Name: Denis Leary Has A Big Problem With The Olympics | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-07-29T22:00:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Denis Leary Has A Big Problem With The Olympics | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Denis Leary Has A Big Problem With The Olympics | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-29. Transcript available.

our next guest uh created and stars in a new television series entitled rescue
me which can
be seen wednesdays at 10 p.m on the fx cable network here's dennis leary how
you doing dave
welcome back to the program how are you now tell us about the show fx or rescue
me on fx first of
all what is fx that's fox uh no it's fx different from fox um it has no o in
the middle yeah
they're not affiliated with fox whatsoever it is it's actually affiliated with
fox somehow that's
what i thought but uh it means we get free ads on fox and and the show is
something that you created
and and and a subject matter near and dear to your heart yeah firefighters and
it was an idea i had
as a movie actually a couple years ago but i was doing the show the job on abc
which thank god they
canceled that because i can do this show now yeah so i i thought they just didn't
really like my show
but they actually had foresight they were geniuses yeah thank you abc and uh
and it's actually it's
it's about it's it's got a lot of comedy in it but it's a drama about uh what
it's like to be a fire
fire in new york city now after 9-11 so it's it's dealing with that it's also
just you know putting
out fires and and do people understand why this subject in addition to 9-11 is
so close to you
um well i have a foundation for firefighters called the leary firefighters
foundation my cousin uh jerry was
killed in a fire in december of 99 a horrible warehouse fire up in my hometown
and in response
to that i started to raise money to help firefighters families and to get
equipment for the fire department
um up there and that after 9-11 of course i had a couple friends who were
killed here and we expanded
and then when the job was canceled peter told who's my creative partner said
you know what maybe we should
do a show about instead of making a movie about firefighters because it's
really rich and it's like a
family of guys that live together in the firehouse and and fight fires and it's
been very interesting
because just today i came from the set um you know we we go and have we shoot
right in the city
we have fake fires in real buildings you know so today we can you do that
honestly yeah oh yeah
oh yeah you get the smoke going in the flames and i mean to the naked eye it
looked it would
look like a real fire yeah i didn't know any better and today there was an
actress who's up on
the fifth floor and she was rehearsing with the smoke and the flame and she was
screaming for help for
about to be honest with you about two minutes because they wanted to get the
sound level
and then one of the guys yelled up ah shut up and one of the neighbors called
the fire department
and said there's some firemen here they're not helping people and two trucks
rolled up
and one of the firemen jumps off i know the guy and he sees me and he goes oh
no it's another
rescue me fire you guys it was pretty funny pretty funny poor actors is up
there screaming one set
a fireman with a bad attitude yeah right yeah then we have the real firemen who
have to come and start
oh that's funny we'll come up and get yeah uh now uh i know you're a sports fan
uh maybe not a summer
olympics fan i know you love hockey and so forth but you're watching the summer
olympics i have a low
grade olympic fever yeah i dave i i think i've said this to you before we're
talking about sports i mean
i think the olympics are supposed to celebrate sports and i think some of this
stuff just really isn't
sports for example the pummel horse thing i know he's a circus people day
i mean
and it's reflected in this kid that's having the controversy about his gold
medal they can't
judge this stuff they don't know how to let these people win right you know he
flew around in the air
he landed all right give him the gold medal you know he's got a gay outfit on
give him another medal go
that drives me nuts and then there's certain things that are that are actually
i think very
subjective like the fastest man alive you know the guys win that race and all
of a sudden he's the
fastest man alive very subjective to me because how so take me you eddie brill
seven guys in this
audience right strap some bacon to our asses and let a grizzly bear go i think
i can win that race
really yeah but i never looked at it in those terms exactly as a matter of fact
i think it's very wrong
of the human race to exclude the animals from these olympics you know i'll tell
you what you put a couple
of sharks in that swimming pool and phelps is a dead man i'm gonna win yeah i'll
be out before anybody
uh you know so and and and the the event that i've really has gotten my
attention is the synchronized
diving synchronized diving now here's the good thing about it have you seen
them crash and when
they bump it have you seen this so when they bump into each other it's better
than nascar really
it's a free fall all the way down it's great great i haven't seen that stupid
i just uh i don't understand where it came from no i don't either i mean i i
have respect for the
divers because i i would never get up that high and jump off a little platform
into a big giant
pool i'd probably miss okay so i have respect for that that for the guys doing
that but what
idiot looks up and goes ah so what put two guys up there and come down the same
exact way mirror
images of each other that's like four guys boxing you know what i mean it makes
no sense we're just
bored you know we have add now we're bored now do something else you know oh
man oh that could be
fun yeah uh and uh anything else that excites you about the olympics of course
now that we're right
in the middle of track and field and then that sort of is the culmination of
and the thing and people
really at that point are you know well here's the thing i you know the guy i
think it was one of the
greek guys they they wouldn't let him race because they had tested him and they
said he tested with
too high a level of testosterone now they didn't say it was drugs and how do
you know unless you test
the guy you know it could have just really big cojones you know what i mean
that's right that's right
it's possible sure how do you know how do we know you don't know you don't want
to know well i don't
want to know i really don't want to know that's the case but uh but you know
here's the thing i'm
sick of the thing in baseball too with the steroids we have the drugs let's
just give them all the
drugs and let them get as big as they want to get exactly i'd like to have huge
jimungus athletes
biggest people ever you know so what if you can throw a shot for 25 yards i
want to see you throw an
actual olympic official from athens into downtown paris that's what i want a
thousand home runs a season is
what i'm looking for yeah imagine babe ruth on steroids we're talking probably
150 home runs a
week you know not to mention the hookers you know hey don't mention the hookers
you're originally from
massachusetts are you have an extra special interest in the political campaign
this year or not well i
guess so but it's um to me it's just so boring i think actually most people
feel this way with the
attack ads and everything and the conventions are just i mean even the networks
are backing off airing a
lot of the way they used to anyways and i think it's it's got to be fixed and i
think how we do it is
we have a real presidential race strap some bacon on their asses and really
yeah why not an actual
race an actual face you know why not and then the grizzlies chase that's right
that's right one guy
gets eaten the other guy's the president wow well actually here's what i think
um i think it's so
boring that we can fix it and it'll be really exciting and i think it's the
what america wants okay now i'm
basing this on reality tv right survivor four years from now ten candidates on
an island okay make
them eat bugs and all that stuff they do crawl around in mud last two guys left
everybody votes
like american idol right the loser has to leave the country for four years the
other guy's the
president what do you say oh yeah that's pretty good yeah and everybody will
watch you know
nobody's watching now do you uh know john carrey at all i do know john carrey
have you done some
things with him i've done some events with him he actually has come to my uh my
celebrity hat
trick up in boston which is to support my foundation for firefighters it's a
hockey game he played hockey
his whole life and uh the funny thing is is that even with a guy that's running
for president that's
in a room you know it should be the most important guy the most important guy
is bobby orr yeah sure
even john carrey shuts up when bobby orr walks in everybody's listening to bobby
orr maybe bobby orr
should run for president folks yeah maybe i'd vote for him what kind of hockey
player is a caring he played
his whole life you know especially for a guy his age he's he's a good hockey
player and uh he's gotten
hit a couple times and gets right back up um but uh of course i look at the
presidential race in a
very selfish way issues for me one is firefighters which is very important to
me and the second one
is hockey so i'm voting for carrie because if he gets in i'll help firefighters
they'll probably put
a rink in the white house and i can go and skate it's all about me really in
the end and uh speaking of
things all about you what about the red sox yeah they're not even well actually
the lead was uh they
were down like 10 games and now it's about five games we're not gonna win no i've
accepted that
there is a curse yeah there's a huge curse we're never gonna be broken it can't
be broken it's a
curse you know i understand that but can i tell you once you i've tried to
explain to my other red
sox fans and friends look just accept the curse and then it's so much more fun
because in my lifetime
red sox have been in the seventh game and every time they've been in the
seventh game in the world
series or in the playoffs to get to the world series they have gone up three to
nothing and then
they lose so like last year against the yankees once they go up three nothing
everybody else gets
really tense and i just go ha ha now the fun begins wake up the kids get the
cameras you know
something's gonna go drastically wrong and once you accept that yeah you know
you have a great time
many years a month or two after the series nobody remembers actually who won
the series but everybody
knows that the cubs don't win the series and that the red sox don't win the
series so you actually
get more fame by not winning you have more fun yeah that's right more fun i
mean trade your best
player in the middle of the season good why not sounds good to me and get
nothing for him thanks
i actually threw the first pitch out a couple weeks ago did you enjoy that were
you yeah well you know i i
did it with a friend of mine lenny clark who's also on the show and what i did
was i took him out to
the park uh you know in boston the day before and i made him i kind of i acted
like i was counting out
60 feet but i counted out 90 close to 90. and i had him throwing the ball i
might throw the ball back
to me he said this seems too long i said no no it's not so that psychologically
when you get out on the
mound he looked at me went oh this is going to be easy i said i knew it i
trained you the right way
because kerry was there and he threw a ball in the dirt you can't do that no
you don't want to
to hop but they had uh they had some model giselle something there and she hit
the backstop you can't
be in the dirt you know i mean you got to make it across the plate man in the
air you know how did
you do pretty well yeah fastball across the middle of the plate and um and now
you know it's just
waiting for the what's going to happen next which sucks i was walking out up
the stands after we threw
out the first pitch and all these fans are going hey this is the year i'm going
no it's not you idiots
keep buying your tickets rescue me wednesdays ten o'clock at 10 p.m on the fx
network yes thanks
good luck to you continued success nice to see you here dennis leary everybody

Denis Leary Has A Big Problem With The Olympics | Letterman

our next guest uh created and stars in a new television series entitled rescue
me which can
be seen wednesdays at 10 p.m on the fx cable network here's dennis leary how
you doing dave
welcome back to the program how are you now tell us about the show fx or rescue
me on fx first of
all what is fx that's fox uh no it's fx different from fox um it has no o in
the middle yeah
they're not affiliated with fox whatsoever it is it's actually affiliated with
fox somehow that's
what i thought but uh it means we get free ads on fox and and the show is
something that you created
and and and a subject matter near and dear to your heart yeah firefighters and
it was an idea i had
as a movie actually a couple years ago but i was doing the show the job on abc
which thank god they
canceled that because i can do this show now yeah so i i thought they just didn't
really like my show
but they actually had foresight they were geniuses yeah thank you abc and uh
and it's actually it's
it's about it's it's got a lot of comedy in it but it's a drama about uh what
it's like to be a fire
fire in new york city now after 9-11 so it's it's dealing with that it's also
just you know putting
out fires and and do people understand why this subject in addition to 9-11 is
so close to you
um well i have a foundation for firefighters called the leary firefighters
foundation my cousin uh jerry was
killed in a fire in december of 99 a horrible warehouse fire up in my hometown
and in response
to that i started to raise money to help firefighters families and to get
equipment for the fire department
um up there and that after 9-11 of course i had a couple friends who were
killed here and we expanded
and then when the job was canceled peter told who's my creative partner said
you know what maybe we should
do a show about instead of making a movie about firefighters because it's
really rich and it's like a
family of guys that live together in the firehouse and and fight fires and it's
been very interesting
because just today i came from the set um you know we we go and have we shoot
right in the city
we have fake fires in real buildings you know so today we can you do that
honestly yeah oh yeah
oh yeah you get the smoke going in the flames and i mean to the naked eye it
looked it would
look like a real fire yeah i didn't know any better and today there was an
actress who's up on
the fifth floor and she was rehearsing with the smoke and the flame and she was
screaming for help for
about to be honest with you about two minutes because they wanted to get the
sound level
and then one of the guys yelled up ah shut up and one of the neighbors called
the fire department
and said there's some firemen here they're not helping people and two trucks
rolled up
and one of the firemen jumps off i know the guy and he sees me and he goes oh
no it's another
rescue me fire you guys it was pretty funny pretty funny poor actors is up
there screaming one set
a fireman with a bad attitude yeah right yeah then we have the real firemen who
have to come and start
oh that's funny we'll come up and get yeah uh now uh i know you're a sports fan
uh maybe not a summer
olympics fan i know you love hockey and so forth but you're watching the summer
olympics i have a low
grade olympic fever yeah i dave i i think i've said this to you before we're
talking about sports i mean
i think the olympics are supposed to celebrate sports and i think some of this
stuff just really isn't
sports for example the pummel horse thing i know he's a circus people day
i mean
and it's reflected in this kid that's having the controversy about his gold
medal they can't
judge this stuff they don't know how to let these people win right you know he
flew around in the air
he landed all right give him the gold medal you know he's got a gay outfit on
give him another medal go
that drives me nuts and then there's certain things that are that are actually
i think very
subjective like the fastest man alive you know the guys win that race and all
of a sudden he's the
fastest man alive very subjective to me because how so take me you eddie brill
seven guys in this
audience right strap some bacon to our asses and let a grizzly bear go i think
i can win that race
really yeah but i never looked at it in those terms exactly as a matter of fact
i think it's very wrong
of the human race to exclude the animals from these olympics you know i'll tell
you what you put a couple
of sharks in that swimming pool and phelps is a dead man i'm gonna win yeah i'll
be out before anybody
uh you know so and and and the the event that i've really has gotten my
attention is the synchronized
diving synchronized diving now here's the good thing about it have you seen
them crash and when
they bump it have you seen this so when they bump into each other it's better
than nascar really
it's a free fall all the way down it's great great i haven't seen that stupid
i just uh i don't understand where it came from no i don't either i mean i i
have respect for the
divers because i i would never get up that high and jump off a little platform
into a big giant
pool i'd probably miss okay so i have respect for that that for the guys doing
that but what
idiot looks up and goes ah so what put two guys up there and come down the same
exact way mirror
images of each other that's like four guys boxing you know what i mean it makes
no sense we're just
bored you know we have add now we're bored now do something else you know oh
man oh that could be
fun yeah uh and uh anything else that excites you about the olympics of course
now that we're right
in the middle of track and field and then that sort of is the culmination of
and the thing and people
really at that point are you know well here's the thing i you know the guy i
think it was one of the
greek guys they they wouldn't let him race because they had tested him and they
said he tested with
too high a level of testosterone now they didn't say it was drugs and how do
you know unless you test
the guy you know it could have just really big cojones you know what i mean
that's right that's right
it's possible sure how do you know how do we know you don't know you don't want
to know well i don't
want to know i really don't want to know that's the case but uh but you know
here's the thing i'm
sick of the thing in baseball too with the steroids we have the drugs let's
just give them all the
drugs and let them get as big as they want to get exactly i'd like to have huge
jimungus athletes
biggest people ever you know so what if you can throw a shot for 25 yards i
want to see you throw an
actual olympic official from athens into downtown paris that's what i want a
thousand home runs a season is
what i'm looking for yeah imagine babe ruth on steroids we're talking probably
150 home runs a
week you know not to mention the hookers you know hey don't mention the hookers
you're originally from
massachusetts are you have an extra special interest in the political campaign
this year or not well i
guess so but it's um to me it's just so boring i think actually most people
feel this way with the
attack ads and everything and the conventions are just i mean even the networks
are backing off airing a
lot of the way they used to anyways and i think it's it's got to be fixed and i
think how we do it is
we have a real presidential race strap some bacon on their asses and really
yeah why not an actual
race an actual face you know why not and then the grizzlies chase that's right
that's right one guy
gets eaten the other guy's the president wow well actually here's what i think
um i think it's so
boring that we can fix it and it'll be really exciting and i think it's the
what america wants okay now i'm
basing this on reality tv right survivor four years from now ten candidates on
an island okay make
them eat bugs and all that stuff they do crawl around in mud last two guys left
everybody votes
like american idol right the loser has to leave the country for four years the
other guy's the
president what do you say oh yeah that's pretty good yeah and everybody will
watch you know
nobody's watching now do you uh know john carrey at all i do know john carrey
have you done some
things with him i've done some events with him he actually has come to my uh my
celebrity hat
trick up in boston which is to support my foundation for firefighters it's a
hockey game he played hockey
his whole life and uh the funny thing is is that even with a guy that's running
for president that's
in a room you know it should be the most important guy the most important guy
is bobby orr yeah sure
even john carrey shuts up when bobby orr walks in everybody's listening to bobby
orr maybe bobby orr
should run for president folks yeah maybe i'd vote for him what kind of hockey
player is a caring he played
his whole life you know especially for a guy his age he's he's a good hockey
player and uh he's gotten
hit a couple times and gets right back up um but uh of course i look at the
presidential race in a
very selfish way issues for me one is firefighters which is very important to
me and the second one
is hockey so i'm voting for carrie because if he gets in i'll help firefighters
they'll probably put
a rink in the white house and i can go and skate it's all about me really in
the end and uh speaking of
things all about you what about the red sox yeah they're not even well actually
the lead was uh they
were down like 10 games and now it's about five games we're not gonna win no i've
accepted that
there is a curse yeah there's a huge curse we're never gonna be broken it can't
be broken it's a
curse you know i understand that but can i tell you once you i've tried to
explain to my other red
sox fans and friends look just accept the curse and then it's so much more fun
because in my lifetime
red sox have been in the seventh game and every time they've been in the
seventh game in the world
series or in the playoffs to get to the world series they have gone up three to
nothing and then
they lose so like last year against the yankees once they go up three nothing
everybody else gets
really tense and i just go ha ha now the fun begins wake up the kids get the
cameras you know
something's gonna go drastically wrong and once you accept that yeah you know
you have a great time
many years a month or two after the series nobody remembers actually who won
the series but everybody
knows that the cubs don't win the series and that the red sox don't win the
series so you actually
get more fame by not winning you have more fun yeah that's right more fun i
mean trade your best
player in the middle of the season good why not sounds good to me and get
nothing for him thanks
i actually threw the first pitch out a couple weeks ago did you enjoy that were
you yeah well you know i i
did it with a friend of mine lenny clark who's also on the show and what i did
was i took him out to
the park uh you know in boston the day before and i made him i kind of i acted
like i was counting out
60 feet but i counted out 90 close to 90. and i had him throwing the ball i
might throw the ball back
to me he said this seems too long i said no no it's not so that psychologically
when you get out on the
mound he looked at me went oh this is going to be easy i said i knew it i
trained you the right way
because kerry was there and he threw a ball in the dirt you can't do that no
you don't want to
to hop but they had uh they had some model giselle something there and she hit
the backstop you can't
be in the dirt you know i mean you got to make it across the plate man in the
air you know how did
you do pretty well yeah fastball across the middle of the plate and um and now
you know it's just
waiting for the what's going to happen next which sucks i was walking out up
the stands after we threw
out the first pitch and all these fans are going hey this is the year i'm going
no it's not you idiots
keep buying your tickets rescue me wednesdays ten o'clock at 10 p.m on the fx
network 