he's an imaginary yeah but any chance you and he will ever get married we're
talking about it
you know fingers all right now let me help me out here and and everybody else
give people kind of a
rundown as to what you do it's a little uh like your resume you you're an
actress you're uh you're right
i know you're right uh but you we've seen you dance a little you dance some do
i dance you see me dance
i thought one time we saw you up doing something okay yeah i dance and uh and
do you sing do you ever
sing well when i was younger for some reason i'd go to the airport to entertain
people coming off the
flights i don't know why and i would go door to door and offer to get rid of
people's jack-o-lanterns
or in halloween i don't know i barely remember that part of my life but yeah
wait a minute but i like
i like to sing you know but i'm not a good singer have you taken any lessons i
mean any training no
i just like the energy and the you know getting up and what kind of things
would you sing political
songs mostly i'm a crooked politician you've got nicaragua we've got us get a
stand you know well i know
three songs i don't even know you know country songs okay yeah you like country
music no i can't stand
it but but i like the attitude of it but um uh yeah so now if i were to ask you
dad could you sing
part of a song here tonight yes i could you couldn't sing part of really well
this would be great would
you like to try this yeah okay do you have you do you want to work with folks i've
never worked with
someone you know i mean my pleasure what's the band tweezer they're going to be
so jealous okay
all right i'm going to go over here and i'm going to sing your song that i
would sing at airports
i don't know the name of it all right john denver's song i think okay we'll
look forward to this i
shouldn't be drinking hot cocoa but god bless you for doing this i know really
yeah oh that's okay i'm not
i'm not going to listen to you tall okay are you ready i'm with heaven west
virginia
i'm gonna have a large mountain shine it all river life is older older older
than the trees
i'm not going to live in the forest i'm not going to live in the forest i'm not
going to live in the forest
i'm not going to live in the forest i'm not going to live in the forest i'm not
going to live in the forest
i'm not going to live in the forest i'm not going to live in the forest i'm not
going to live in the forest
but i'm not going to live in the forest i'm not going to live in the forest and
i'm not going to live in the forest
amy sedaris everybody thank you very much take a bow we'll be right back with
jazz palm and dairy