Name: Dave Plays "Let's Look For Swedes" | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-08-13T17:03:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Plays "Let's Look For Swedes" | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Plays "Let's Look For Swedes" | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-13. Transcript available.

ladies and gentlemen you're in luck because tonight we did this a couple of
weeks ago
tonight once again because the weather ah the weather couldn't be nicer
did you notice how nice the weather was outside
death in the family i know how that can bum me out
um we decided tonight what better night than tonight to go downstairs and turn
on the external
camera and play another round of let's look for swedes
here's how we play we turn on the external camera paul plays some music and we
just begin our
thank you very much marty
it's a powerful effect people on the street actually frightening audience
members
and we'll just take a second or two here to settle in and
begin to play let's look for swedes i think that woman is probably swedish but
i'm going to let
her go i'm going to handicap myself i think we spotted her first swede that
woman is not swedish
no keep moving thank you lovely though wasn't she darn she was nice looking paul
introduce the guys
in the band again will you you got everybody oh okay good there there's a swede
right there
all right let's turn around and go no no right there that could be a swede
excuse me ma'am we'll get her run
over that's what i'll do oh and now she's had her purse removed hi ma'am we're
playing let's look for
swedes are you swedish no no are you close to swedish no no no no i'm not swedish
i am from new york from where new york city i see you're 33rd yeah i see
you have you have a little accent it sounds like you might be scandinavian
then i try to be but not often you try to be but not often so you're lying
because you think you
might win a prize is that all right i i think you have a bus waiting for you
right over there ma'am
thank you nice meeting you see that's the problem people start lying about
being swedish whenever we
play something about that guy i think we better avoid that man because whenever
a shot of him comes
up on camera all hell breaks loose in the audience we're playing let's look for
swedes now that woman
was pretending to be swedish she was not swedish and she was pretending to have
a little accent
oh that steams me here here how do you do ma'am nice to see you my name's dave
letterman
what is your name can you hear me hello hi can you hear me what are you
listening to there uh
some bach uh-huh uh where are you from ma'am are you from i'm from new york
city yeah ever been to
sweden no all right well nice meeting you and thanks for playing let's look for
swedes
you know the best part about uh playing let's look for swedes is you meet the
nicest people
like uh don't get anywhere near those guys hey vikings maybe close no you never
know
those people how do you do oh hello ma'am hi excuse me do you have a second to
chat with us my name is
dave letterman just just relax everything's fine i i have a license what is
your name um i really
don't want to get involved with this i know me either and i've been doing it
for 10 years
uh are you are you from sweden ma'am no i'm from iceland iceland
i tell you what ma'am if we don't find anybody from sweden can you hang around
there on the
corner for the next hour because if we don't find anyone from sweden then you've
won let's go looking
for icelanders nice meeting you and uh good luck have a lovely evening thank
you i love a lovely woman
what a very nice
ladies and gentlemen if you're just joining us tonight we're uh playing let's
look for swedes this
is the second time we've played it both times now it's not gone too well i
think the thing about
let's looking for let's go what is it let's look the part of the problem is the
title i don't know what
the final case yeah i think it ought to be either let's go looking for swedes
or just
looking for swedes but let's look for swedes for some reason doesn't compute
here in the old mental
computer and and i think the other thing about let's look for swedes is that it
takes a round or
two to really get up to stride i see that's what it is let's go back down there
hal and see if we
can't find us a sweet see this man this man is an imposter i'll tell you right
now he's heard he
heard we were playing let's look for swedes i heard he did something to his
hair he did something to his
eyebrows he made himself look kind of pasty and he's gonna try and pass himself
off as a swede what i
am finished not finished finish oh you're finished oh 100 apologies sir i
thought you were trying to
pass as a swede forgive me no no what part of what part of finland i don't know
i was adopted
get out of here just get out of here
was it did that guy had he distorted the entire audio system that guy was he
screaming so loudly
see that's the other thing we've played it twice now nothing ever seems to work
when we go looking
for swedes hello um but i i swear to you ladies and gentlemen before the night
is out we'll find you
a swede out there on the streets of new york city i would hate for you to go
home disappointed
the way you came in
watch it look out
poor woman i made her jump in traffic i don't know uh i wish i could speak swedish
then we'd
have a better chance at the first uh passive this is a bad corner let's go down
to the other corner
all right while they're relocating the camera ladies and gentlemen let's do our
top 10 list tonight
uh the category tonight uh shinead o'connor's top 10 complaints about the pope
wow i'll be the first to admit i i don't fully understand every element
involved here in the
protest i'll be the first to tell you it's beyond me a little bit i don't
really understand it
completely all right top 10 complaints about the pope here we go number 10.
they screwed up her vinyl
roof at the vatican car wash uh number nine never around when she needs help
picking lotto numbers
number eight snubbed her at the grammy awards number seven always telling
people he got that big
ring for winning super bowl in 86. uh number six doesn't let anyone else drive
the pope mobile number
five and properly uses piety to get hefty discounts at the gap uh at the movies
won't remove his eight
foot hat number three the way he's always entering and then quitting the
presidential race number
two the time he said i don't date but if i did i wouldn't date no bald chick
i don't fully understand the situation
and the number one complaint uh sinead o'connor has about the pope never picks
up a check there you go
let's go back and look for swedes here a second okay turn it on how we're
playing looking for swedes
now we need a little looking for swede music thank you all right hal turn it
there we go
oh very close that young girl there on the right i've heard that about that
they're nocturnal
and also they're marsupials did you realize that
why don't you see they raise their young in a pouch i think no those are the icelanders
oh oh that's
right well look for a smorgasbord how come there's not much traffic tonight how
do you oh yeah
ish she wanted to chat with me a little on her way home didn't she they can
look right into the
camera and say hello uh no they can't they'd have to have a receiver there this
woman's from sweden
right there excuse me ma'am hello ma'am pardon me my name's hello my name's dave
letterman can you
can you tell me where you're from ma'am are you are you from are you from a
different country
no he is oh where are you from sir
i'll handle this so you're from sweden is that right yeah that's true okay bjorn
what city in
sweden uh north syrping in where north syrping uh-huh yeah near stockholm yeah
yeah where do you live
in the city there uh in the city yeah in sweden yeah downtown uh-huh on the
main is uh near the tower
records there uh no we don't have a tower records yeah let me let me see some
proof that you're from sweden
let me see your passport do you have a passport no i didn't bring my passport
what is your last
name sir johnson j-o-n-s-s-o-n s-s-o-n exactly shouldn't that be e-n no
that's if you're from denmark uh how long have you been in this country uh
three years on a some kind of
visa uh yeah student visa uh-huh have you ever thought about mastercard
all right sir i tell you what if you can if you can come up here and prove to
us that you are
swedish then you've won let's go looking for swedes and you should be a proud
happy man i am i can
prove that i'm swedish all right come on up then and and bring your friend with
you okay all right
okay ladies and gentlemen look look at this it uh it looks like an episode of
the waltons or 30
something or we're all sitting around on the floor enjoying hey look what we
have swedish meatballs
who's from sweden you are matt yes all right we have a giant plate of these
boys there you go
enjoy those congratulations and what is your name sarah sarah and you and matt's
are friends
uh-huh and have you been to sweden uh-uh you know for a fact he lives in sweden
he's from sweden yes
and how do you know that how can you prove that to us now um he can speak swedish
all right let's
hear something in swedish uh what do you think roberto is he saying that my
friend is really my
ladies and gentlemen we have to go good night everybody
Thank you.