Name: Fan Request: Jerry Seinfeld's Pop Tart Obsession | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-08-30T15:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: Jerry Seinfeld's Pop Tart Obsession | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fan Request: Jerry Seinfeld's Pop Tart Obsession | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-30. Transcript available.

good to see you guys 28 years pounding the same gig unbelievable thank you very
much thank you
good night everybody yes so they they promote my show and I'm so sorry all
right so what I want to
talk about tonight is why are your friends so annoying it doesn't make any
sense these are the
people you have picked to be with you're like these people and yet everything
that they do
you're never going to the right restaurant you've got you gotta go it's so
great great restaurant
and I don't even like the great restaurants I don't want to hear the specials
if they're special put
them on the menu I don't want any auditioning foods when they make the real
show then I will eat it
and they explain to you how it's made you know which I and I don't know you
know they say cilantro
you have to pretend like oh don't tell me how you made it I can't cook that's
why I came in here okay I
don't care how you make it it takes two and a half hours and your ass hurts by
the end of it it's not
half as good as any pop-tart you ever had in your life anyway the pop-tart by
the way was a moment in time when
they invented and I think Tom broke outside is gonna be talking about the baby
boom and I am of that era and
when I was I was about eight they invented the pop-tart the back of my head
blew right off
right do you remember like what I was I was in the supermarket aisle with my
mother and I'm like
hold it hold up hold everything the hell is that fruit filled frosted rectangles
in a box the same
you open the box they're not even in there they're in packets remember the
packets lined with some kind
metallic alloy from NASA to protect them from gamma rays and Russian satellites
might shoot at your brown
sugar cinnamons you had to protect the and you open the packet how many were in
the packet two why
two one's not enough three is too many that's why it was perfect
perfect vision of the future from Kellogg's doing each packet two slots in the
toaster so you're eight
years old you're like I can do this the toaster companies are in on it too I
never had that
excitement at the greatest I don't want to go to the restaurants my friends
want me to go and I
don't want their phone everybody I know once you should get my phone why don't
you get that
what kind of phone do you have this you should have this phone and all my pretentious
show
business friends with their iPhone this I'm so sick of this okay I get it
can you do this with your phone no I can't I take my phone I do that with it
okay that's what I got
so my wife is on the blackberry now oh the blackberry people yes I know you're
here
surprise you're even paying attention to this they pay attention to nothing
they walk around holding the blackberry because that is what blackberry
commands them to do
you keep me out I want to see what's going on you try and talk you notice their
eyes are just like
they're like wooden doll eyes or they just they're always you're trying to talk
to them but they're not
not really there
or they do that creepy head down thing on you uh-huh
what is that do we even know what rudeness is in this culture anymore could I
just pick up a magazine hold it in front of your face and read it while you're
talking is that what we're doing now?
so anyway so she gets the blackberry she uses it in the car brings it in the
house the other night I found it in the bed she was gone me and the blackberry
I tried to smother it with another pillow but it doesn't use oxygen
a couple days later she found it in the bottom of a bowl of yogurt oh it said
blackberry I guess I got confused thank you very much
very strong very very strong very very strong very Seinfeld everybody
oh my goodness
what a treat this is a great crowd well I want to tell you something they're
great they were
uh they were uh they were they were they were good for me when I came out here
and then when you came out here oh my God it was like a concert I feel like we
were at a public uh a personal appearance
thank you tremendous very strong thank you very strong thank you very strong I
feel like I did personally appear yeah you did and and but the material just
just great and I'm trying to think when the last time you were on the show it
hasn't been so many months has it
a year or a year or so yeah well you should come on more often and do that okay
because Lord can I do the same thing over and over yes I do I do the same thing
thank you it's very nice of you to invite me now tell us about the the kids
because I I although I'm older than you are I look up
to you in terms of fatherhood because you were a father before I was a father
you know but it's you have three children three nine nine seven and four give
us give us the rundown how's that going pretty good yeah
um now fatherhood as you probably you may not have formed the thought but you
know that the kids they don't
they don't really get what you're doing there right you know their mom is
really there she's giving them what they need emotionally and all their needs
and dad is just around and they're trying to figure out and what do we need
this person for exactly
and uh it so now I'm starting to talk to them about what I do and a little bit
but it was years into their lives like that I could see them looking at me like
they were going to come over and say
I'm sorry is someone helping you
now your son your son Harry he's six that's correct now is he are you seeing
any comedic inclinations from him well depends on what you mean by comedic I
mean funny I well I
I see him kind of mirroring some of the stupid things I do that's what I want
to talk about yes yeah and and you probably have it now from all three no my
daughter seems which is weird because you know it's your daughter you don't
think she's going to be the but she has a comedian which she does me and it's
odd you know I mean the first time I said to her I'm not this is not a made-up
story for a talk show but it sounds like it
it sounds like it mm-hmm I said to her let's you know her name is Sasha Sasha
come on we're we're having dinner now she goes oh like I didn't know that
well and I thought okay so the cranky sarcasm gene is going to be moving along
it must be a bit of a shock when that happens it is a shock and like she's
reading joke books and we were riding in the car one day she's in the back of
the car and she goes this was a few years ago she's nine now she was six she
says to me you know dad I really like making people laugh oh that's and I went
oh I know the feeling
do you uh uh uh in terms of uh uh fatherhood uh so much of it is guesswork but
but they're also I think we're guided by instincts somewhat somewhat I think in
the mail it's it's there's very few you know um I think the only two male uh
fatherhood instincts are the announcement of the return to the home
all fathers have this urge to create a very momentous occasion
you know daddy's home yeah this will change everything
that's right banks are closed yeah you know like in the mail mind you think
family members are going to drop to their knees and weep at their good fortune
that
and of course you know they you expect them to be excited but they don't get
excited because
they know once your jacket is off that concludes your involvement with anyone
or anything in the house
all mom all mom all mom hears from the kids all days where's your where's your
father that's all they
the mother's constantly where is he no one can find dad he's just he's under
the car he's in the ship where is he
you saw him at the wedding where's your father at the wedding oh my uh but now
you are and I are in similar
positions I'm older of course but as you grow older does it change your
perspective about having the kids
well yeah I mean I mean it's kind of part of what I was talking about the annoyance
I mean here living
here in New York you got to go to this place and that and I don't want to do
anything anymore
right when I was in your 20s you want to do everything in your 30s there's a
couple things you don't want
to do when you're 40s there's a couple things you still want to do and now I
just you know whatever
it is I'm not interested I'm just you know whatever whatever just a blank I'm
not going you know
but I mean nonetheless you you lead a full rich productive life I mean you're
traveling around
doing your comedy you've created this show on another network but you've
created a show I created
a show this is your second show for that other network partly because of you
you like because I
because didn't you you did the Raymond show right and I kind of thought well
how did he do
that well I had nothing to do with you did no I just waited for the checks that's
that's all I did
but you right in there you built this thing from ground up from the ground up
and the thing
I like about this thing is that it's it's kind of an invention and I kind of
miss the um 60s
tonight show thing and when celebrities kind of hung out on these shows and
they weren't promoting and
they were just kind of talking and I thought I wonder if you could recreate
that using the subject of
marriage which I have found over the years it's just kind of draws people out
people just have
opinions and I like I like marriage troubles I find them I know what you're
talking about yes yeah well
not in my shoes but uh no no but I have to tell you
but I have to tell you Dave the worst it is for you the better it is for us
okay as long as we are having a ball some purpose but uh but I know what you
mean I mean it's such
a common denominator and it's great fodder for conversation so that's the basis
for the show
and talk about uh the people that you get on the program I saw the first one it
was you of course
it was Alec Baldwin it was Kelly uh Ripa and it was it was Tom Papa was our
host that's right
you know who else is on the damn show Marv Albert yeah wow makes no sense
well I wasn't going to say that but yeah no but it's it's because it's a sports
kind of themes and
what if marriage could be like sports that was really where we started and and
and uh it's it's uh
niggling problems it's it's not uh not structural problems uh no nothing big
differences nothing big
there's a couple on we're shooting a show tonight actually that'll be on next
week where there's a
couple and the husband wants to move to hollywood the husband the wife wants to
move to hollywood the
husband wants to move to amish country and there's not a lot of overlap there
you know not really
we thought we might send him the branson as a prize you know a little bit of
doesn't disneyland have
an amish country isn't that part of the theme park deal uh the program the
marriage ref premieres
tomorrow night on another network on another who knows yeah who he had to take
a guess where that
might be uh the always great jerry seinfeld jerry thank you very much thank you
very pleasure to see you